Kagemusha's Short stories

[Kagemusha]

The morning sun is warming my stiff body.Wind blows so hard its watering my eyes,or are those tears?I cant think nothing else but little Yoshimaru whose birth brought light to my life,just few weeks a go.It feels as if my sashimono is trying to push me to the ground.No,i must stand tall.Look at might of the Takeda army!
Here comes our brave general Hara Masatane whose bravery is a fine example to any man in this army.Sun casts an shadow on his face as he rides towards us so we cant see his face.He stops and turns his back on us.For a second nothing happends.It seems as if he is looking to the other side of the field,where the enemy wait.
Suddenly he raises his Spear.March!And we march.First slowly,then little bit faster as our general speeds up his horse.As we cross the midle of the field we have an better wiew on the enemy.there they stand behind somekind of palisade.Like thats going to save them from our fury!
Masatane speeds his stead to an gallop and an mighty roar comes out of our throats as we start running towards the enemy.
Our Yaris wawe like an ocean of spears as we get closer to the enemy.
Now its only fifty meters to them,why wont they do enything?
Then the world explodes as thousands of muskets fire simultanioysly.I stamble to man before me who has died immediatly as musket ball has pierced his head.Im trying to get up but my heart is bumping like crazy,it feels like im choking.
I manage to get on my feets and i see that our general have stopped his mount.He wawes his spear towards the enemy and screams move!move!Run men!To victory!
And we run!there is only about twenty more meters to palisade when suddenly i see an picture in my head of my wife smiling at me with little Yoshimaru on her lap.Just few more meters....

That was my first one since highschool(Its been a while).I would love to hear your comments about it.

-Kagemusha

[Monk]

Personal, emotional, i like it kagemusha.

there are some grammar errors here and there, but nothing that can't be fixed by a once over edit. A tip, when you use a punctuation mark like a ',' you should use a space aferward. Example:

The Monk thought for a long time before any resonable comment revealed itself. Yet when it did, he posted quickly.

Other than that i enjoyed this. Welcome to the Mead Hall. kagemusha

[Kagemusha]

Personal, emotional, i like it kagemusha.

there are some grammar errors here and there, but nothing that can't be fixed by a once over edit. A tip, when you use a punctuation mark like a ',' you should use a space aferward. Example:

The Monk thought for a long time before any resonable comment revealed itself. Yet when it did, he posted quickly.

Other than that i enjoyed this. Welcome to the Mead Hall. kagemusha

Thanks for the tips Monk, It clearly shows that english isnt my native language. Back at school, i was always criticized for my grammar. When i start to write something it just bursts out of my brain.

[master of the puppets]

When i start to write something it just bursts out of my brain.

so true
anyway, awsome peice, i like the lack of spaces gives it a very fast feeling, as if running with the story. love it.

[Kagemusha]

Thank you for your kind words Master Of The Puppets.

[Kagemusha]

