LEN Teh Footy God's Footballodium

[scotchedpommes]

Don't suppose it's any secret now who really masterminded Bolton's domination of Arsenal.

[Louis VI the Fat]

ridiculous injuries:

Stoke City's Liam Lawrence is an injury doubt for his side's weekend meeting with Portsmouth after tripping over his pet dog. The former Sunderland winger suffered the bizarre injury to his ankle this morning, leaving the Potters manager Tony Pulis with a potential selection headache for Sunday's fixture.

"He has stepped over his dog on the stairs and his ankle just gave way and he went over on it," said Pulis. "The initial scan has shown no break but we have sent him back for another x-ray to make sure.

"We don't know how serious it is at the moment, he may be okay for Portsmouth, but then again he may not be fit. We will have to wait and see."

Football's most ridiculous injuries
• Lawrence is not alone in suffering at the paws of a mutt. Chic Brodie's career came to an abrupt end in October 1970 when the Brentford goalkeeper collided with a sheepdog that had run on to the pitch, shattering a kneecap. "The dog might have been a small one, but it just happened to be a solid one," he said. The former Barnsley midfielder Darren Barnard, however, was sidelined for five months with a torn knee ligament after he slipped in a puddle of his puppy's urine on the kitchen floor.

• The Everton goalkeeper Richard Wright was ruled out of an FA Cup fourth-round replay at Chelsea after twisting his ankle by falling over a sign warning him not to practice in the goalmouth during the pre-match warm-up. He also damaged his shoulder by falling through a loft as he was trying to pack away his suitcases. Wright's former Ipswich team-mate Kieron Dyer, then at Newcastle, damaged his left eye when he collided with a pole in training.

• During his spell at Leeds United, the England defender Rio Ferdinand picked up a tendon strain in his knee after leaving his leg propped on a coffee table for too long while watching television. Ferdinand's England colleague David James also suffered at the hands of the TV when he pulled a muscle in his back when reaching for the remote control. James also tweaked his shoulder while attempting to land a carp while fishing.

• The then Kidderminster captain Sean Flynn broke his nose, bust his lip and bruised his toes after tripping over his son's toy cars. But a real car accounted for the toy-sized Alan Wright, who strained his knee by stretching to reach the accelerator in his new Ferrari. He subsequently swapped the sports car for a Rover 416. The former Leeds and Blackburn midfielder David Batty injured his Achilles tendon when he was run over by his toddler on a tricycle.

• In 1993 the goalkeeper Dave Beasant dropped a bottle of salad cream on his foot, severing the tendon in his big toe and keeping him out of action for eight weeks. Similarly, the Spain goalkeeper Santiago Canizares missed the 2002 World Cup after accidentally shattering a bottle of aftershave in his hotel sink. A piece of glass fell on his foot, severing a tendon in his big toe.

• In 1975 the Manchester United goalkeeper Alex Stepney dislocated his jaw while shouting at his defenders during a match against Birmingham. Meanwhile England's Alan Mullery missed the 1964 tour of South America after injuring his back while brushing his teeth - not a problem for the American international Kasey Keller, who knocked out his front teeth while pulling his golf clubs out of the boot of his car.

• The Arsenal striker Charlie George cut off his toe with a lawnmower, but the then-Aston Villa forward Darius Vassell missed several games after he drilled through his toe nail with a home power drill thinking it would relieve the pressure on a swollen toe. It developed an infection that required medical attention.

• And finally, the Norway defender Svein Grondalen had to withdraw from an international during the 1970s after colliding with a moose while out jogging.

'In 1975 the Manchester United goalkeeper Alex Stepney dislocated his jaw while shouting at his defenders during a match against Birmingham.'

This one had me in hysterics.

[Rhyfelwyr]

GROUP E
FT AaB 0-3 Man Utd
FT Villarreal 1-0 Celtic

GROUP F
FT Bayern Munich 1-1 Lyon
FT Fiorentina 0-0 Steaua Bucuresti

GROUP G
FT Arsenal 4-0 FC Porto
FT Fenerbahce 0-0 Dynamo Kiev

GROUP H
FT BATE Borisov 2-2 Juventus
FT Zenit St Petersburg 1-2 Real Madrid


No surprises in group E, take that Tims! Good results away for Lyon and Steaua in Group F. Arsenal are stylish as ever, that's quite an impressive result. Also go BATE Borisov!

