Conservative Club XIV

[Aenlic]

Keep your big chimps and baboons as examples, I want the Bonobo like group.

Pfft! Bonobos are too short. We all know what happens to short people. They got nobody, as the song goes.

I'd go with lemurs, they're much cuter, but it would get all confusing when that other primate, Lemur, shows up!

[Divinus Arma]

lol.

[Divinus Arma]

ORDER! ORDER!

*Pounds Gavel*

I hereto forthwithby call this esteemed and holy club to order. Our magnamimous fellow conservative Gawain Of Orkeny is on an extended leave. In his place, I shall cite the bylaws, excuse me, *manlaws* of the Conservative Club:


Thou shalt not mention leftist liberals expect to show their folly to the world yet again.

Liberalism is to be considered a disease, and conservatism its cure.

The intrusion of leftist liberals is to be expected here. Consider them the colorful decorations; do not engage them directly, lest you disrupt the sanctity of our illustrious club.

Spectators are to be expected as well. Respect their presence, but engage them at peril- they may be a leftist liberal in disguise.

When going to the fridge for beer, you are obligated to bring a beer for everyone else.

When using the restroom, you are obligated to stop by the fridge and bring back a beer for everyone else.

Better yet, just restock the cooler when its your turn.

Don't Die.

No Fat Chicks.


All those who agree to the manlaws of the conservative club say "aye" and ye shall be entered into our rolls as a member. Break your sacred vows and ye shall be expelled, forever branded a leftist liberal in the eyes of the membership of this,

The XIV Conservative Club.

[Divinus Arma]

The First Procession, First Chapter, of Conservative Debate for this, The XIV Conservative Club begins as such:

Define what Conservatism means for you and how you came to choose Conservatism over that of Leftist Liberalism.

[Al Khalifah]

I think I already answered that one:

The most important foundation of Conservatism, in my opinion, is not an individual's rights or freedoms but rather the responsibilites imposed on others in order to maintain those rights and possibly also to prevent them being necessary. You might argue that you have the right to have firearms to protect your property which is an extension of the fact you believe you should be able to shoot someone if they tresspass onto your property. Shooting someone is a crime, but because they ignored their responsibility not to invade your private land, you exercised your right to shoot them.
This is the part of Conservatism I actually admire. It places the emphasis on the individual's responsibilty to do what they're supposed to, rather than the World-Gone-Mad attitude of being more concerned with their rights in the event that they do something wrong and with blunt intent. I'm not saying we should violently attack people just for being stupid or errors of judgement, but clearly, if you break into someone's house you are knowingly ignoring your responsbilities to society.

Like I say... I admire the way it treats people as intelligent rational beings who are capable of making decisions for themselves rather than the leftist viewpoint of little children who desperately need the Mother State to feed them and make the tough decisions for them.

[Divinus Arma]

I find the general trend of modern conservatives towards heavy-handed government-enforced moralism to be very disturbing, and counter-productive to the fundamental idea of freedom.

Mr. Gelatinous Cube, my thanks. The XIV Conservative Club shall be sure to debate the merits of religion in public policy in the future.

I admire the way it treats people as intelligent rational beings who are capable of making decisions for themselves rather than the leftist viewpoint of little children who desperately need the Mother State to feed them and make the tough decisions for them.

Does the Honorable Mr. Al Khalifah seek to join our rolls?

[doc_bean]

Leftist Liberalism.[/SIZE][/I][/FONT]

Waidaminute: using less fuel, a depletable resource imported from countries hostile to the US for tons of $$$ is bad ?



Seriously though, conservativism is mostly defined by what it is not: liberalism (the real kind) or socialism (and communism). It's an ideology based on the notion that the good of the many outweighs the good of the few, like communism, but interpreted differently. Perhaps 'the many' is not the right choice of words, it is more about the good of society as an abstract entity, often. It's strongest foundation is tradition, if it worked before it should work now. This often leads to a critical view towards science (like global warming), other lifestyles (homosexuals) and other cultures (like Islam). Since tradition is often tied to a nation conservativism often implies nationalism.


Liberalism, on the other hand, emphasizes personal liberty over almost anything else. It's an ideology (conservativism is much more pragmatic) and therefor not workable as a 'pure' system. With personal liberty also comes the need for personal responsibility, an aspect all too often forgotten by those calling themselves liberals these days. Liberalism is a continuation from the great thinkers of the enlightenment and often considered too intellectual by the masses.

Other left wing groups have called themselves liberals, such as environmentalists. But while a restriction on whaling can still be considered a liberal idea (to avoid extinction, taking responsibility and acknowledging our influence on nature) several other fringe groups defending vegetarianism or trying to ban all hunting are definitely not liberals.

Socialism is another idealogy and in some ways seems opposite to liberalism. The basic idea is that through uniting and working towards a common goal a group can become more than the sum of its individuals. While conservativism emphasizes the duty of a person towards society, socialism often emphasizes the duty of society towards the individual. Like liberalism it needs a pragmatic implementation to work.

[Banquo's Ghost]

*opens the closet door a crack*

Psst, Doc! This is the Conservative Club. Thinking ain't allowed. They just wanna have fun...

Get back in the closet with the rest of us pinkos. We stole their Cheetos

[Aenlic]

When going to the fridge for beer, you are obligated to bring a beer for everyone else.

When using the restroom, you are obligated to stop by the fridge and bring back a beer for everyone else.