I hate that man. I hate him so much. There was an time when i could watch cherry trees blossom at springtime. Or enjoy birds singing on a warm summer night. Its Autum and everything is dying and soon im going away too.
Who does that man think he is? Meerly better than an peasant. Disgusting upstart i say! Who is he to challence me The Kanrei of Kyoto. a man who once appointed Shoguns in this land as i pleased.
And now he is here.With his Army.BONG!
-Commander!Stop that annoying noise at once!
-Master!I would if i could, but our archers are dead and we cant do a thing that the enemy is breaking the outer gate as we speak.
-Commander! If you really are not usefull to me anymore, you can might as well end your miserable life.
-Yes Master!Good bye My Lord!BONG!
-Captain! You are in charge.
Worthless. everything is worthless.It hurts to my head thinking that once that man behind the castle wall was our retainer.The only happy thing is that my glorius ancestors are not witnessing this catastrophy. I shoud have wiped them all out when i had the chance. It was me who ordered his father to commit seppuku. I shoul have had put all of their house to the sword back then.CRASH!
-Captain!?
-My Lord. Enemy has breached the outer gate and all the defence towers are on fire.
-What are you waiting CAPTAIN?Take Your men and push them back! Move!
-Yes My Lord!
-Sergeant.Man this keep and barricade the inner gate.
-Yes Master!
Everyone has abandoned me.Where are my retainers now? I know where they are. They are with him. Abandoned me and joined forces with him.Those dogs!
Smelling blood and circling around the carcas of my once great family.
CRASH!
-My Lord!
-Speak!
-The sergeant is dead.Enemy is in the downstairs and we cant stop them anymore.
-Men! This is the end. Give me my sword. He can take my castle,but he will never take my dignity!
-But Sire...
-SILENCE YOU WORM! I RULE HERE!
-Yes My Lord,but here in the corridor is an messenger from the enemy.
-What an messenger?What does this mean?Let him in.
Fully armored samurai walks in the room and kneels.
-Great Lord Hosokawa! I bring news from The Chokei of Miyoshi.My lord says that enough blood has been spilled and he doesnt wish the death of an mighty adversery like you great lord! He says that this castle is now his property,but he wishes that you could retire peacefully and he would be honoured to protect you from your enemies.
What is this?I was responsible for hes fathers death and now he wont have mine.
-My lord!I say we take his head and throw it down the stairs, so the enemy shall see what do we think about their schemes!
-No! Lay down your arms men.I thought i would never see this day,but today we surrender.This is end of our Era.

Another one.Please post your opinions.

-kagemusha

[Kagemusha]

Damned
Was my story so crappy, that while twenty people have read it no one havent sayd a single word about it?

[Monk]

People in the Mead Hall are shy, they don't like to leave their shadows to comment very often. Do not take a offense as it is nothing against you or your story. We all must beg for comments once in a while .

Anyway, i thought it was a nice, short read. Though you still have many grammical and spelling errors. The .org here has a spellcheck, the button resides down by the "Preview post" button. You should use it to edit your story before posting, it will help.

[Kagemusha]

Thank for your comments hooded hooligan (starting the horrible task how to write properly).

[zelda12]

People in the Mead Hall are shy, they don't like to leave their shadows to comment very often. Do not take a offense as it is nothing against you or your story. We all must beg for comments once in a while .

Anyway, i thought it was a nice, short read. Though you still have many grammical and spelling errors. The .org here has a spellcheck, the button resides down by the "Preview post" button. You should use it to edit your story before posting, it will help.

I am one of the people who will occasionally pluck up the courage to post...but I have let things slip lately. In both reading and in commenting...I'm looking forward to catching up but I'm wondering whether I'll be able to see after a 24 hour reading fest of the mead hall...

Kagemusha, very good. As Monk has said spellCheck would help you a lot, and make the story easier to read. Anyway, the story is good, reminds me a bit of Ran.

[Kagemusha]

Thanks for the compliments Zelda12.

[master of the puppets]

i like to talk

it was good, brief, the thoughts were almost muddled like a madmans, jumping quickly to conclusions and new subjects. all in all ...good

[Kagemusha]

i like to talk

it was good, brief, the thoughts were almost muddled like a madmans, jumping quickly to conclusions and new subjects. all in all ...good

Thanks Master of the puppets!
You hitted straight to the nail. My intention was to create an mentally of balanced main character.Tryed to jump to the shoes of a madman. I thought it woul be intresting to have an main character who had been cracked under the pressure.

[master of the puppets]

SWEET, I IS DA BIG SMART GUY, w00t

[Kagemusha]

