The Shame of Legio III – a Princeps on trial

[Lucjan]

Servius sits, a look of slight concern across his face as it seems his father has been a bit late..but perhaps his concerns are ill founded. The sound of a very vocal argument resounds through the halls outside the court before the doors creek open, the legionnairres opening them for none other than Manius Aemilius.

"Do not lecture mmeee on how the senate feels! I am part of the senate! Hoot!" Manius screams at the startled legionnairres, who quickly close the door. "And clean up that mess!"

This scene may not have been such a sudden worry to Servius if it had been anybody but his father...but lo and behold, Manius now sat, backwards, atop a donkey, waving a butter knife angrily at the door, which, in his frustration, finds itself flying towards the closed court doors before he dismounts. "Away steed." Manius says, but the donkey just huffs and stands there. His son finds it hard to say anything, simply sitting there, face buried in the palm of one hand, pointing towards the dock for the accused.

Their is a wry grin on the accused one's face..as if he had struck some great victory and was being wrongfully accused. "I suppose you all want me to start then?" Manius says...and his version of oration begins.

"It was midday, me and my men were taking a swim in the river, when the Gauls could be seen coming about in the distance, at first I ignored them, but the rest of the men seemed a bit edgy, so I *hoot!*ed them to bear arms immediately. Unforetunatly, the Gauls noticed us, undoubtadly drawn to my Bathing Legion. Yes..we were a glorious sight, like geese in a pond..yes. Too bad the presence of roman women could not have been felt as well, their armaments perhaps may have turned the Gauls away. But we had armor by the time they arrived at the ford..I don't remember where I found mine, but it fit kind of funny and I don't think I found it in my tent. Blasted legionnairres should keep their hands off other people's armor! But my spear was in the owl where I left it. *hoot!*

By the time everybody was ready half of those blasted Gauls were already taking a swim in our river, armor on and all, I couldn't believe they could put forth such nerve, swimming in our river before they even fought for it! So I ordered a full out charge! The half of the gallic army that was swimming in the river came out to meet us in battle. The infantry held them at bay and my glorious cavalry and I took the charge home! Planted a spear point straight in one of their arse's I did! *hooot!* But before we could run the last of the buggers down the rest of them were back in the river! I ordered the second charge into the manbeasts and I spotted their bug eyed general! So my men and I took charge, assailing his bodyguard left and right with our pointy sticks. We were winning the day until these ungodly beasts rose from the ground behind us, covered in weeds and mud, and dripping wet, their stench scared the horses and as they charged into our rear our mighty steeds took flight. Stayed and fought them I would! I would if I could! *HOOT!* If I could then I would were it not for those who should but could not could! *HOOOT!* It was all his fault! That dammmned beast. *Manius points to the donkey in the center of the court, stands up and makes foul gestures and farty noises at the beast then produces a block of wood from his garb and clocks the beast in the head with it, prompting a rauckus display from the animal before it goes off and sits in the corner.* Running from the stinky twig men! Dare call yourself a might steed...and to think, I almost appointed you my second in command! *Still waving angry fingers at the donkey...he stops for a few seconds, breathes, and sits back down and crosses his arms in a huff, like an angry child.

Then that wry grin returns, that sinister 'I saved the day were it not for you' smile.* The gauls dealt with the swampmen in turn...and then came once again for us. We fought the beasts again but something whacked me in the head and I fell off my horse, next thing I know, when I opened my eyes everybody was gone..that damned PIGMAN *hoot!*, THAT FOOL *hoot!!*, THAT WORTHLESS EXCUSE FOR ROMAN *ho-hoot!*, Publius Laevinius, NEVER *hoot!* showed his face on the battlefield at all! He left my Bathing Legion to die at the hands of that horde! I may as well have killed him in his sleep and assumed control of his Lazy Legion myself! The combined might of a Lazy-Bathing Legion could have been victorious under my command...*HOot!* But no..noo. Nay shall I be given such honor. No..give it to the pigman instead. Leave Manius out by himself in the water. Now..why don't you give me back my legion, whereever you took it, because I know you all took it..when I woke up it was gone, I want it back! And I want a medal too! And where the HELL did you all take my triarii?!?! They had the legionnairry owl! I WANT MY FANCY OWL BACK! *With that Manius slams his fist on the table, crosses his arms, and refuses to say another word without being questioned, other than the occasional hoot.

[econ21]

[SENATE SPEAKER]: {nervous cough} Now that we have heard testimony from Manius, I believe the prosecutor, Augustus Verginius, should prepare any cross-examination questions for the witness ...{soto voce}... and Jupiter help him.

[TinCow]

I have but one question for Senator Manius Aemilius, and that will come at the end of my statement. His testimony is entirely in accordance with my allegations and I shall delve into his roll in this matter further when I present my case in full. Regardless, this man is not the subject of my accusations. His son defends him purely out of regard for the stain his father would inflict upon his own name. That is a trial that I fear he must rightly conduct in the court of public opinion, but it has no place in my accusations on behalf of the Republic.

With regards to Manius Aemilius, there are but two important facts, neither of them in dispute. First, he is mad. I do not believe that this was ever in doubt, but it has been shown here today as clearly as ever. Second, he was merely a Tribune in Legio III Sicilia Aemilia at the time of the defeat at the Massilia Ford and he was not formally responsible for command of the Legion.

