Ronaldo joke

[English assassin]

Out on her royal yacht the queen was enjoying the sea air when she
spied a man in the water off the port bow - clearly being menaced by a very large shark.
>
Through her binoculars she could see it was Christian Ronaldo,
struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20 foot shark!
The queen ordered the captain to change course to try and save the poor man, but she knew the yachts top speed would never get them there in time.
>
At that exact moment a speedboat containing three men wearing white
tops sped into view. One of the men took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled Ronaldo from the water and, using long clubs, beat the shark to death.
>
They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious Ronaldo into the speedboat
along with the dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic calling ...... It was the Queen calling them to the yacht.
>
On reaching yacht the Queen went into raptures about the rescue and
said, "I'll give you a knighthood for your brave actions. I thought the England team would hate Ronaldo after the world cup. But I see that the England team are true heroes and should serve as a model for sportsmanship to other countries." She knighted them and sailed away.
>
> As she departed Rooney asked the others, "Who was that?!"
>
"That," Beckham answered, "was our Queen. She rules the Commonwealth
and knows everything about our country."
>
"Well," Rooney replied, "she knows naff all about shark fishing. How's
the bait holding up?"

[Boohugh]

Hehe, I saw a similar version of that with the Pope and a Frenchman

[doc_bean]

> As she departed Rooney asked the others, "Who was that?!"

That's my favourite part

[InsaneApache]

Poor little lamb, now look what you've done. You've gone and made the little darling cry.

[Rodion Romanovich]

Haha priceless

[littlelostboy]

Hahahaha, that was funny, especially the last part.

[Divine Wind]

Haha very good

I loved they way he got boo'ed by the majority of the crowd last night...how nice!

[The Stranger]

whhahahhaha

very good :P

[naut]

Wonderfull

[Csargo]

Hilarious

[JAG]

I hope he gets boo'ed at every single stadium and game in the Premiership and beyond, forever.

[InsaneApache]

I hope he gets boo'ed at every single stadium and game in the Premiership and beyond, forever.

I can only concur. I look forward to seeing him at the Reebok next season.

[Louis VI the Fat]

Who's this Ronaldo bloke you're all going on about.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Aaahh, it feels sooo good!

[cegorach]

English no1 enemy has his own thread in the ORG, how amazing !


I wonder when English football fans will finally discover that maybe first thing is to play well and blaiming someone else is the last resort.

English team played terible football and I am really not sad that it failed, in fact you might be greateful to the red card Rooney got because after that it was the first time England shown some spirit during this World Cup.

[Quid]

I coudn't agree more. It's amazing how somebody always has to be the scapegoat with the English. Sort of have to vent their frustration on someone other than themselves. I seem to remember Euro 2004 where it had to be the ref (the missed penalties, of course, coudn't have anything to do with it). Those were disgraceful attacks.

Ronaldo is actually a good player (Man U wouldn't have considered him otherwise). So, he is not a candidate for the fairplay award. Many other players from various countries have asked the ref to card or send others off. Sad, but nothing new there. We all know that footbll is played differently on the Isles and quite franky, I appreciate that as well. This, however, is the WC. The standards are different. You don't have to like it and you can vent your frustrations there. The overall quality of refs was disgraceful - vent it there. You can critizise many things but going for one man and hoping he would be shunned (or even hurt) in Britain strikes me as a little sad, to be honest, and has further very little to do with fairplay...

Quid

English no1 enemy has his own thread in the ORG, how amazing !


I wonder when English football fans will finally discover that maybe first thing is to play well and blaiming someone else is the last resort.

English team played terible football and I am really not sad that it failed, in fact you might be greateful to the red card Rooney got because after that it was the first time England shown some spirit during this World Cup.

[InsaneApache]

Hey Quid, I like your sig.

Wow that rhymes.

I'm a poet dont ya know it,
I rhyme all the time.

[Quid]

It is my destiny that I run into these things (more often than I would like, lately). I knew, that one day, that sig would get me into trouble. Never mind.

However, my point still stands. Why not go for Rooney who, after all, was the demise of the English (arguably). Nothing stopped you to go for Becks in 1994 (which was a bit of a surprise since he was one of your own). Go for Sven, go for Rooney, go for Lampard...whoever. None of the aforementioned did their job particularly well. Hell, go for the whole team. Look for mistakes in your own ranks. It might even help. Becks had never played so well as he did after the attacks.

Hey Quid, I like your sig.

Wow that rhymes.

I'm a poet dont ya know it,
I rhyme all the time.

Edit: Oh, and you're just bitter!

[English assassin]

Quid

Yeah, we'll do all that. But that's not a reason not to say Ronaldo is a git and the Portuguese have got more divers than the Royal Navy.

Oh and BTW I don't blame anyone else for England's exit and I don't think many of our fans do. Number one rule of football: the score never lies. Even when it lies, the score never lies, if you see what I mean.

[Fragony]

Who's this Ronaldo bloke you're all going on about.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Aaahh, it feels sooo good!

Shame on you for that smiley

[Quid]

Hear me say it! Ronaldo is a git and the Portuguese have more divers than the Royal Navy!

I agree, I just find the whole blaming-one-person-act a little tiresome. The WC is over for you boys. Start new, do better in 2008 and good luck. Hopefully, we will be as welcoming to you all as Germany was this year.

Quid

Quid

Yeah, we'll do all that. But that's not a reason not to say Ronaldo is a git and the Portuguese have got more divers than the Royal Navy.

Oh and BTW I don't blame anyone else for England's exit and I don't think many of our fans do. Number one rule of football: the score never lies. Even when it lies, the score never lies, if you see what I mean.

[InsaneApache]

Edit: Oh, and you're just bitter!

As bitter as a lemon and aspirin sandwich.

[Alexanderofmacedon]

Out on her royal yacht the queen was enjoying the sea air when she
spied a man in the water off the port bow - clearly being menaced by a very large shark.
>
Through her binoculars she could see it was Christian Ronaldo,
struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20 foot shark!
The queen ordered the captain to change course to try and save the poor man, but she knew the yachts top speed would never get them there in time.
>
At that exact moment a speedboat containing three men wearing white
tops sped into view. One of the men took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled Ronaldo from the water and, using long clubs, beat the shark to death.
>
They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious Ronaldo into the speedboat
along with the dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic calling ...... It was the Queen calling them to the yacht.
>
On reaching yacht the Queen went into raptures about the rescue and
said, "I'll give you a knighthood for your brave actions. I thought the England team would hate Ronaldo after the world cup. But I see that the England team are true heroes and should serve as a model for sportsmanship to other countries." She knighted them and sailed away.
>
> As she departed Rooney asked the others, "Who was that?!"
>
"That," Beckham answered, "was our Queen. She rules the Commonwealth
and knows everything about our country."
>
"Well," Rooney replied, "she knows naff all about shark fishing. How's
the bait holding up?"

Good one. Germany will avenge you today.

[Divinus Arma]

What did he do?

[InsaneApache]

What did he do?

Shhh, it's secret.