-So, what brings you here neighbor? Or was it an accident that you rode here in to my castle? Maybe too much sake last night, that you couldn't find your own castle .
-No. Cant an old warrior visit his friend without being accused an drynkyard. Maybe i just wanted to have a cup of tea.
-So tea we shall have.
As we waited the servants to serve the tea.I felt an shiver in my bones, last touches of winter i thought.
-Another spring has came upon us.Soon the farmers will dig up their tools and start working after the long winter.
-Yes. Hopefully this summer there wont be any campaigning to do. So they can harvest in peace.
-What? Has the old Warmonger finally grown too tired of war? Its not so many years ago that our armies stood against each other at these plains.
-Yes the good old days. Now that the Togukawa bakufu has all the power in this land. So much have chanced. The only war is that damned siege in Osaka Castle. Which seems to me is never going to end. Id rather be hunting wildboars,
then in those muddy ditches around Osaka.
-So, should we go hunting together this spring? I would love to chase those pigs around the hills.
-Im sorry old friend, but your hunting days are over. The real reason i am here is that the Bakufu is most displeased about you. In all of their wisdom they have decided that you should not govern these lands anymore. Instead Bakufu wishes that your position should be transferred to your second son.Because he is still minor, i have been appointed as his guardian until the time he reaches manhood.I am sorry old friend.
-But what happends to me? Should i just retire in shame.Never!
-The Bakufu wishes no ill to you, and lord Togukawa has personally appointed me to assist you, to do the honorable thing.
We sat there for a while in almost absolute silence. I could hear the sounds in my throat as i tried to force the tea down to it.finally he put down his tea and said.
-The Samurais way is the way of the death. I always taught that i would meet my destiny on the battlefield.But if it has to be here and now.I could not have better company then you. So lets not anymore waist our lords precious time and lets get on with it.
I saw a grim smile on his face as he crapped his wazikashi.I walked behind him and pulled out my katana.
-Take care of my family.He said as he stroke the wazikashi in his stomach.He raised his head and looked straight to my eyes the last time.
-I will.Old friend i will. Then it was over.

[master of the puppets]

sad...very sad.

i cannot ever see killing myself just because one commanded me to. but then again i don't have those kinds of ideals. i would rather defy orders and die as a common soldier in the feild of battle than let flow my own life-blood.

how the samuria could blindly follow such an order i do not know, mabey you can enlighten me kagemusha.

[Kagemusha]

sad...very sad.

i cannot ever see killing myself just because one commanded me to. but then again i don't have those kinds of ideals. i would rather defy orders and die as a common soldier in the feild of battle than let flow my own life-blood.

how the samuria could blindly follow such an order i do not know, mabey you can enlighten me kagemusha.

I think they had very different wiew to death then we do.I dont mean they dint love life but in my mind they couldnt put up with shame.Also i think many of warlords at time wouldnt have done what the man in the story did,but rebelled.In my mind he knew his death would have been enevetable(spelling!) anyway,so he wanted to spare his family from his own faith.

[Copperhaired Berserker!]

Are you doing lots of short storys? well, if you are could you put them in one thread please? No disrespect or offence intended

[Kagemusha]

It okay to me.Ill ask Monk if he can move all these under one thread.

[Monk]

It okay to me.Ill ask Monk if he can move all these under one thread.

As Per request all stories have been merged.

[Kagemusha]

Thanks Monk.

[Monk]

Thanks Monk.

You're welcome kagemusha. Good luck in your future stories posted.

[Kagemusha]

A nice day

Nice weather today. The sun is shining from almost cloudless sky. I can smell the salty air coming with the wind from the sea. The screams of seagals are coming from the harbour, it means that the fishermen are coming home from their days work. It´s so sad that im not going to hear them much longer.

- Sergeant Kurt Vogel! You have been found guilty as charged from accusations of sabotage of Reich´s defence by spreading groundless rumours concerning the war against Russian half-humans. The judgement have been given by the 15th Courtmarshall under the magistrate Kiel. The sentence is death by firing squad!

I have been living in this city my whole life. I remember playing in these streets with my friends. When we were kids we used to nick sweets from The local store, only few blocks away. What a beating we got from our parent´s when we got caught.

- Platoon attention!

As a teenagers we hanged around the city like leafs carried by the wind, just floating around without meaning. Where are you now my friends? Russia, France maybe in Italy? Lying in the trenches, praying for a God to save you from death?

-Reload!

Liselotte my darling. my only love i hope you will get through this God forsaken war alive and live in a better world where there is also other things beside killing and more killing.

-Aim!

And little Elisabeth and Heinz it brakes my heart that i cant see you growing up as wonderfull that im sure you will, but dont worry, im allways going to be close to you. Always, i promise.

-Fire!

[AntiochusIII]

Thus an ancient (not really?) thread revived. Nice to see you writing again.

