This is NOT a joke!

My friend has just knocked on my door and after I opened it he lost balance and reached for my arm. He can't remain standing up or even sit. I've dragged him to my bed. He is smelling pure alcohol and he hasn't eaten anything for over 8 hours. He's vomiting right now or at least trying to.

What the hell am I supposed to do? Force him to drink water after he pukes? Give him something to eat? Cold shower? I'll make a quick 10 minute search on Google and if I don't help myself I'm calling 911.