My 10 most beautiful women who are way more intelligent than you

[solypsist]

No but seriously fellow Orgers, a beautiful yet intelligent woman (heh. I said “yet”) is something that deserves our worship as much as our apprehension. You see, beautiful women don’t need to be intelligent. They’ll get along just fine in life saying “O RLY?” at everything you say, as you confuse them all the way to the bedroom and mount them just as they figure out, to their horror, what the **** is happening. So, when a woman defies convention by being both hot AND thinking your vast array of chat-up lines based around the model “do you have any (insert nationality here) in you? want some?” are about as amusing as being smashed in the tender bits with a wet paper bag full of piranhas, it can be befuddling and in extreme cases, downright embarrassing.

Thus, I have fought tooth and nail, both to find out what that expression means, and to collate information on 10 such examples of these women. Gentlemen, if you ever see one of these women at a bar and become possessed with the desire to try your luck, be forewarned that it’s going to take more than your boyish charms and your rapier wit to get any of these women into bed - it’s going to take intelligence. Or enough Rohypnol to kill a manatee.


Mira Aroyo
Mira Aroyo is a rare, multi-talented gem of a woman hailing from deepest, darkest Bulgaria. Not only is she a member of the brilliant British band, Ladytron (whose album “Witching Hour” I consider to be a must-listen for all of you), but she is also a model. Oh, and she also has a PHD in Genetics from Oxford University. An appealing combination of man-friendly traits - Mira is the kind of girl who can rock out with the band for your friends, pout for you in private, and acknowledge with a reassuring brand of scientific authority that it’s not your fault you are going bald.




Mira Sorvino
Semi-proving that I have a fetish for women named “Mira”, Mira Sorvino represents both the 2nd Mira on my list and also a disgusting overachiever. Mira graduated “Magna Cum Laude” from Harvard University with a degree in East Asian Studies. Note that I write “Magna Cum Laude” whilst laughing to myself, because my tiny male brain’s automatic reaction to the words “cum laude” is to say “haha. cum laude” under my breath, belittling the massive achievement that “Magna Cum Laude” actually is. Mira is fluent in Mandarin and is apparently an excellent singer.



Severn Cullis-Suzuki
Severn already has an epic list of accomplishments long enough to cause my testicles to spontaneously retract all the way up to my eyeballs in humble acceptance of how pathetic my life is compared to hers. Yale graduate and daughter of renowned geneticist and environmentalist David Suzuki, Severn is a member of Kofi Annan’s Special Advisory Panel and has been awarded so many accolades that I’ve almost gone full circle and have ceased to be impressed by it.

[solypsist]

Natalie Portman
Apart from being an accomplished child and teenage actress, Natalie Portman - now all grown up at age 25 and well within the socially-acceptable moral threshold for me try and pick-up - is as beautiful as she is bright. Fluent in Hebrew and English with conversational ability in a smattering of other languages (including Japanese), Portman also attended top Ivy League institution Harvard University, where she graduated with a degree in Psychology in 2003.



Liya Kebede
From humble beginnings, superstar model Liya Kebede has blossomed into an inspirational role model to make all of us look at the floor and kick our heels in guilt at the fact that we do sweet f.a. for the well-being of others. When not strutting down the catwalk draped in Gucci, Louis Vuitton and D&G, Liya Kebede campaigns for social awareness in her role as WHO Goodwill Ambassador for Maternal, Newborn and Child Health. In 2005, she was awarded the UN Day Award and gave this speech as part of her acceptance. She is also head of a self-named foundation to improve the health of mothers and children around the world.



Vanessa Mae
As a violin player myself, Vanessa Mae’s story simultaneously amazes me and fills me with envy no matter how many times I read it. Whilst she had the benefit of significant financial backing from affluent parents whereas I had to fashion my first violin from saliva and ripped up pieces of old Chinese newspapers, it is undeniable that she was an extraordinarily talented musician as a youth - having performed with many of the best orchestras in the world well before her 20s. Whilst I look upon her adulthood goal of “sexifying” Classical music with obvious hype-machine-induced cynicism, it doesn’t stop me from wanting to be on her.



Queen Rania of Jordan
Whilst many royal women are renowned for their philanthropic activities (a convenient, royal byproduct of being bored and having loads of money), Queen Rania is different. She’s hot. In addition to being hot, Queen Rania has quite a brain sitting beneath that multi-million dollar crown. Born a plebian like the rest of us, Rania graduated with a degree in Business Administration and worked at jobs for Citibank and Apple, before becoming all royal by marrying king Abdullah bin Al-Hussein in 1993. With this new-found Real and Ultimate Power, Queen Rania has made her mark on the world with her involvement in several core economic and welfare-related issues including best practices in the field of microfinance and the incorporation of Information Technology into schools. She is also a foundation board member of the World Economic Forum and lends her time to countless other charities and initiatives.

