In Times of War You Know You're Screwed When...

[Raz]

... your archers run out of ammo and start firing body bits of fallen comrades.

(Keep it going... )

[Sir Chauncy]

... the most powerful thing in your amoury is strong language and the smell of the food that went off last week.

[Raz]

Yeah, that's the spirit.

... when you lead the charge against the enemy and you look back and only your personal guard is following you.

[Moros]

...when you're knights meet Bazooka troops.

[Conradus]

you're besieging a city with only horsemen and come to the conclusion that your riders can't dismount

or if it doesn't have to be RTW :p

... when you have the best fortress in the world only to notice you've forgotten to shut the backdoor.

[Silver Rusher]

...your sacred band is refusing to come out of the camp because the other soldiers are being homophobic.

[Andres]

you realise you mistakingly took a sleeping pill instead of

[Avicenna]

... when you're facing an angry lumberjack with his big axe.

[GodWillsIt]

... when you lead the charge against the enemy and you look back and only your personal guard is following you.

ah, the famous French charge

[Don Corleone]

.... you keep asking yourself 'where are their cavalry... where are their cavalry'... and a plume of dust behind you fills you with the cold dreadful realization....

[Orb]

Yeah, that's the spirit.

... when you lead the charge against the enemy and you look back and only your personal guard is following you.

I would have thought it was when you lead the charge against the enemy and look back to find that even your personal guard isn't following you.

[Scurvy]

everyone else runs away but you....

[Matador]

you find out to late that your second in command is afraid of large crowds.

[Raz]

.... when your armour manufacture calls for a product recall.

.... when you just remembered that you didn't pay your army two weeks ago.

.... when, due to financial cutbacks, you are forced to eat peasants whilst campaigning.

.... when your army of elephants go by a mouse hole.

[The Spartan (Returns)]

you are the only one yelling and grunting when fighting....

[Sir Chauncy]

... when despite having the shiniest breast plates and the stabiest swords the "elite kings cavalry" are losing against a unit of cockroaches with bad breath.

[Divine Wind]

....from the woods you hear the sacred words....

Niii! Niiii!

[Lurker on the Threshold]

When the only sound from your calvalry charge is your own horses hooves.

[Orb]

When your elephants turn around...

[The Stranger]

when you find out the peace treaty was signed a day ago and you just hired an angry band of barbarian merc's and you just happen to be the only rich roman around

[Snite]

Due to miscommunication your guns are taken away and you're told to charge the enemies artillery.


Snite

Forward the six hundred

[The Spartan (Returns)]

welcome Snite!

[Andres]

the general says: "Well, we forgot to bring the elephants, but I've got this elephant outfit here that will just fit YOU"

[Alexios]

… you're outnumbered by the Germans 3 to 1, and the German King offers his 'lovely' daughter, Princess 'BiggenHipsen' to you in holy matrimony as a way to avert the battle.
("Uhhhh... I'd rather you just stick me with your sword.")

[Spart]

The only defense you have is to make your lance weilding cavalry charge against Panzers steamrolling their way accross your border

[Matador]

The master of your supply wagons says "Armour! What armour?"

[Matador]

Your charging the enemy line and the only thought in your head is Did I remember to put out the cook fire in my tent this morning?

[Samurai Waki]

... when your soldiers forget which part of the spear is the pointy end

[Raz]

.... when you discover that the horses can't handle weight.

.... when the senate finds out you've been sleeping with his wife.

.... when the blacksmith says that the armour is supposed to do that.

.... when you read the book on battles and it only explains the use of scare tactics.

.... when the Pope decides to Crusade 'through' your land.

[Somebody Else]

...when your air support has USAF scrawled on it.

...when enemy air support has USAF scrawled on it. (well, they do kinda level everything...)

...when you've just been ordered to retreat from Kabul.

...your general introduces himself as Publius Quinctilius Varus.