Better yet, just restock the cooler when its your turn.

Communist ideology! Sharing the wealth! Sharing the labor! Everyone expected to provide (beer) for the mutual benefit (drunkeness) of the common good! Shame! Boo! Hiss!

[Divinus Arma]

I stocked the fridge gents. Here's a round on me. Go ahead Leftist Liberals, have a beer on the house. Although free, you will, however, as is your custom, be taxed at $5k per bottle in order to pay for crack-whore rehabilitation in Houston.

[Big_John]

don't know no nothing about no crack whores. and you can keep your guinness. but here's a bit of the good stuff for you poor misguided cons. beer transcends all boundaries.

[Al Khalifah]

Is Petrus from the same brewry that makes Hertog Jann?

[Big_John]

i don't believe so. petrus is brouwerij bavik. hertog is it's own brewer, right?

Is Petrus from the same brewry that makes Hertog Jann?

edit: ok, enough with the beer i guess. though it does nothing but help this thread..

[Divinus Arma]

RULES OF ENTRY FOR THE XIV CONSERVATIVE CLUB

1st DECLARATION WET T-SHIRT CONTEST

NO FAT CHICKS.

NO NUDITY.

NO FAT CHICKS.

NUMBER YOUR CONTESTANTS. (Arbitrary is fine, keep it sane please)

NO FAT CHICKS.

ENTRY STOPS AND VOTING BEGINS WHEN THE HONORABLE MR. ECLECTIC DEEMS APPROPRIATE.

NO FAT CHICKS.

ALL CONTESTANT ENTRIES WITH A SPECIAL RELTAIONSHIP TO CONSERVATISM WILL AUTOMATICALLY RECEIVE A FREE VOTE. THIS INCLUDES LINKS TO LIBERAL TOMFOOLERY OR CONSERVATIVE HEROICS.

AND ABOVE ALL: NO FAT CHICKS!!!!


Let the contest Commence.

[Divinus Arma]

Contestant #1:

Nice but not PG-rated.



[/CENTER]

EDIT: I almost forget my free vote! The Case Against Socialism. (One of Many.)

[Banquo's Ghost]

Not being a conservative, I have kept out till now. But I couldn't help observing that the entirety of your platform appears to be alcohol abuse and objectification of women.

[Banquo's Ghost]

My entry:



Not a fat chick, no nudity etc.

And for the special bonus point, Family Values!!!

[doc_bean]

My entry:



Not a fat chick, no nudity etc.

And for the special bonus point, Family Values!!!

Did he just take a piss ?

[Banquo's Ghost]

Did he just take a piss ?

Taking the piss is what conservatism is all about. I think I should get another bonus point.

[Divinus Arma]

Whoah..those are huge! But she's not all that hot.. 5 out of 10!
This is the post that contains inaccurate information

That's a costume. They are plastic in a thin-material shirt. LOL!

[Lemur]

They're not fat, just big-boned.

[Divinus Arma]

Remember. The leftist liberals are nothing more than wallpaper and decorations in our illustrious club.

Fear not.

But where are our fellow Conservatives? HAs the Org really bent this far to the left?

[barocca]

Lemur has violated the fat chick non-proliferation treaty! I put forth a motion to put sanctions on the people of Lemur.

i second the motion

may i also suggest the sanction involve having to flannel bath the ladies in the pics he posted

[solypsist]

for your Conservative edification:

who's making what at the white house

and the 4 most overpaid:
Deborah Nirmala Misir Ethics Advisor $114,688
Erica M. Dornburg Ethics Advisor $100,547
Stuart Baker Director for Lessons Learned $106,641
Melissa M. Carson Director of Fact Checking $46,500

yes, there really is a Lessons Learned dept.

[Divinus Arma]

for your Conservative edification:

who's making what at the white house

and the 4 most overpaid:
Deborah Nirmala Misir Ethics Advisor $114,688
Erica M. Dornburg Ethics Advisor $100,547
Stuart Baker Director for Lessons Learned $106,641
Melissa M. Carson Director of Fact Checking $46,500

yes, there really is a Lessons Learned dept.

And what is your complaint? That the Bush Administration has organized a group of experts who can analyze organizational decision making in mid-to-executive levels for the purpose of improving efficieny? We have this in the military too. Is your problem with the pay? Unless you sit at their desk and do their job, I really don't think you have a leg to stand on. Those uneducated in executive level analysis or management have no understanding of the complexity involved. As a graduate student myself, I thought I knew it all when I had just a high school education. Once I got my BA, I started to really realize that how little I know. Now I realize I don't know squat. The more I learn, the more it occurs to me just how much more there is to learn.

[Vladimir]

for your Conservative edification:

who's making what at the white house

and the 4 most overpaid:
Deborah Nirmala Misir Ethics Advisor $114,688
Erica M. Dornburg Ethics Advisor $100,547
Stuart Baker Director for Lessons Learned $106,641
Melissa M. Carson Director of Fact Checking $46,500

yes, there really is a Lessons Learned dept.

I'm a low level peon in government service and those salaries seem right. I think you're forgetting the cost of living adjustment here. By their pay I'm guessing the first three are in their early to late 40's with several years experience.

How much do members of congress make? They also get the free perks associated with their job. These people are at the top of the government, how much do you think they should make?

Same with DivE, no animosity here. Some of your comments I find wacky but this is good information. It's just the analysis that's off. How does this relate to conservativism?