[solypsist]

Carmen Kass
As a supermodel, Carmen Kass probably has to deal with a lot of stereotypical assumptions about her intelligence. For example, you probably wouldn’t peg her as the kind of girl who excels at abstract, strategic board games. In fact the only game I know that supermodels excel at involves loads of cocaine, a parrot that can recite lines from “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off” and seventeen buckets of fake semen - but I do keep rather eccentric company. Anyway I digress. Apart from being a model for the likes of Dior, Prada, Gucci and Chanel, Carmen Kass is also the President of the Estonian Chess Association. This isn’t just some meaningless, honourary title because she once touched a chess board and the Estonian Chess Association shat their pants and threw money at her agent - she actually kicks *** at chess, plays in tournaments and allegedly prefers a quiet game of chess indoors with friends as opposed to those clichéd supermodel parrot / fake semen parties.



Sabrina Houssami
Sabrina Houssami is Australia’s proud entry into the Miss World 2006 contest. Whilst Miss World is usually a depressing, conveyor-belt sushi ride of vacant, wide-eyed women saying the same “world peace is like totally awesome!” judge-friendly speech over and over again, I’m expecting good things from Sabrina, and I’m not just talking about her bikini top. Sabrina is a mere 19 years old but has already won many accolades in the fields of public speaking and debate. She was a member of the New South Wales champion debating team of 2003 and this year she was a speaker on the winning team of the Goodwill Week Great Debate. She is pretty much everything I look for in a woman - that smouldering yet mysterious Middle-Eastern look and the assertiveness to tell me when I am completely full of ****. Which is all the time.



Ada Lovelace
I know, I know. You can’t sleep with a dead woman. Legally. Ada Lovelace is the only dearly departed (in 1852) member of my list, but no less deserving. Ada was trained from birth to be a maths and science genius thanks to her mother’s fear and suspicion of hippie, liberal arts types - which was brought on by a nasty breakup with Ada’s poet father, Lord Byron. Ada is well known for her contributions to and English documentation on Charles Babbage’s Analytical Engine. Ada, with her mathematically-inclined mind, suggested to Babbage to write a plan on how his machine could be used to calculate Bernoulli numbers. This plan is now regarded by historians as the first computer program ever written.




I hope you enjoyed my terrifyingly frank foray into the world of women who are just way better than any of us. Perhaps I’ve instilled in you a new-found appreciation for the female of the species. Perhaps I’ve rekindled your interest in personality and intellect over attributes that are merely physical.

[naut]

Or enough Rohypnol to kill a manatee.

epic list of accomplishments

[Papewaio]

To put it in geek terms:

There is no point in having great hardware if the software doesn't work. Might as well be an expensive paper weight.

[Reverend Joe]

Sooooooooooo...

How many don't have a rotten personality?

Honestly, physical attraction was already second on my list, after someone who I can actually like. Hey, slow people can still be clever and likeable, and smart people can be jerks. It all depends on the woman.

[naut]

Sooooooooooo...

How many don't have a rotten personality?

Honestly, physical attraction was already second on my list, after someone who I can actually like. Hey, slow people can still be clever and likeable, and smart people can be jerks. It all depends on the woman.

Totaly agree!

I've met many political/social activists, and they all tend to be the same, arrogant SOBs who think they can tell you how to live your life etc. They like to blab too. (that gives me an idea for the grumpy old man thread). Argggh!!

[doc_bean]

Great list Soly

(although the third woman doesn't seem to have a picture)

Now let's hope, for the sake of our gene pool, that these women actually chose to breed

[Mikeus Caesar]

Ada Lovelace
I know, I know. You can’t sleep with a dead woman.

I beg to differ...

Anyway, you're completely correct - out there in the big world, you do come across the occasional beautiful woman who has a brain larger than a peanut.

In the scientific world, these are called hallucinations. We can pretend they're real though, can't we?

[Beirut]

Mira Sorvino

Ain't she a doll...

Fortunately, smart women have "caveman fantasies" in proportion to their intellect. Hence, a happy me.