[Ferret]

OMG, I can't believe Betis are doing so terribly this season, we haven't even won a game yet!

[scotchedpommes]

Given that Bayern are having their worst start to a season for over 30 years, I'd say Lyon must surely
feel they've missed a real opportunity there. If Werder can put five past them, the likes of Lyon should
at least be looking to give them a significant kicking while they're down.

[naut]

Edit:

[scotchedpommes]

The only problem I have with Villarreal- besides their chosen colours, [and it is a minor gripe, yes] is
that the place itself is little more than a bump in the road. Fair enough, they manage to generate
a fine atmosphere in a good stadium, but they shouldn't be winning a major European league. If they do,
yes, I would say it's a fantastic achievement by the players and a good coach, though I would think it
more fitting should Valencia or Atlético win it. [And even then that's only because Rayo aren't there to
get it done, natch.]

[Rhyfelwyr]

Oh well we all know Aberdeen's out there in the middle of nowhere in Teuchterland. Who's the neareset rivals to Aberdeen, Banks O'Dee?

[Louis VI the Fat]

The ardent reader of .org footy threads will be familiar with my love for Italian football. Not wanting to bore you all with an elaborate account of last night's events, let me just say that Louis had a wonderful evening of watching Bordeaux lose away 1-0 lead to some splendid Italian Comedia Dell'Arte.

That is, a red card after a macaroni came crashing down to earth, his skull fractured and his leg broken in six places, crying for mama, and blood gushing out of his open wounds.

Or so he made the world believe. Replays showed he was never even touched. Why oh why does God hate me? Will the pain and frustration never end?

[scotchedpommes]

Thought this worth a post for those of you who haven't caught it yet.


Joe Kinnear's first official press conference:

Joe Kinnear: Which one is Simon Bird [Daily Mirror's north-east football writer]?

Simon Bird: Me.

JK: You're a ****.

SB: Thank you.

A lesson in how to establish good relations with the press if ever there was one. [Colourful language
and an overall terrible performance throughout.]

[naut]

Edit:

[Rhyfelwyr]

Found this looking at PES stuff, there's some hilarious bugs there.

How to defend against a penalty

[scotchedpommes]

On the subject of aimless redirection of graphical sprites across fake pitches; any of you lot in
possession of enough free time to be killing a significant amount on FM2009 in the near future?
I see there's supposed to be a press conference feature implemented. I can only hope they're
frantically making last-minute code alterations to allow for a Kinnear approach.

[Sublime effort from the wee McGinn, by the way.]

[InsaneApache]

Not to mention Spurs and the Toon being hardcoded to get relegated.

[Rhyfelwyr]

Well this is a gaming site after all.

I can't wait for the FM2009 demo, hopefully I'll have more success with Dumbarton than I did last time...

[Craterus]

On the subject of aimless redirection of graphical sprites across fake pitches; any of you lot in possession of enough free time to be killing a significant amount on FM2009 in the near future?
I see there's supposed to be a press conference feature implemented. I can only hope they're
frantically making last-minute code alterations to allow for a Kinnear approach.

Can't wait. New thread in the Arena soon, no doubt.

[naut]

Edit:

[Louis VI the Fat]

Haha, reminds me of a glitch in FIFA 08 for Wii. When playing 2 player, player one's team sometimes disappears.

That's so funny. I had the EXACT same experience!

I was playing Euro 2008, and all of a sudden the entire French team dissapeared after previously having been replaced by 11 of the world's biggest bunch of sorry, sulking sods.

[edyzmedieval]

On the subject of aimless redirection of graphical sprites across fake pitches; any of you lot in
possession of enough free time to be killing a significant amount on FM2009 in the near future?
I see there's supposed to be a press conference feature implemented. I can only hope they're
frantically making last-minute code alterations to allow for a Kinnear approach.

