Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." -Einstein
Originally Posted by Pannonian
Re: Chuck Norris
What a complete piece of spam. Chuck Norris jokes are teh old.
Post count +1.
Re: Chuck Norris
They're still good, mind you.
Re: Chuck Norris
Do all Chuck Norris jokes have that bad of a punch line?
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Re: Chuck Norris
Not as bad as your puns. ;-)
www.thechap.net
"We were not born into this world to be happy, but to do our duty." Bismarck
"You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing. One or the other. Not both." The Right Hon. Bertram Wilberforce Wooster
"Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication" - Lord Byron
"Where men are forbidden to honour a king they honour millionaires, athletes, or film-stars instead: even famous prostitutes or gangsters. For spiritual nature, like bodily nature, will be served; deny it food and it will gobble poison." - C. S. Lewis
Re: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is a nancy boy.
There are times I wish they’d just ban everything- baccy and beer, burgers and bangers, and all the rest- once and for all. Instead, they creep forward one apparently tiny step at a time. It’s like being executed with a bacon slicer.
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.”
To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticise.
"The purpose of a university education for Left / Liberals is to attain all the politically correct attitudes towards minorties, and the financial means to live as far away from them as possible."
Re: Chuck Norris
Tony Jaa would kick Chuck Norris and his cowboy ass.
"Once upon a time, on the internet there was a guy, a very deeply flawed man, they called him Eric Bauman..." -www.ebaumsworldsucks.com
Re: Chuck Norris
You all know very well that the only man ever to beat Chuck was Bruce Lee!
"It ain't where you're from / it's where you're at."
Eric B. & Rakim, I Know You Got Soul
Re: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris has only two speeds: walking and killing.
Crazed Rabbit
Ja Mata, Tosa.
The poorest man may in his cottage bid defiance to all the forces of the Crown. It may be frail; its roof may shake; the wind may blow through it; the storm may enter; the rain may enter; but the King of England cannot enter – all his force dares not cross the threshold of the ruined tenement! - William Pitt the Elder
Re: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris chews chunky biz lumps.
There are times I wish they’d just ban everything- baccy and beer, burgers and bangers, and all the rest- once and for all. Instead, they creep forward one apparently tiny step at a time. It’s like being executed with a bacon slicer.
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.”
To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticise.
"The purpose of a university education for Left / Liberals is to attain all the politically correct attitudes towards minorties, and the financial means to live as far away from them as possible."
Re: Chuck Norris
No more Chuck Norris jokes, WH Taft only from now on.
Sometimes I slumber on a bed of roses
Sometimes I crash in the weeds
One day a bowl full of cherries
One night I'm suckin' on lemons and spittin' out the seeds
-Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers, Lemons
Re: Chuck Norris
Does this mean we can create whole threads devoted to All Your Base Are Belong To Us?
I mean, it's a good idea to recycle.
Re: Chuck Norris
10...
9...
8...
Unto each good man a good dog
Re: Chuck Norris
No. They belong to Chuck Norris.
There are times I wish they’d just ban everything- baccy and beer, burgers and bangers, and all the rest- once and for all. Instead, they creep forward one apparently tiny step at a time. It’s like being executed with a bacon slicer.
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.”
To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticise.
"The purpose of a university education for Left / Liberals is to attain all the politically correct attitudes towards minorties, and the financial means to live as far away from them as possible."
Re: Chuck Norris
7i...
8i...
9i...
10i...
We are all aware that the senses can be deceived, the eyes fooled. But how can we be sure our senses are not being deceived at any particular time, or even all the time? Might I just be a brain in a tank somewhere, tricked all my life into believing in the events of this world by some insane computer? And does my life gain or lose meaning based on my reaction to such solipsism?
Project PYRRHO, Specimen 46, Vat 7
Activity Recorded M.Y. 2302.22467
TERMINATION OF SPECIMEN ADVISED
Re: Chuck Norris
11
Chuck Norris is the devil.
Re: Chuck Norris
I get a kick out of them.Do all Chuck Norris jokes have that bad of a punch line?
Yes, Iraq is peaceful. Go to sleep now. - Adrian II
Re: Chuck Norris
Gah.... THE PAIN!
Chuck Norris > All
Rest in Peace TosaInu, the Org will be your legacy
Re: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." -Einstein
Re: Chuck Norris
Once I wanted to meet Chuck Norris, but he told me to turn into toilet papers, he said that it was only the way to.
(I know Eastern sense of humor sucks for you but..)
Re: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is actually a ninja with real ultimate power who murders pirates day and night. Sometimes he fights butt pirates too.
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." -Einstein
Re: Chuck Norris
I've seen Chuck Norris in person. Truely a site to behold.
Re: Chuck Norris
If I'm going to keep this open, I want to see every post having a decent Chuck Norris joke in it.
Co-Lord of BKS and Beirut's Kingdom of Peace and Love.
"Handsome features, rugged exteriors, intellectual chick magnets, we're pretty much twins."-Beirut
"Rhy, where's your helicopter now? Where's your ******* helicopter now?"-Mephistopheles.
Re: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep.
He waits.
My favorite.
Re: Chuck Norris
I saw Chuck Norris in Missing In Action...and that was the problem - I saw him. I was hoping he was the subject of the title.
Just kidding. I've nothing against Chuck except he has about the cheesiest beard I've ever seen. He oughta chop it off.
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Re: Chuck Norris
Who?
"Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite." - John Kenneth Galbraith
Re: Chuck Norris
Do all Texas Rangers look like Chuck Norris?
There are times I wish they’d just ban everything- baccy and beer, burgers and bangers, and all the rest- once and for all. Instead, they creep forward one apparently tiny step at a time. It’s like being executed with a bacon slicer.
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.”
To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticise.
"The purpose of a university education for Left / Liberals is to attain all the politically correct attitudes towards minorties, and the financial means to live as far away from them as possible."
Re: Chuck Norris
yes
There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford
My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.
I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.
Re: Chuck Norris
as a matter of fact I think the Texas Department of Rangers has had massive cutbacks and is solely relying on Chuck.
Re: Chuck Norris
He could do. I used to hear a crap load of Chuck Norris jokes from my friends but I can't seem to remember any of them.
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