The plot is interesting and the description good, but like you said, some sections were unclear. Just out of interest: what is the relation with the first paragraph? Is it to set the scene or has it another purpose?
Re: Pax Infinitum
The plot is interesting and the description good, but like you said, some sections were unclear. Just out of interest: what is the relation with the first paragraph? Is it to set the scene or has it another purpose?
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Re: Pax Infinitum
In a way it's to set the scene but on another level it's my reaction to the task requirement that the opening paragraph grab the readers' attention. It definitely coudl have been made better if it was longer, but i was way over the word limit as it was so i didn't want to go there :P
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