"Why yes dear, I can kill a deer with my hands, skin it with my teeth, build a fire, cook you fresh venison then lay you down on a deerskin rug and ravish you until sunrise, but if you could stop doing that striptease for a minute, I'd like to hear more about your doctoral thesis."

[Franconicus]

Excellent analysis, soly!

However, this one is not impressing.

Carmen Kass
As a supermodel, Carmen Kass probably has to deal with a lot of stereotypical assumptions about her intelligence. For example, you probably wouldn’t peg her as the kind of girl who excels at abstract, strategic board games. In fact the only game I know that supermodels excel at involves loads of cocaine, a parrot that can recite lines from “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off” and seventeen buckets of fake semen - but I do keep rather eccentric company. Anyway I digress. Apart from being a model for the likes of Dior, Prada, Gucci and Chanel, Carmen Kass is also the President of the Estonian Chess Association. This isn’t just some meaningless, honourary title because she once touched a chess board and the Estonian Chess Association shat their pants and threw money at her agent - she actually kicks *** at chess, plays in tournaments and allegedly prefers a quiet game of chess indoors with friends as opposed to those clichéd supermodel parrot / fake semen parties.

That she wins doesn not automatically mean that she is intelligent. First of all, chess is not a benchmark of intelligence (hell, even I play it). Second, maybe her male opponents were a bit, err, distracted. If you know what I mean!!

[Husar]

Honestly, physical attraction was already second on my list, after someone who I can actually like. Hey, slow people can still be clever and likeable, and smart people can be jerks. It all depends on the woman.

I also agree.
Intelligence can make people arrogant as well.

[Rodion Romanovich]

Meh, intelligence in a woman is directly proportional to how low-cut bra she wears, 'nuff said

[English assassin]

Gentlemen, I give you Baroness Scotland QC

Read this and weep:

As a barrister, Patricia Scotland not only was the youngest person to take silk since William Pitt the Younger, she was also the first black woman.

She was set to score a similar first when the Tories lined her up to be a high court judge. But before that could happen, the Prime Minster spotted his fellow lawyer’s prodigious talents and appointed her to the House of Lords.

("the youngest person to take silk since William Pitt the Younger", these are probably the most devastating eleven words in the English langauge. And boy, doncha just HATE it when one lot of politicos want to make you a high court judge, but the other lot get in first and make you a Baroness?)

Now, we need small print for the next bit, because frankly this girl doesn't know when to stop

Patricia Scotland has overall responsibility for reform and modernisation of the criminal justice system, to narrow the 'justice gap' and build confidence in the justice system.

Baroness Scotland became Home Office Minister of State for the Criminal Justice System and Law Reform in June 2003, and also spokesperson for the Department of Trade and Industry on women and equality issues in the House of Lords.

Previously she was Parliamentary Secretary at the Lord Chancellor's Department from 2001 to 2003, and Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office from 1999 to 2001. She was also an Alternate UK Government Representative of the European Convention from 2002 to 2003.

After graduating with LLB Hons (London), Patricia Scotland was called to the Bar, Middle Temple, in 1977, received Silk in 1991 and became a Bencher in 1997.

She is a member of the Bar of Antigua and the Commonwealth of Dominica. She is an Honorary Fellow of The Society for Advanced Legal Studies, Wolfson College, Cambridge and of Cardiff University. She has an Honorary Doctorate from the University of Westminster and the University of Buckingham.

Baroness Scotland is a Dame of the Sacred Military Constantinian Order of Saint George. She is a patron of The Margaret Beaufort Institute, GAP, The Frank Longford Charitable Trust and Sponsor of the George Viner Memorial Fund Trust. She is a member of the Thomas More Society and the Lawyers' Christian Fellowship.

She is a member of The All Parliamentary Group on Breast Cancer, The Parliamentary Labour Party Women's Group, the House of Lords All Party Parliamentary London Group, The All Party Parliamentary Group of CAFOD, The All Party Parliamentary Group for Children and the Lords' Prayer Group.

She is a former member of the Bar Public Relations Committee, Race Relations Committee, Professional Conduct Committee, Judicial Studies Board Ethnic Minority Advisory Committee, House of Commons Working Party on Child Abduction, Legal Advisory Panel on the National Consumer Council, the Independent Committee for the Supervision of Standards of Telephone Information Services and the National Advisory Committee on Mentally Disordered Offenders.

In addition, she was formerly one of Her Majesty's Commissioners for Racial Equality, a former Honorary President of the Trinity Hall Law Society, a former Chairman of the ILEA Disciplinary Tribunal, a member of the BBC World Service Consultative Group, Chairman of HMG Caribbean Advisory Group, the Dominican Representative of the Council of The British Commonwealth Ex-Service league and served as a member of the Millennium Commission from 1994-99.