[Sublime effort from the wee McGinn, by the way.]

The entire month of November is booked for me. FM2009 will be my girl for that month.

[Rhyfelwyr]

Any thoughts on the upcoming South Africa 2010 qualifiers?

I'm a bit nervous about Scotland on Saturday. In fact I'm really quite concerned its all going to fall apart...

[naut]

Edit:

[scotchedpommes]

Any thoughts on the upcoming South Africa 2010 qualifiers?

I'm a bit nervous about Scotland on Saturday. In fact I'm really quite concerned its all going to fall apart...

Well, last time we had the Noggies [qualifiers in 2004/5] they beat us at home and we had a flukey win
in Oslo. I'd say we have no-one in the team at present who can deal with Carew, and I can see them
getting an early goal [simply by pressuring us with long balls], which would all but kill us off.

The Kazakhs are set to play a young side against England, and shouldn't realistically pose too much of a
threat beyond enthusiasm, but the game in Belarus should be quite difficult.

[Rhyfelwyr]

I heard Kazakhstan were hoping for qualification. As much as I see them as having strong potential to develop in the coming years, that is just a little ambitious, especially considering their group.

[scotchedpommes]

I heard Kazakhstan were hoping for qualification...

In the not-too-distant future, aye. Anything else is just a load of mince spouted by suits. Given that
they're putting out the kids against England, the intent seems clear. Whether they actually achieve
anything like coming close to qualification, I'd say we'll probably be able to judge in a couple of
tournaments' time.

This quoted just to instill a feeling of optimism:

"There's a big psychological factor at stake in this game," continued [Gordon] Smith. "The next match we have is against Holland, and that's five months away. A win on Saturday is crucial under those circumstances!" That's easier said than done, seeing the threat of the in-form-again-at-long-last John Carew will be met with David Weir, who will be celebrating his 147th birthday after the match with old team-mates from Everton, Hearts and Third Lanark. With this in mind, Smith relented a bit. "But it would be wrong to judge George on the strength of one match at the weekend. His position as national team manager is not under any threat at all." Having received the vote of no confidence, Burley may well be wishing he'd taken up a career in short selling instead.

[Louis VI the Fat]

It'll be interesting to see if France can get back on track

It's a catch-22 situation.

If we lose to Romania, we won't qualify.
If we beat Romania, Domenech stays on, we qualify, and we'll be rubbish all the way until we finally implode in South Africa.




On the upside, Ribéry has pleaded for France to start playing to it's attacking potential. And about time too. We've got the quality up front - with or without Henry - and we're not using it. I still remember the disappointing 0-0 against Romania in June, during Euro 2008. What a bore of a game. At least DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING! Can't go out on the pitch and just stand around, waving at the misses in the stands. Gah!

Ribéry's plea shows the rift between Domenech and the players again. I can agree with the FFF (French FA) that it is not all entirely Domenech's fault - these players are an unruly bunch. However, we can scarcely drop twenty players. What do you replace them with? Youths, Jean Tigana and me? Not possible. So just drop Domenech, eh?

It sure as hell beats sacking the team doctor and the press officer - which was the FFF's bold decision after the disastrous Euro 08.



I want Joe Kinnear for a coach.

"Which one of you is Benzema?

You're a ****!


Who's Govou?

You're a ******* ****!!"



Edit: Good luck to Scotland, England, Portugal and the other teams of our regular posters in this thread!

[Rhyfelwyr]

Good luck to Scotland, England, Portugal and the other teams of our regular posters in this thread!

We are certainly going to need it...

[scotchedpommes]

Only just saw Pagis' third against Lyon. Don't think it's been posted, but even if it has,
I could happily watch Lyon getting thrashed domestically on a continuous loop any day
of the week. Here's all three; each one a lovely finish in its own right.

[I'd guess Rennes fans are taking to Pagis a bit more easily now.]

[Rhyfelwyr]

Gah I don't think I can watch this Scotland game, its not on Setanta...

[scotchedpommes]

Chris Iwelumo... his first and last game for Scotland.

[Rhyfelwyr]

Gah.