...A Little Scared

[Byzantine Prince]

Try and find the bright side, instead of dwelling on the wherefore. Now this happened, and there is no way to go back, unless you choose to ignore the situation. But you probably are too much man to do that.
It's scary, but also very fun to have a baby. It's like a new, expensive, messy, time-straining hobby, but also probably the most rewarding one.

Congratulations.

[English assassin]

I've already found the resolve in myself long ago (she had mentioned the possiblity of it earlier) and I find myself a man of honor and compassion so there is without a trace of doubt that I will take care of them both to my utmost abilities, and I refuse to abandon either of them under any circumstances. Even if I have to give up college for awhile.

Good for you mate. I salute you. Best of luck

[LeftEyeNine]

Congrats, Wazikashi. However I can not keep myself from questioning the age of the parents of the baby.

There is no way you are leaving the lady in such situation -I already know you do not intend to. Please examine your present and the future precisely and decide. I think it's not medically too late in case both of you may decide that this is too early.

Raising a child definitely needs more than money. Above love and care you'll be giving to the baby, it needs -especially at such time like yours- dead-sea-like patience. This is primarily related to your characteristics, however young people easily run out of patience. And what's more, the mother, who will be spending all of her time with the baby, is even younger than you. I'm sure you're adults and wise people, however growing a child is generally expected to be the last one happening during "completing" your adulthood life.

This is no childplay, Wazi. After you are done with setting up your mind and feel completely rested, sit down and review what's going on around to make your final decision.

Look what Offspring sang in "Hit That":

What was a family
Is now a shell
We're raising kids now
Who raise themselves
Sex is a weapon
It's like a drug
It gets him right into that grave that he just dug

Do the best thing not only for you two, but also the baby as well, please. World is crowded and cruel enough not to handle a new unhappy kid.

We all hope you'll get over this blur very soon. Now take a beer, you are a father candidate at least for now.

[x-dANGEr]

Congratulations.

Now, you must know that having a baby will tie the possibilities of you, and your girlfriend.. As you won't be able to do any risks financial-work wise. As long as the baby hasn't reached the age 3 months (When it will become alive, kick and do stuff like that), you are free to put it down, the fetus I mean. And I think you should consider that option, and scale the sacrifice you're willing to take, to meet this new part of your soul and hers.

Good luck.

[Kaiser of Arabia]

Good luck mate, best wishes.

[Reverend Joe]

Listen, man, you be goddamned careful. Look deep inside your psyche, and decide whether you really want to have the kid, or whether people are just pressuring you two into it. You are your own, man, and you make your own decisions.

If, of course, you really do want to have the kid, fine. No problem. But if you (and ESPECIALLY if your girlfriend) are being pressured into it- don't do it. These things have consequences, and they will come to light, sooner or later, one way or another.

Again, if you do want to have the kid, don't be pressured out of it, especially not by someone like me. Have him/her, take damn good care of the kid, and for god's sake, if it's a girl, keep her the hell away from people like me.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Congratulations!

You are a good man, and I know you will do well.

God Bless,
Crazed Rabbit

[Divinus Arma]

I'm glad to hear abortion is out of the question.

That is a human being you have there. Adoption is fine, but abortion? That's a person dude. So good choice to the both of you.

As a father-to-be myself, I can never again say that abortion is acceptable unless very very very serious birth defects are present.

That said, ya. You are pretty screwed. Don't marry her. Dating for six months? You'll regret it. She's just a lay at six months. You won't even begin to really know each for at least another 2 years.

Trust me. I got married at 20.

(and we are still married, many years later)

Luckily we shared similar views in politics, role realtionships, and religion. It would have been bad otherwise.

I would say skip marriage for now and get to know each other. You can still have the benefits of father hood without the emotional attachment to the mother.

It is better to start off divorced than end up divorced. ya know?

[Papewaio]

I was two weeks short of thirty when I got married, while my brother was 23 and got married last year. He is the more emotionally mature of the two of us. So don't worry too much about your age or even politics... having differences is afterall what being men and women is and is fun too... just make sure that you learn to argue, learn more about each other and keep your partner interested by keeping to learn new things. Learning is life and life is learning.

BTW Do some of the domesitc chores... if for only selfish reasons.

[Rodion Romanovich]

Good luck Wakizashi! Just remember that +1 person is a greater step than +1 postcount, so be sure to think it over. If you do want an abortion it must be done early so it's worth taking the time to think it through at an early stage. If you don't want an abortion, then I second what the others said - it's a great responsibility and make sure you go for it completely! But in the end getting offspring is what life is about, if you're sure she's the right one and so on then there isn't much to worry about if you have the economical abilities to pay upkeep for a family.

[rory_20_uk]

Everybody is "ready" for such things at different points in their lives.

Often the act of such situations makes us improve our game to deal with the situation.

Recently my Father was telling me of a story of a couple he used to know. They were going to have kids but only when certain criteria were met. My Father said that if one proceeds with that attitude likelihood is one never will.

I hope that you are close in geographical and social terms with at least one set of your parents. Grandparents can be a boon in helping spread the load, and it also helps keep them young. They've done it all before, and do have some great tips if you can listen to them (my Mother didn't appreciate being told thick doors was a good solution to children that cry when they don't get their way).

The cons on having children are all to obvious. The pros one has to be there (so I'm told).

I would say that if a child would destroy your life plans then think very carefully. Would you resent your future position in life due to having children too early?

At the end of it all, I wish you well and hope that whatever happens you can pop in here from time to time. We've only got one life to live, so whatever happens just make sure you are at peace with the decision.

And... at least you know you're fertile

[doc_bean]

Congratulations

Don't forget there are two people in a relationship, don't unload all the baby stuff on your girlfriend while you go to college/have a career/whatever. She has as much right to a life as you. At least that will be what she will be screaming at you in a few years if you don't take my advice

You are both very young, and that will put a serious strain on things. You probably only have a vague idea of what you wanted to do with your life, your girlfriend should be fresh out of highschool and probably has given it even less thought. These are the years you are supposed to discover the world, and perhaps more importantly, yourself. I don't have any good advice on how to overcome this unfortunately. Try living life as you would otherwise, but with less drinking and partying, and share the load is the best I can think off.

Good luck, and post cute pictures !

[Byzantine Mercenary]

thats a brave decision youve made, good on you and good luck

[naut]

I wish you the best of luck. /

Review your decisions carefully with you girlfriend, and make sure you are both at a place in your thinking where you are sure that you two will remain strong, and respect and love each-other for a very long time. Be sure that you come to the right conclusion about keeping the baby, be sure you will be able to care and love him/her financially and paternally.

And it is the suprises in life that make life worth living. So make a choice on your instincts, they will guide you true.

In the words of the Chili's:

"Ready Made, Ready Made
Listen you, don’t be afraid"