Advice

[Ice]

Yeah, yeah, I know I'm on an gaming forum, but I'm sure many org patrons have felt what I have felt before.

To make a long story short, I'm in love with a girl who has a boyfriend. She seems enough, only one problem, I still love her.

I need advice on how to make this feeling go away. Serious advice please other than "Just find someone else". That's the problem, I can't.

Any help would be appreciated. Thanks guys, this hurts.

[CrossLOPER]

Ah, that emotion. Many, including myself, can understand what you are feeling. Were this a simple discussion, I would give you many ways to look at this, including my own dark view, but you are asking for clear help, so help I will give.

To be honest, you can't just make that feeling go away. It's something that you have to accept. You can, however, channel this feeling into something physical to help you handle it. I don't know what you think of this type of thing, but I have found that the literature that I write is often at its best when I am in an highly, emotional state. You can write poetry, or just scribble down your thoughts(in a journal perhaps). Don't make it into something it is not, just write what is there. Try to be at peace when you do this, otherwise you'll just frustrate yourself. You can also try other forms of art, if you are good at any. Try to find something that inspires you. It does not have to be a masterpiece, but it can become one. Engaging in sport can also help. Actually, any activity that requires you to commit yourself will help.

Another approach is to directly analyze your feelings. Just find a quite time in your day and tend to your thoughts while in a park or forest, somewhere peaceful. Go over whatever comes to mind. Take as long as you need to understand your feelings.The most important thing is that you take care not to torture yourself with them.

Music is a powerful medium. I found that listening to neutral and semi-upbeat music helped me to focus when my emotions were getting the better of me. It put a rythem to my life and made everything run more smoothly. As things stand now, I cannot live without music. Perhaps it could do the same with you. If you can sing or dance(you should be able to do one), this moment in your life presents an opportunity for you to show your feelings in a certain way, if only to yourself.

I have done all of these things, and I have to say that music helped the most. You must now find what works for you. I wish you well.

EDIT: What I have told you is what works for almost everybody. However, I can tell you other ways to deal or even view this situation. I must warn you, though, that what I have to say maybe something you should not hear. So I will only tell you if you are at a complete loss. I strongly suggest you go with what you see.

[Beirut]

...only one problem, I still love her.

I need advice on how to make this feeling go away.

Time, lad. Time.

Good friends, good books, good life, they all help as well. Just keep on keeping on.

[Fragony]

I'm in love with a girl who has a boyfriend.

Don't worry you don't feel anything of that

[LeftEyeNine]

Here comes Date Doc, examines the situation and prescribes his favorite natural remedy: Forget.

You should take it before meals until it feels done.Time does heal.

[Lt Nevermind]

time, time, time... even scientifically proven. After 3 months of no contact whatsoever with her you're healed, worked with me the last time with astonishing accuracy. And god help you if you're forced to be in contact with her

[yesdachi]

Tough luck Ice. I’d go out and have some fun with some positive friends and try and avoid the topic. Maybe while you are out you will meet someone who can help keep your mind off your troubles. Or you could download and play the Medieval II Total War Demo? Good luck.

[Dutch_guy]

Well try spending as much time with your friends as possible, try jogging/running or basically anything which takes your mind off her, and makes you open to other girls which might be just as good or better.

On the subject of friends, have you spoken to them about this ? If that is possible I'd suggest doing so, it might seem a bit weird, maybe even embarassing, but if your friends really are your friends they'd try to help you get through this. I know you've probably figured the above out already, but it's often the simple solutions one forgets.

[Ice]

Thanks for the advice my friends. The feeling in the pit of my stomach is getting the most of me.

[Fragony]

Thanks for the advice my friends. The feeling in the pit of my stomach is getting the most of me.

Why give up? She has a friend, so what? Unless it is a good friend of yours, this shouldn't bother you at all.

[Avicenna]

time, time, time... even scientifically proven. After 3 months of no contact whatsoever with her you're healed, worked with me the last time with astonishing accuracy. And god help you if you're forced to be in contact with her

really? why 3 months?

[CrossLOPER]

For some reason, three months always works. However, right when you think you're finally rid of her, she just pops up again. That can really mess you up.

[The Stranger]

well... ive helped many friends with this... and ive been helped once... the best advice is been given. you could try to win her over one more time, id be glad to help... but im no expert on getting over those things...

[Andres]

It happened to me once. 2 or 3 months without contact and you're cured.

As stated before: time is the best cure for this sort of things.

[CrossLOPER]

you could try to win her over one more time

That, my friend, would fall into the category of something that requires dirty tricks.

