Alternate histories

[Pannonian]

There are some nice stories here. The WI for Harold winning at Hastings is the most detailed, with a notable absence of good guys and bad guys. Well, good guys anyway. The WI for the Falklands describes a particularly implausible scenario, a trashy novel written by an author with no grasp of military realities. Then, if you want some serious analysis, there's an exploration of Operation Sealion. The essays are all written in a humorous style.

Review of the alternate history: The Falklands War

The bandwagon of AH rolls on. We have seen the books on WW2, and the Korean War. Another author is attempting to cash in, this time in a near-present period.

This, however, is definitely an inferior product, clearly rushed out to cash in on the current popularity of AH. This is obvious from the sloppy proofreading. The author seems unable to decide whether she is referring to the Falklands War, or the Falklands Conflict. I will use the title, the Falklands Conflict, as that appears to be the formal name.

The book is best described as a modern Boy's Own Paper Heroic Action Adventure wet dream brought into the modern day. Plausibility goes out of the window, with logistics, politics, economics and common sense all being disposed of in short order. The author may as well have called the book "The Empire Strikes Back", and be done with it.

Book 1: Alien space bat arrival

It is the start of the Napoleonic Wars. A bunch of alien bats from the farthest reaches of space head towards Earth at somewhat above the speed of light. It is a well-known physical law that as you approach the speed of light, time slows down. If you extend the maths, when you exceed the speed of light, time actually goes into reversal.

As a result, these alien bats are able to learn BBC English from radio broadcasts before arriving on Earth just before the industrial revolution gets underway, at the start of the first Global War.

The bats come from a damp, overcast, grey planet. As a result, they choose Manchester as the ideal landing site, having a satisfactory climate and proximity to a future industrial centre.

The English are surprised to see the bats arrive. Luckily, the bats speak English, so communication is not a problem. The bats explain that they have come to enslave humanity and take over as top bat. They are a little surprised when the English agree to become their allies.

After the bats see the living conditions of the working people of Manchester, they have a better understanding.

The English show the bats the French spy captured at Hartlepool recently, and the bats understand that the English believe themselves to be better than humans, and thus talk of enslaving humans means helping the English beat the French.

Wellington is recalled from India, and the next step in the war is discussed. It is agreed that the English would provide infantry and artillery, while the bats provide mechanical cavalry. On advice from the bats, the English understand that the mechanical cavalry is best used on flat terrain. Since the French are active in Egypt, the battleground is chosen. Off go the English and bats to Egypt. Lots of trouble for the RN in carrying 50 ton mechanical horses, but they cope.

Wellington gets on well with Nelson, both being modest and having very similar attitudes towards man-management. The tactful and mild-spoken Picton is given command of the cavalry.

The English and French meet at a place called El Alamein. Victory to the English! A number of promotions follow: Richard Sharpe is made Lt (after having been thought to be dead), Bolitho and Hornblower make Nelson's name famous at the Battle of the Nile; Riflemen Harris and Brewster are made corporal. Raglan fights bravely and with great intelligence, but is killed.

Lots of blood-curdling action, with lots of descriptions of mechanical cavalry advancing.

Britain beats France and take Egypt.