So, with that in mind, I ask the Senator to answer one single question:

Did you, at any time prior to or during the battle, disobey an order from Publius Laevinus?

[Dooz]

{Galerius Vatinius}

Objection! Senator Verginius, by your own admission, you have stated that Manius Aemilius is indeed mad. Now you ask him if he has disobeyed orders? Do you truly think a true and good answer will come of this? Something to base a case on? That's rubbish! You overlook the most important fact of this man's hooting tirade. Stenographer, may I have a look? ...Ah, yes.

Blasted legionnairres should keep their hands off other people's armor! But my spear was in the owl where I left it. *hoot!*

They had the legionnairry owl! I WANT MY FANCY OWL BACK!

As you can see Senators, the man refers to our eagle as the "owl", and were it by any circumstance other than his madness, he would have been crucified. However, the point here is that he clearly mentioned that he had his spear lodged in the legionary eagle before the battle! If this is about the honor of Rome, and the pride of the legion and it's eagle, I believe you can clearly see what we are dealing with here.

[Lucjan]

*Manius glares at the prosecutor, a kind of fire in his eyes that insinuates had the man asked him such a question in a place much darker and behind a building, he might not come out of the alley.*

"I do not, not obey! Never have I not obeyed..just because the pigman tells me to do things that don't make sense, doesn't mean I don't do them..no. The pigman tells me to guard the river ford...so I guard the river ford. Go take a see, go take a visit, take a vacation to sunny Massilia, only 300 denarrii and a kick in the bum said the man who drank much rum which upset his tum tum tum *HOOT!*. Have a walk around the ford..senator..our tents still sit there..abandoned because you took my legion. Because the pigman never showed up.. I always obeyed pigman's orders before the battle.. But how do I obey him in battle, if he is not actually there? He was probably off rolling in the mud. Not once did his banner fly near that fight *hoot!*."

*Manius's attention then turns to the rather vocal young senator.* "Not in the fancy owl! Dimwit..you never put the spear in the fancy owl! You pray to the fancy owl! The fancy owl *hoot*s victory..The fancy owl is for worship..it is a icon from the gods, given to the senate, then given to the Bathing Legion from Mars himself. Spear goes in the other owl.."

Servius, then, as his father quiets down, speaks briefly to settle some confusion. "If I may, senators...I had visited my father's encampment outside of Massillia once, not too long before the actual battle in question occurred, and there are, indeed, thirteen seperate objects to which the legion referred to as "the owl". And the legionairy eagle was not, the owl my father had a tendency to embed his spear in. And Senator Verginius..if I may, I defend my father not because of the potential stain this issue may have on my name or my grandfather's name, but because, by no fault of his or my own, whether I do so wish it were so or not, he is my father. And I will not abandon my family in its time of need."

[econ21]

[SENATE SPEAKER]: Has Galerius Vatinius any questions for Manius Aemilius? After those are concluded, the prosecutor has indicated a desire to make his case in full before any further witnesses are produced by the court.

[Dooz]

{Galerius Vatinius}

First, I will make an observation as to make a point about Manius' credibility, then ask my question, although perhaps pointless. Now, it has been confirmed by Manius Aemilius himself and his defender and son, Servius that he apparently has a habit of calling things by different names and misusing words. Keeping that in mind, how much can we take as fact when Senator Aemilius makes statements about Publius Laevinus' absence from the battlefield at the time of battle, or any other statement he might make for that matter? I don't even understand why he should be allowed to be here in the first place. One would think a nation such as Rome would have somewhere to put such people...

In any case, for the sake of the trial I will proceed with my question. Senator Aemilius, when and where was the last time and place you saw or heard from Senator Laevinus, and what were his orders?

[Lucjan]

Manius stares at the boy asking such silly questions and giggles. "I do not misuse words, I use them correctly. I use them quite correctly. The problem is the context. You don't understand the context. When put into context I *hoot!* my words quite correctly. You are like a bird..I see it in your eyes..a bird a bird, you are a bird. You nit and pick and caw at those who are different from you. You are a jay and I am a robin, and so you caw. And I *hoot!*. And so you caw...You would have me put away, but I would have you let astray, let you to the masses, let you to Rome. You would have me put away, but in letting you go free I would have you destroy yourself blue jay! The blue jay would pull it's feathers out. No more flying for the blue jay. *hoot!* The blue jay cannot tolerate what it perceives to be different, and that is the blue jay's flaw. And a temper..do not steal my worm blue jay..the robin bites back. *There is no hoot this time, rather a low, gurgling noise that turns into a watery, gargling laugh.* Too bad were you not so brave, too bad were you not so healthy as a Gaul..or you'd make too a nice owl for my spear. I nice place to put my prizes as I sleep, that the owl you might be if you were a gaul, could keep watch over it in the night..but you are no owl, you are a jay, a jealous, jealous jay."

*Manius's attention suddenly shifts back to the question at hand*.
Last time and place I saw the pigman...was a camp feast at the ford, few days before the battle, I do not know where the pigman marched his legion. I contested the seperation of the legions, but the pigman left anyway, providing me no reason. *Hoot* Pigman gave me two orders though..he said to guard the ford and do not leave the ford for any reason...this I did..this I did, and you took my legion from me for it! Pigman also told me to go get Sober, I looked as hard as I could, two times, but no man in my camp went by the name of Sober, so I stopped looking. *hoot!*