[Somebody Else]

Simply recognise that there's two kinds of 'love' for another person. One is more sensual than not, the other is more platonic. If you can separate those in your mind, then you'll be free to see that this girl is happy and be happy for her, that's a kind of love that's lasting - and very hard to get rid of if it exists. The other kind - once separate - fades much more readily - and is easily supplanted by someone else coming on the scene.

As I said, the trick is to separate, well, essentially, love and lust. Love her, fool around with other people. It's all about attitude.

[Ice]

well... ive helped many friends with this... and ive been helped once... the best advice is been given. you could try to win her over one more time, id be glad to help... but im no expert on getting over those things...

I've tried, but to no avail. I should have been more specific.

Anyway, i just went to the gym and lifted and did crutches till i could hardly move. Then i went to the dining hall and ate a really healthy lunch. I think I found my escape from this.

[Don Corleone]

I've tried, but to no avail. I should have been more specific.

Anyway, i just went to the gym and lifted and did crutches till i could hardly move. Then i went to the dining hall and ate a really healthy lunch. I think I found my escape from this.

Two words: Gentlemen's Club. Nothing will make you forget Suzie-What's-her-name faster then a couple of hours and 50 well spent dollars in your local establishment of exotic dance. I'm serious about this.

If you have moral objections to that, well, there is the old adage about getting back up on the horse. Start doing anything/everything you can do to meet as many women as you can: grocery stores, gyms, churches, political causes, bars, you name it. Tell all your buddies to cough up their black books (at least the ones that are currently attached). You gotta go for broke. There is a woman out there that will make you forget the one you're interested in, you just gotta go find her, mon amis.

[Csargo]

I feel for you man. I'm sure everyone in there life has had to deal with something like this your not alone. I don't really have anything to add just go with what everyone else has said. Alot of time with no contact with the person is the best I think. That's what worked for me.

[Reverend Joe]

God all ****** mighty that's a horrible feeling. I really know no way to avoid it.

My advice? Get drunk, get high, get loaded. (If nothing else works, that is.)

(Only use the stars please - Beirut)

[Ice]

God all ****** mighty that's a horrible feeling. I really know no way to avoid it.

My advice? Get drunk, get high, get loaded. (If nothing else works, that is.)

I'd love to do that, but I'm not going to resort to that. I don't want to start a habit by solving my problems with alcohol/drugs.

(Edit quote - Beirut)

[Reenk Roink]

This song always helps...

[Strike For The South]

If she is happy there isnt much you can do besides be happy for her. Which is fine. I know this sucks but you have to let go. Holding on will just make things worse and you may miss something better.

[Ice]

If she is happy there isnt much you can do besides be happy for her. Which is fine. I know this sucks but you have to let go. Holding on will just make things worse and you may miss something better.

That's the most productive and helpful thing I've ever heard you say, Strike. Thanks.

Again, thanks to everyone.

[GoreBag]

I'm not really too familiar with it, but there are other fish in the sea. No one is worth getting all worked up, anyway.

[The Stranger]

That, my friend, would fall into the category of something that requires dirty tricks.

not neccesary... you could just ask her out, get to know her better (if you dont know her good enough already), but if she really is happy with that friend and you dont know for sure if she is better of with you, you mustnt do it.

[IrishArmenian]

How far are you willing to go?
A) Tell her exactly how you feel, if she seems unhappy with her current boyfriend.
B) Pray, but remember, God helps those who help themselves.
C) Is she happy with that other man? If you really love her you can be at peace knowing she is happy.
I prescribe large amounts of Delta Blues with a hint of Chicago too. Take whenever feeling down.
My wife is reading this and calling me a soft right now.

[CrossLOPER]

not neccesary... you could just ask her out, get to know her better (if you dont know her good enough already), but if she really is happy with that friend and you dont know for sure if she is better of with you, you mustnt do it.

I am talking from the side of those that prefer not to be so meek. Ice seems far too nice to try some of stuff I have in mind.

[Ice]

How far are you willing to go?
A) Tell her exactly how you feel, if she seems unhappy with her current boyfriend.
B) Pray, but remember, God helps those who help themselves.
C) Is she happy with that other man? If you really love her you can be at peace knowing she is happy.
I prescribe large amounts of Delta Blues with a hint of Chicago too. Take whenever feeling down.
My wife is reading this and calling me a soft right now.

A. I've done that.
B. I've done that.
C. She says she is.

Nothing left to do. I'll get over it.

[IrishArmenian]

Have you heeded my prescription?
Well, don't just stand here, go to a bar, get drunk and wake up in an unknown woman's bed!