Family comes first

[edyzmedieval]

At first it might seem a strange thread, but some of you guys might like it, although I do admit, it's a bit weird. Read on anyhow.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

It started with the movie Click(comedy with Adam Sandler) that I have just seen today. The guy gets and universal remote and does everything with it and such, but it starts to mess up his life. He fast forwards to every big promotion he gets from his boss. He loses his superb wife(interpreted by Kate Beckinsale - lovely and charming...), he gets to 400 pounds, his dog dies, his kids grow up, his father dies and he wasn't at the funeral. All ends with him in the hospital, and his grown up son says he cancelled his honey moon to go to Miami, because of an important project. Michael(Adam Sandler) gets of his bed, and follows his son out of the hospital, in the middle of a thunderstorm, where he dies, not before he says to his son: "Family comes first."

Anyhow, back to the point. I know it doesn't apply to me, but I sometimes see my dad coming from work grumpy and grouchy and he doesn't want to talk to anybody.

This brings me to the question. Have you guys(especially the married guys) have these sorts of moments, when you think work counts, and you neglect your family and someitmes get arguing in the family and such?

[Strike For The South]

Well Your Dad my Dad there Dads have a responsibilty to provide the best for the family now that dosent mean they should neglect the family for other things but you do have to look at it like that. Go thank your dad for the electricity itll make his day

"Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a Dad"

[edyzmedieval]

Yeah, I know that Davy Crockett.

We all thank him for that, but sometimes, he needs to talk to the family more. I hope I won't be in this situation.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Dangit man, put the movie plot in spoiler tags!

Gah.

Crazed Rabbit

[The Spartan (Returns)]

totally yes.

btw you should put spoilers!

[Papewaio]

So what is your Dad's hobby?
What does he do to relax?
Does he get any exercise?

In short does he get an oppourtunity to unwind from work?

[doc_bean]

It happens to all of us. Work tends to be a lot harder (and more) than school. In addition to Pape's questions: what kind of job does he do ?

If he works 10 hours (or more) he's bound to be exhausted.
If he has a lot of meetings he's bound to be frustrated, especially if he is there representing the interest of other people (I have a friend working in the national 'farmer's union', some things really get under his skin)
If he works shifts his bad sleeping habits will leave him grouchy.
....


In short, work isn't always fun, it's what people have to do. Be nice to your dad. If you want to talk to him after work don't start about school or things only concerning you. Don't ask him how his day was, there's probably a reason he isn't too happy. Basically, start the conversation with :"Can I get you a beer, dad ?".

[edyzmedieval]

Car business. Cars, cars, cars, auto parts.... That's why I love cars too.

Yeah, my dad gets some exercise(tennis 3 times a week, at 7 in the morning ), and he has some hobbies too. Travelling, he loves that.

He works more than 10 hours a day...
And I only talk to him at 1 in the morning, but I get to talk to him alot.

What about your dads? Are they somehow the same to my dad?

[doc_bean]

Mine retired (at 52) over 10 years ago...

Be glad yours is still working

[English assassin]

What about your dads? Are they somehow the same to my dad?

I am a dad. And on behalf of all dads everywhere can I please make a plea NOT to try to talk to us for the first 20 mins-1/2 hour after we get in from work? After that we will be only too pleased to hear that next door's cat sicked up a hairball again or to express an opinion on whether we should get new towels and if so in precisely what shade of blue, and generally to hear about and comment on all the other trials and triumphs of the day. Just give us 20 minutes peace first, OK?

Seriously, if they could only teach this to girls in school the divorce rate would fall by about 50%. If the girls could learn not to interrupt the evening news (especially with endless questions about new towels) we could more or less abolish divorce altogether.

[Husar]

Mine retired (at 52) over 10 years ago...

Be glad yours is still working

Mine also retired last year, well, when he was still working he was often upset because his bosses were all nutheads(the company going bankrupt shortly after my dad left proves this ).
You may really try to, erm, kinda like, ahem, be his sunshine. You know, he should be happy to see you. Make him laugh, try to talk about positive things, support him.

[Duke of Gloucester]

I am a dad. And on behalf of all dads everywhere can I please make a plea NOT to try to talk to us for the first 20 mins-1/2 hour after we get in from work? After that we will be only too pleased to hear that next door's cat sicked up a hairball again or to express an opinion on whether we should get new towels and if so in precisely what shade of blue, and generally to hear about and comment on all the other trials and triumphs of the day. Just give us 20 minutes peace first, OK?

My wife has a rule ('cause Mums work too). She gets home before me so she is the one who is more likely to receive such interersting news. Her rule is:
"Don't tell me anything until I have finished my first cup of coffee" A good rule too. I have adopted it in case I arrive home and she is halfway through her coffee and I end up first in the firing line.

[edyzmedieval]

Thanks for the tips EA. Kinda same with my dad too, but he takes about 20-30 minutes. A shower, dinner and a beer and he's back to normal.

