European Security Levels Raised



The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist bombings and therefore have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved'. Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 - when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been officially re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of 1666.


Also, the French government announced yesterday that it had also raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's
white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.


It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".


The Germans, wishing to stay in lock-step with their neighbors, have also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher alert levels: "invade a neighbor" and "lose".
I forwarded this to my Brit pal. Here is his response, direct from my email (language slightly cleaned up):

Quote Originally Posted by my buddy Dave
Of note is the fact that the most important part that is missing here, is that while the British may be Irritated or a Bit Cross, they stuck around to tough it out. When the Canadian Border Crossing Guards receive a memo indicating an American fugitive who MAY be riding a motorcycle, who MAY have a knife and while still over a 1,000 miles away MAY try to enter Canada, they run the f*** away..........quickly


Even the French would have stuck around to have smoked some cigarettes or shag some women before eventually f***ing off............