Can't sleep...

[Devastatin Dave]

G dmt!!!
From my 3 year old waking up every hour to the next door neighbors dog barking half the ****ing night, my blood is boiling and its 1:30 in the morning. I had sex with the wife 2 and a half hours ago, the usual boring, her just laying there getting her's, getting mine, being done with barely a thouht. My damn dog an hour or so later just licking away at her ass for 20 minutes and running under the bed before I could stangle the life out of the worthless beast. Then there some #### ####ing ###### ###### driving down the street blasting jungle beats of some dead hip hop piece of trash that wasn't unfortunately capped before h could record some song about a bunch of stinking whore s that would only hook up with his thug ass because he made money by talking while the thump thump thump and the wiiiki wiki wiki of some untallented high school drop out pirated songs from musician with real talent, cut em up, tear em up.... Arg, !@#$@#!!!!
I'm so mad right now
Why? I have work in the morning. I have to work a second job right after the first one. Need money, always needing money. Taxes getting ripped out my hands to be thrown away to a bunch of worthless parasites that were too lazy or stupid to heed the warnings that a big ####ing storm was coming and now their too lazy or stupid to pull themselves up by the boot straps to help their own worthless asses. If I had a dollar for everytime i heard the media or some gold "teefed" nitwit whining about Katrina today, I'd might be able to replace the money that the government stole from me last year to give to worthless leaches sucking off the tit of the nanny state.
Man, I don't post much anymore. Not sure why. Same stuff day in and day out, Bush this, Bush that. Liberals, Conservatives, neo cons, hippies. Yap yap yap, lap dogs nipping at the heels. Where's Soly? Where's Tosa? Where the #### did i put my GD keys!!! Maybe I'll go look for those. Maybe they're laying the the mass of laundry that i was suppose to do tonight. Maybe I don't care if i ever find them again. Gas is down to 2.59 in my area and I got a boner over that!!! A boner over 2.59 for a gallon of gas? I remember it being .89 whe I was 16. Man, those were the days. I lost my virginity in that truck. Samantha was her name. Jonesboro was playing McDonagh (sp?, like that matters), half time, she had something to show me. Remember that first time. Then there was Melissa, nickname weasel. Pop goes the weasel!!! One wild crazy broad. Then there was Stephanie, the Morrow High cheerleader. That was great because i chickened out when I was 15 and still "clean". Tears, fears, no call from Stephanie till a year later. It was well worth the wait. Always scared though. Something was wrong, the flower had been trampled by my best friends brother. Damn him for what he did to me. Some scars never heel, even when you're 7. That's alright though. I smoke enough to get cancer. Plans you know. Terminally ill, got a list when the time comes, he's #1. Random thoughts now, blood flowing more smoothly. Pains in my chest easing.
Korea, why do i always remember Korea and tlak endlessly about it? How the hell were they the best days of my life? Strangly they were... No they weren't!!! When that little fella first looked at me like, "Who the hell are you?" That was the best. Part of my being in my hands, my boy. Then came my little girl 3 years later. Can someone have two best days of their lives? Sure seems like it. Tears...
How can I have so much hate in me when there are two human beings that think I'm wonderful. If those kids only knew the hypocracy and vileness of their old man. How to change and not loose my edge? Maybe its already gone, maybe thats why its 2 in the morning and I'm ranting on a game forum and will likely get some warnings on a thread with no real subject.
I remember watching Nanny dieing in her death bed. The cancer had moved from her luns to her brain. You could see the tumor pumping just behind her eye socket. My Nanny... never had time to grieve on that one. Dear sweet Nanny. Had to go on leave to help the family out down in Georgia. While I was down there my Miss Hunny died. Came back up because had a troop get into some trouble and work was piling up. No time to grieve for Miss Hunny. Nanny dies when I got back to IL. Had to go back down to GA and bury my Nanny. No time to grieve. After the funeral, had to rush back up to IL. Pregnancy test positive, life has a way of throwing you a curve, then a fastball right into your skull.
Where's Idaho? Haven't seen him in a while. 2:02, time for bed... goodnight, no time to grieve...
Proud infidel, signing off

[Beirut]

You require a moment of clarity, DD. Peace and quiet. Introspection. Meditation. Solitude. Breathe. And when you're with you're wife, just think of gas at .89 a gallon.

Remember: as Dave goes - so goes the world.

[R'as al Ghul]

Thanks for sharing.

My advise: Get a babysitter for the weekend and take two days off with your wife. Spend some quality time to retrieve your humanity and adjust your perspective.

Keep on posting.....

[ICantSpellDawg]

i feel a very similar level of rage about 80% of the time. i wish i could help you.

[Andres]

If possible, go on a holiday. Relax a bit. The sooner the better. You deserve it and most of all, you clearly need it. It's urgent. Go! Now!

[yesdachi]

I couldn’t sleep last night either but played some STW (Hojo) and then drank a Red Bull in the morning.

[doc_bean]

Have you considered taking up a sport like, say, boxing ? Something to let the anger get out of your system ? Posting in forums doesn't really help in my experience, you just turn meaner.

[Reverend Joe]

That's the most beautifully Milleresque piece of writing I have ever read on this site. From now on, I am going to refer to you as "Devastatin Henry."

Sometimes genius stems from insanity and rage.

[Ser Clegane]

Have you considered taking up a sport like, say, boxing ?

That's actually a good advice - when I had a bad day at work, going out for an hour to run often helps a lot (and it also usually helps with falling asleep).
As my understanding is that your current condition does not necessarily allow for all kinds of sport, Dave, you might want to check with a doctor first what kind of sport might be a good option.

Life can be quite a bitch sometimes and often kicks you in the face when you least expect it - the challenge is to try shrugging off the ugly parts and nourish on the bright parts instead of the other way around.