Does this make me gay????

[Major Robert Dump]

3 part question:

Ok so I'm watching thenature channel and see one of the nasiest things ever. Theres a hippo in a river, and an underwater camera not far behind him, and the hippo starts to spray rocket poop all in and above the water.

Suddenly, thousands upon thousands of hungry little fishies of all shapes and sizes rush for the poop, but they don't stop there, oh no -- they want the source! So thousands of fish are trying desperately to get in the hippo butthole, squirming and flopping around like fish do, all while the hippo continues to spray hippo poop all over the place.

So, hypothetically, I'm on a great African adventure, walking around admiring the nature and shooting at coked-up bandits, and I had to take a hypothetical poop. Then I'm all like "K, theres a river I'll poop there so the bandits don't see me"... while I'm in the river taking my hypothetical poop...
unexpectedly --

thousands and thousands of fish try to swim up my butthole!!!!1111



1. Does this make me gay?

2. What if I knew thousands of fish would try to swim up my butt, but pooped in the river anyway, am I gay now?

3. What if I do this once a year, dressed as Jennifer Lopez?