I don't play many shooters - I agree with EA, they are often rather dumb. And maybe I'm useless at them as well.
One or two I've liked though. Max Payne 2 was excellent - subtitled a "film noir love story", it lived up to the billing and had some really good characterisation and story telling. The gameplay - bullet time and all - was fun enough.
I really liked Vietcong - it was rather like living Apocalpyse Now or Platoon, albeit acted by day-time soap opera stars rather than Hollywood A lists. It had really nice varied missions and felt pretty authentic.
But I think what the original poster needs are FPS/RPG hybrids. Deus Ex and System Shock 2 are the two outstanding original classics in the genre, not yet surpassed. Vampire Bloodlines is a recent addition that equals them but is woefully under-rated. These games give you atmosphere, characterisation, story, non-linear gameplay, moral choices ... and the chance to shoot something.
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