She has specialised in family and public law and has chaired and represented parties in a number of Inquiries relating to Child Abuse, Mental Health and Housing. She was voted Black Woman of the Year (Law) 1992.

She was founder member and former Head of Chambers of 1 Gray's Inn Square.
Baroness Scotland was created a peer as Baroness Scotland of Asthal, of Asthal in the County of Oxfordshire, in 1997 and was raised to the Privy Council in July 2001

Oh, yeah, picture : http://www.gnn.gov.uk/imagelibrary/d...tailsID=141469 OK, she's not quite in Mira Sorvino's class, but she's giving away about 20 years too. And anyway, I still would. Except I'd be way too scared, obv.

[The_Mark]

I also agree.
Intelligence can make people arrogant as well.

No, you are completely wrong. *My* intelligence is so vast that I'm above all arrogance.

Nice women, though the Kass lass doesn't cut it for me. Something in her face says "bitch". Although, it could be the negative cleavage totally unsuitable for that pose.

[Rodion Romanovich]

nvm

[Cowhead418]

I disagree that these women 'deserve' our worship. No one deserves to be worshipped. Society and many men already put women on a pedestal, and we don't need to contribute to it.

[solypsist]

you'll start thinking otherwise once you've started puberty.

I disagree that these women 'deserve' our worship. No one deserves to be worshipped. Society and many men already put women on a pedestal, and we don't need to contribute to it.

[Blodrast]

nice list and commentary, soly.
Some of their achievements are quite impressive indeed. I do hold a small amount of suspicion, though, with respect to personality - I'm nowhere near old enough to say this from personal experience, but, from my limited personal experience , to get really far you do need to pay a price. Most of the time this involves your personality/heart/whatever, you get the point.

But anyway, I'll heartily agree with you that it's a very fine selection of the better half of the human species - prime genetic material !

[Cowhead418]

you'll start thinking otherwise once you've started puberty.

I'm 16, and I'm well past the 'start' of puberty. Fo awhile I did worship women, but then I realized I was in the wrong mindset, and I'm in the process of correcting it. Now, I do not worship women, but that doesn't stop me from worshipping their physical beauty.

[GoreBag]

and smart people can be jerks.

Enter me. I don't know what the big deal is. Woohoo, idolatry.

[Reverend Joe]

I don't worship any women; but I do love them. All of them. Except the "witchy" ones. I even love the ugly women, as long as their nice... just not physically. So why should I worship any of them?

[Rodion Romanovich]

I don't worship any women; but I do love them. All of them. Except the "witchy" ones. I even love the ugly women, as long as their nice... just not physically. So why should I worship any of them?

Well said! Building monuments to the vagina is one thing, but actually worshipping an individual woman IMO seems very sexistic! It's all about penetration, everything else is shallow!

[Csargo]

Nice list Soly.

[Byzantine Prince]

What's the point of drooling over pictures and PhDs?
I would expect better from you Soly, after all I bet you've banged some really awesome chicks. Maybe you just didn't take enough time to explore their intelliegence.

EDIT: Some of the women you mentioned are not really that beautiful.

[LeftEyeNine]

This newly-mother, retired pr0nstar with her nickname Asia Carrera, is a member of MENSA which is the foundation of the most intelligent people throughout the world.

This is some appropriate pic of her:

[Mount Suribachi]

Knew Natalie Portman would be on the list Man, that was a shock, watching The Phantom Menace then finding out how old she actually was......

[Devastatin Dave]

This newly-mother, retired pr0nstar with her nickname Asia Carrera, is a member of MENSA which is the foundation of the most intelligent people throughout the world.

This is some appropriate pic of her:

Many future generations of devdav offspring have given their lives in a gym sock for this lovely, intelligent lady. So she's not only hot and smart, but has kept the world less populated as well.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Quite frankly, making me feel horrendously inadequate is not something I'd want from a girlfriend. I imagine any relationship you would have with someone like that would, out of necessity, be rather unequal. I suppose what I'm saying is that most of the women on your list are so hideously out of my league that they aren't actually that appealling.

Furthermore, graduating from a prestigious university does not necessarily mean you're hugely intelligent.

[Csargo]

Yeah BKS your right

Quite frankly, making me feel horrendously inadequate is not something I'd want from a girlfriend

Thats not something I'de want either or anybody for that matter