I thought I'd heard it all....

**caravel** · 09-09-2006, 20:24

You may find it has something to do with this:

His neighbour, former policeman John McLean, says the gnome is annoying and upsets buyers viewing his home.

And possibly the fact that the statue is also in the form of a policeman. Who knows?

Though I'm not so sure about this:

"placing a garden gnome with intent to cause harassment"

What kind of law is that? Part of the "improper use of gnomes act"?

**InsaneApache** · 09-09-2006, 20:33

Steady mate, that's Gnomist.

**Evil_Maniac From Mars** · 09-09-2006, 22:56

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_Gnome_Liberation_Front

These people must have something to do with it. Them or Leichenstein.

**Philippus Flavius Homovallumus** · 09-10-2006, 00:43

You know D&C currently lack a Chief Constable, because the last one was a fast-tracked, and useless, woman?

It may have been antagonistic but the former Policeman part would be why they did anything about it.

**Red Peasant** · 09-10-2006, 10:32

Originally Posted by Wigferth Ironwall

You know D&C currently lack a Chief Constable, because the last one was a fast-tracked, and useless, woman?

Fast-tracked and useless may be relevant, but what is the problem with being a woman? Got a problem with the ladies?

**Fragony** · 09-10-2006, 14:12

Hmmmmm, if I had to chose between a fine for an 80 year old because she dumps a bag with bread in a public bin, or a man who gets a fine because he gives water to people that are participating in a marathon, or this, I dunno. I am sure you all want to know why you aren't allowed to dump a bag with bread in a public bin or give water to people that are participating in a marathon, but I honestly don't know. Ah well $ is $ for the police, a few nonsense fines and you can keep on being completily useless.

**Philippus Flavius Homovallumus** · 09-10-2006, 18:05

Originally Posted by Red Peasant

Fast-tracked and useless may be relevant, but what is the problem with being a woman? Got a problem with the ladies?

No, not at all, I have no problems with ladies at all

You know what I meant.

**caravel** · 09-10-2006, 18:41

I can picture it now...

Gnome Dealing Ring Smashed

Police today swooped on a garden centre dealing in lllicit gnomes. The operation, a 48 hour siege involving 200 officers saw the siezure of aproximately 50 gnomes, with a total garden value of £300. This is the biggest success against a gnome dealing sindicate in decades. The owner of the garden center, that was secretly importing gnomes from eastern europe for sale on Britain's streets, and the ringleader of the multi million pence operation, Mr Caravel, was charged with 'supplying gnomes for the purpose of harrassment' and sentanced to death. Police also uncovered a cache of weapons including pea shooters and rolled up copies of the Daily Mail. Detective Chief Inspector Notmuchelseotodo commented, while posing for a shot with one of the haul of weapons, "someone could have got hurt here... badly hurt. Also among the arrests were 15 clients, both men and women in their late 70s and 80s. But the most important discovery at the site, that police are very pleased with, is a secret gnome making facility and a siezure of at least 1000Kg of cement and sand. Enough to make at least 200 Class A Gnomes. "we are looking at a serious operation here, if these gnomes had been produced who knows what could have happened. We had a very close shave, and I am proud of the professionalism of my officers. This is another great victory against the gnomish mafia, they can no longer sleep so soundly in their beds." said Detective Chief Inspector Notmuchelseotodo earlier today.

**Orb** · 09-10-2006, 00:47

Just brilliant, I'm going to put a garden gnome up with an intention to harass now.

**Hepcat** · 09-10-2006, 09:42

I thought the judge with the mystic dwarves was wierd. This has got to be the funniest news article I have ever seen. The best our press can muster over here is "Tana Umanga beats another rugby player with woman's hand bag."