Armor of God Pyjamas

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

"Alright, you make a left on Moreland and ask for a chick named Gina, she's a real toe curler. Don't forget to tell her the J-Dog sent ya"

Well, no-one's going to top that, let's be honest. I just spat pepsi all over myself.

[IrishArmenian]

How come they have to be the English Flag? Why couldn't they look any different. Obviously aimed at the English Football fans or Episcopalians. Doesn't God say not to advertise your "Christian-ness"? Despite being Christian, I do not think this was a good idea and this thread has become hijacked. Damm hijackers!

[Lemur]

As the thread starter, I would like to officially sanction any thread hijacking and derailing, so long as it's in the cause of humor and/or silliness.

[Duke John]

How come they have to be the English Flag? Why couldn't they look any different. Obviously aimed at the English Football fans or Episcopalians.

It's the cross of St. George and it has a lot more history to it than being used by English football supporters.

[Divinus Arma]

[Divinus Arma]

[rory_20_uk]

OK, call me a cynic regarding the pictures, but if he's here with us always, where's the ones of women in the shower with Jesus peaking over the top?

I constantly have these [utterly pointless] conversations with my girlfriend who will glibly say that God is always with us. I then point out that the sick b*****d seems to be there when one hell of a lot of pain and suffering occurs but doesn't lift a finger. Similarly with these pictures - why not have Jesus pushing the finger of a man holding a gun, or tripping an old lady down the stairs?

"When belief is in, the brain is out"

[Vladimir]

OK, call me a cynic regarding the pictures, but if he's here with us always, where's the ones of women in the shower with Jesus peaking over the top?

I constantly have these [utterly pointless] conversations with my girlfriend who will glibly say that God is always with us. I then point out that the sick b*****d seems to be there when one hell of a lot of pain and suffering occurs but doesn't lift a finger. Similarly with these pictures - why not have Jesus pushing the finger of a man holding a gun, or tripping an old lady down the stairs?

"When belief is in, the brain is out"

Wow. What a way to piss on a parade. Kinda takes the humor out of a thread doesn't it?

[yesdachi]

...God is always with us.

Maybe sometimes we just dont seek him out.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects.

When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.

"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving a God who would al low all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me."

"Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him! . That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

[rory_20_uk]

Erm, barbers are not omnipresent or omnipotent. As such the argument is rather poor.

Much of the pain and suffering is because of people turning to god. Of course the usual caveat is that they are not turning to God in the right way. Then God is not helping those who try to find him and in the course of that are causing pain.

Just like patients in hospital: when something goes well they thank God, when something goes wrong they complain to the doctors.

We did the thing that went right. Free will and all that. The massive heart attack that no one expected is in God's domain: thank us when things go right, blame god when the unexpected goes wrong. Miracles can be bad as well as good.

[yesdachi]

Erm, barbers are not omnipresent or omnipotent. As such the argument is rather poor.

True enough, but I thought it was an interesting response to the common question.
I actually received it in an e-mail from a churchy relative just before reading your post.

[English assassin]

Actually, if you allow free will (an unfashionable philosphical position, I think), I thought yesdachi's story was quite good as these things go.

Oh and Rory, while we are doing stories here's an old one for you: What's the difference between a cardiac surgeon and God?

God doesn't think he's a cardiac surgeon...

[Divinus Arma]

God doesn't interfere with free will. He does his miracles through US. The surgeon does a bypass, the firefighter saves a life, the soldier protects his family, the businessman keeps people employed, the coach builds team spirit and character, the mom loves her kids. Every task we do can be done for the Lord or it can be done for ourselves. But this does not mean the two are mutually exclusive. I do things for me and to please God.

Rather then saying "Jesus is with all of us" I would rather say, "We all have a little Jesus in us" (no funny ideas you sickos). I'm no christian, my point is only that we each have the potential to do God's work and live our lives for him. We all have the ability to be our own savior. Our only purpose on this planet is for God's pleasure- we are mini versions of him, capable of doing His will or doing our own. I can't speak for everyone else, but I would point out that doing good feels right for a reason. And doing evil feels horrible not because of our upbringing, but because it is against our own purpose. People continually do evil because they have accepted evil as part of their life.

As for natural events: God operates within his own laws of science. Weather events and such are what help keep this planet, our oversized aquarium, working smoothly. We have waves to surf, mountains to climb, forests to explore, and sky to dive. In order for us to have any of it, there must be storms, avalanches, and fires. If you want to blame God for natural disasters then be equally pissed off at gravity and oxygen. He knows this crap is going to kill alot of us, but by followinghis will we may eventually have further rememedies to protect or prevent death and injury from these events. We can desalt ocean water, I am sure we can one day have better tsunami warnings and corresponding shelter capabilities.


Besides: If there is no God, you can never proof it since it would be a universal negative.


Now can we please get back on track making fun of religion?

[kataphraktoi]

Lol, that kind of stuff is old news in Jesus-land.

Even as a Christian, there is only so much corny-factor I can take.

Anyone seen those Christian shirts with Jesus in Terminator glasses saying:
"I'll be back"...

I constantly have these [utterly pointless] conversations with my girlfriend who will glibly say that God is always with us. I then point out that the sick b*****d seems to be there when one hell of a lot of pain and suffering occurs but doesn't lift a finger. Similarly with these pictures - why not have Jesus pushing the finger of a man holding a gun, or tripping an old lady down the stairs?

Maybe its time for humans to take responsibility for the actions with their GOd-given free willl then....

[rory_20_uk]

Maybe its time for humans to take responsibility for the actions with their GOd-given free willl then....

Yeah, then you get into "The Bible was written by men - with free will - yet is the last word and work in Christianity". All other material that was removed or not cannonised was chosen by man with his free will... oh, except that this was a faultless process with no errors whatsoever (as there have been few revisions).

Free will appears to be used to excuse God from everything in the world that is bad whist is not addressed in relation to such things as the succession of Popes, religious pronouncements or even holy scriptures.

If free will is taken, there is no certainty of anything that is written by men over time. So people are then following the altering egos of powerful men. Whether God was present at some point becomes less and less easy to discern.

[Patriarch of Constantinople]

Anyone seen those Christian shirts with Jesus in Terminator glasses saying:
"I'll be back"...

No but i have seen bobblehead jesus