Tongue-in-cheek take on MTW

[Kaidonni]

Okay, seeing as how the guys over in the M2TW Citadel are having a laugh about M2TW, I thought we could do the same for MTW (don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the game, just that it'd be fun to do some tongue-in-cheek humour).

I'll start it rolling...on a fictional king...

-Influence: 4 - 'Most nations recognise you as a power in the world of politics, but usually 'politely' ignore your suggestions. Perhaps a more forceful foreign policy is required, such as 'politely' invading said nations.'
-Piety: 0 - 'At a loss for words because if anyone utters anything about this, he'll probably be burnt at the stake.'
-Dread: 0 - 'A clown has more dread than this man.'
-Command: 5 - 'This man likes to think he's a great general, but the only reason why most of his enemy fear his banner on the field of battle is because it has his mug painted on it. Nevertheless, he wins most battles because of this.'
-Acumen: 1 - 'A peasant has more brains than this man. The relative closeness of his cousins explains this, though.'