My only (worthwhile) suggestions would be for you to use quotations for the dialogue. Most readers are more comfortable this way, and it offers a flexibility to emphasize certain phrases your character wishes to use. The excellent details of how to create such dialogues is found on "that" sticky thread in the Mead Hall "Punctuation of Dialogue" or something...

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

I think I liked the last one the best - certainly it was easiest to read.

Keep it up.

[Kagemusha]

Thanks for your comments guys.I know the grammar is not the best of my sides.Im kind of sloppy in that area,have always been.

[Kagemusha]

Old man and Garden


Here i am once again. I remember this garden from my youth. I remember how full of enthusiasm i was when my father took me with him first time to see this mighty castle, to introduce the future heir of his clan to his master.
It was middle of winter and the nature in this garden was still sleeping. Still my first thought was that this was my place, it was natural for me to be here.
I remember how the snow sounded under my feet,the trees heavy under snow and the little frozen stream which we crossed on our way to my fathers master.

Now my father is gone, ripped a way from us too young.He died like he lived all his life, fighting in continuos battles and one of those he also met his destiny.I was there that day,only two years after my first visit to this castle. I still remember it like yesterday. That morning he seemed more silent then usual, like he had foreseen his destiny. The battle was supposed to be just another skirmish, more like a stand off to show our power to the neighbouring clan, but that morning the enemy had other plans then to just show their strength by presenting only themselves on the battlefield.
We were positioned on a little hill that had some scattered trees on it. The enemy was on another hill opposite to our position like many times before. The sun was shining straight to our position, i remember how it was hard to see on the opposite hill.
Suddenly a messenger rode in riding his horse like the demons were after him and shouted: "enemy flags on the right"! My father turned towards me playfully, punched my shoulder with his armoured hand and sayed: "My son.Take the main army and march back to our castle". "Im proud man to have son like you,live well and die with honour". Then he roared a command to other troops and galloped towards the new enemy troops.I had never been so proud of him before, when i saw him flying with his horse on full armour towards the enemy,his personal banner flying above him. That was the last time i saw him alive.

After my honourable father had left us and went to meet his ancestors, my uncle took over the clan and our politics changed. My fathers master became our new enemy and that caused me to come here to this place again.

It was hot summer night.But that night the birds didnt sing their love, but it was night of muskets thundering.Night when men yelled killing and dying women and children screaming in terror, before the death gave them peace.
We had been sieging this castle for many months,when finally that night some of our men succeeded on infiltrating the castle and opening the gates.That night i run through this garden katana on my hand,my armour wet on my enemies blood. The little stream was coloured red by the blood spilled and some of the trees had cought fire. No thoughts of beaty crossing my mind as i killed every enemy crossing my path. My fathers master died a warriors death, defending this castle to the end. His wifes decided not to stay on the mercy of the new masters of the castle and ended their lives and the lives of their children.

But the years passed and the castle remained, also the garden lived on and once again blossomed like it had before that devastating night. My uncle passed away eventually and the clan and the castle was mine. Those times were turbulent and sometimes i can still see blood in my hands, no matter how much i wash, it will never wash away completely.

This castle has been my home since. It has seen the birth of my children. In this same garden i have held them in my lap and played with them when they were just little things learning the ways of the new world they had entered.
Also this is the place that i shared with my wife. We use to sit here for hours talking to each other and doing what lovers do. Altough also now she has also left from this life. I can still remember how the stars glimmered from her eyes on silent august nights, her scent mixing on the other odoures of this garden. Some times still i think i hear her whisper on the wind when i sit here alone, like part of her is still here.

But now the years are moving fast. Each winter seems colder and each summer hotter.My once strong hands are loosing their strength. My once straight posture is turning to old mans stooped appearance. I know that my days are few in number. Soon i will leave this place, but the garden and the nature that it represents will stay. The stream will continue its everlasting movement and the cherry trees continue to blossom. That is the natural law of life.

-Kage

[Franconicus]

Sad! Very good, but sad!

[Kagemusha]

Thank you Franconicus sama. I feel if the writing creates an emotion on the reader im happy.

[Franconicus]

That is what I wanted to state!
Did you read my last masterpiece?