[English assassin]

Yeah I didn't want to mention a beer for fear of sounding like Homer Simpson, but if you take the Duchess of Gloucester's "first cup of coffee" rule and substitute "bottle of beer", you're there.

[edyzmedieval]

You got me the exact "Get-back-to-normal" Harry Potter style potion.

By the way, aren't your wives complaining about the fact that you sometimes ignore them because of the work?

And possibly the Org?

[Ser Clegane]

By the way, aren't your wives complaining about the fact that you sometimes ignore them because of the work?

No (she knows that I only do long hours if it is not avoidable )

And possibly the Org?

ehh ... uhm ... next question please

[Lemur]

As another dad, I'd like to throw out a tip. There's nothing more boring than hearing someone complain about work. So don't.

I make it a rule to never talk about work unless it's something interesting or funny. For whatever reason, this works for me, and keeps me positive and fresh for la familia.

At this point in time, it's useless to ask my family to observe a 20 or 30 minute rule. I get tackled the minute I walk in the door.

[Mount Suribachi]

I am a dad. And on behalf of all dads everywhere can I please make a plea NOT to try to talk to us for the first 20 mins-1/2 hour after we get in from work? After that we will be only too pleased to hear that next door's cat sicked up a hairball again or to express an opinion on whether we should get new towels and if so in precisely what shade of blue, and generally to hear about and comment on all the other trials and triumphs of the day. Just give us 20 minutes peace first, OK?

Seriously, if they could only teach this to girls in school the divorce rate would fall by about 50%. If the girls could learn not to interrupt the evening news (especially with endless questions about new towels) we could more or less abolish divorce altogether.

Indeed. I have no intrest in hearing every single word said to and by my wife that day as soon as I walk in the door.

My 2 year old is very zealous for my attention. If I'm on the PC he will come and grab me by the hand and pull me away or climb onto my lap with a Postman Pat book. If the cat is sat on my lap he will push her off and climb on in her place.

[IrishArmenian]

My da was an oddly cheery man. Of course, in my family, like Lemur, we never discussed work unless A)Something Funny or Good happened B) A tragedy (happens more in the army). My da was also an Irish drinking man, so I made sure there was a bottle of stout and a glass wating for him. That was not only a nice thing to do but he would be kinder to me, resulting in less beetings from my brothers

[English assassin]

My 2 year old is very zealous for my attention. If I'm on the PC he will come and grab me by the hand and pull me away or climb onto my lap with a Postman Pat book. If the cat is sat on my lap he will push her off and climb on in her place.

Wait til he works out the way to really grab your attention is to head for the power button...

Oh, and fair play to the lemur, work talk is usually boring. If I'm asked about work I usually refuse to answer on the grounds anythign remotely interesting is confidential.

Irish Armenian, I'm confused, was your dad an actual Irishman, and lived in Armenia? Must be quite a story how that came about, is it something you fell like telling?

No offence meant if its private or personal or anything like that.

[IrishArmenian]

Yes, he was on a trip to Israel, flew into Greece, had to take a boat to Turkey, then was supposed to haul arse in a car to Israel and had to make a stop here. He met me mum and the rest is history littered with children(15).
This is basically the summary of 1-2 hours of drunken rambling from him.

[Mount Suribachi]

Wait til he works out the way to really grab your attention is to head for the power button...

*panics*

[Husar]

Some of you may enjoy this article from SimHQ.

[Papewaio]

He met me mum and the rest is history littered with children(15).

15 children? Your dad liked Rugby or was going for a Football team, a reserve, two linesman and a ref in one family?

So are you and the rest of your siblings planning on having 15 kids... your dad would then have 225 grandchildren... so every 3 days he would have to attend two grandchildrens birthdays.

My family of four was large by NZ standards.

[Strike For The South]

I have a family of 8

[Redleg]

When I come home off of shift work my family is normally all asleep - so I wake up when the wife gets ready for work and the kid gets ready for school.

And I attempt to spend some time with them on the week-end.

[lars573]

My family of four was large by NZ standards.

I have a family of 8

Counting parents or not? Counting parents I have a family of 5. Would have been 6 if dad had more gianful employment 20 years ago.

Also my maternal grandmother has 9 kids (from 3 different men 2 of whom were her husbands, long story can't go into it). This leads you to 25-30 grandchildren. Ranging in age from 50's (my mom has a nephew that is a year or two older than her, and she's 50) to well my sister is 21. Also in mom's family there is a large prepensity for popping out the first kid in your late teens.

[Strike For The South]

Well 2 parents 6 kids. Im the oldest. My mum has 11 borthers and sisters (divorce/fuse) My dad has 7 (all blood) I have 35 aunts and uncles and 43 cousins. Beat try to I dare you

[lars573]

Do you know what they all look like? I was non-specific about the amount of granchildren cause I don't know most of them (appearance or personality). Don't know most of moms sibling either. We live in different provinces (Nova Scotia and New Brunswick). But it's a couple hours drive. There all practically strangers to me.

[Strike For The South]

Well I didnt until my trip to Massachustes this summer now there all commited to the memory. There all first cousins.