Mafia III: Return of the Mafia [Concluded]

[GeneralHankerchief]

Day breaks in the Frontroom. All is quiet. For the last mafioso had decided that it would be so. He sat in his lab, typing furiously at a keyboard. The final preparations were being made.

All day he typed, not caring what the other inhabitants of the Frontroom were up to. They would soon die, anyway. He only stopped working twice – once to get lunch, once a bit later on to deposit the remnants of that lunch into the sewage system. It was a very efficient procedure, mimicking the very efficient killer who used the procedure.

Finally, a little before sunset, the mafioso pressed the last key and turned his computer off. He made his way to the town square, where Chief of Police Beirut instructed the villagers to gather if nobody had been killed.

Once everybody (four people) was present, Beirut started to speak from the execution platform.

“Gentlemen,” he began, “nobody has been killed. It appears that the mafia are finally- finally…”

Someone had bounded up the steps and knocked Beirut out of the way. With a triumphant expression on his face, he began speaking. Dazed, Beirut looked up and saw who it was…

…

…

…Lemur.

“Well, how we all doing this evening?” Lemur shouted to the other three with an evil look on his face. Instantly they looked terrified.

“Apparently, not so hot, judging by all your faces. What’s the matter, did you hear some bad news?”

Lemur suddenly turned serious.

“Well, it’s about to get a lot worse. Because guess what? You didn’t kill me. Even when you had all the chances in the world; even when I was acting like an idiot; even when you were one vote away from saving everything…”

Evil_Maniac_From_Mars looked down in shame.

“You still didn’t kill me. You insulted me, oh yes, there was plenty of that, but no lynching for the Lemur! I guess you needed a whipping boy. Well, it doesn’t matter in any case because now I’m going to kill you all.”

AggonyDuck, dazed, finally spoke up. “Wait a minute, how did you do all this?!”

Lemur laughed. “What a pathetic attempt to extend your miserable lives. But very well, I’ll talk. After all, you don’t get any glory when there’s nobody around to give you it.

“I knew right away that old Sigurd Fafnesbane was on my case, snooping around. So I got rid of him first, with poison gas. Then my master plan began. First I acquired money, several key items, and whereabouts to make a factory. Killing all you weaklings in the process. I was delighted when The Spartan confessed to being a mafioso – it bought time for me. I didn’t have to research any more silly weapons and say that ridiculous word “Arrivederci” for a while.”

Now Wonderland asked a question. “Wait a minute, so there was no arrivederci killer?”

“No, it was all me. Just poor, lonely, Lemur. Well, not anymore. See, the reason that nobody was killed today was because I was too busy. Busy putting the finishing touches on my master plan.

Beirut knew he had one last chance. “There won’t be a master plan!” he roared, gun out, lunging for Lemur.

But Lemur was too quick, pressing a button. Out of nowhere several small, brown, long-tailed, big-eyed critters came and swarmed the beloved Police Chief while his citizens watched in horror. In a matter of seconds Beirut had completely disappeared.

“Little, robotic lemurs!” their namesake crowed. “Aren’t they beautiful? And the best part is they are impervious to anything that might harm them – even nuclear weapons. Oh, I forgot to mention – they multiply every hour.

“So, this world will become Lemurland while I rebuild civilization my own way in the stars. For you see, I’ve built a space station. And up there waiting for me are my wife, little lemurs, and several of the best people from the Babe Thread. So, I’ll say it one more time…

“Arrivederci, gentlemen.”

The inhabitants of the Frontroom watched in silence as Lemur strapped on a jetpack and flew off into the distance, cackling madly. Before they were destroyed by the creatures they saw a rocket flying into space. The mafia had succeeded.

Here is the final status list:

Still alive:
Lemur

Wrath of God:
Ianofsmeg16
Kralizec
diablodelmar
littlelostboy
Csar
Kagemusha
Stormcrow
Alexander the Pretty Good

Killed:
Sigurd Fafnesbane
discovery1
UltraWar
Zalmoxis
Tiberius
Silver Rusher
Sasaki Kojiro
B_Ray
Divinus Arma
Orb
Pannonian
Ice
Drisos
Cowhead418
Peasant Phill
Hiji
Crazed Rabbit
SSNeoperestroika
AggonyDuck
Evil_Maniac_From_Mars
Wonderland

Executed:
Banquo's Ghost
Destroyer of Hope
The Spartan
Uesugi Kenshin
Ignoramus
Divine Wind
Reenk Roink
Gertgregoor
Kommodus

Result:

“HEY, WAIT A MINUTE! EVERYTHING FREEZE!!!”

Everything froze. The little Lemurs had not finished killing their victims yet. It was the voice of God/General Hankerchief.

“OKAY, I’VE HAD MY FUN. WERE YOU FOOLED? ANYWAY, HERE’S THE REAL ENDING TO ALL OF THIS.”