Evolution just ain't working fast enough

[Banquo's Ghost]

Unless a serious infection sets in, this guy is still able to contribute to the gene pool. Perhaps it's just as well he hadn't had beans on toast for supper.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Backside firework prank backfires

A man suffered internal burns when he tried to launch a rocket from his bottom on Bonfire Night.

Paramedics found the 22-year-old bleeding, with a Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket lodged inside him, when they attended the scene in Sunderland.

He suffered a scorched colon and is now recovering in hospital, where his condition is described as stable.

A spokesman for the North East Ambulance Service (NEAS) said the prank could have been fatal.

Douglas McDougal, from the NEAS, said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding.

"He sustained fairly significant injuries in the fact that there's huge damage to that particular area."

Mr McDougal added: "Potentially it could have been a fatal incident.

"There's a lot of major blood vessels round that area, so infection would probably be a huge problem for him.

"And also the body naturally produces methane gas, so combine that with the firework and the exploding effect with methane's flammability - it certainly could have been a lot worse than it really was."

A spokesman for the Firework Association described the bizarre prank as "beyond belief".

He said: "We have spent a long time working with the government to create laws that make fireworks safer and better for the public.

"This incident is very concerning but hopefully an isolated one."

Northumbria Police said they were aware of the incident, which happened in the Dame Dorothy Street area of Monkwearmouth, but are understood not to be carrying out further inquiries.

[Fragony]

That's................

some people

[macsen rufus]

What could have been going through his mind? Oh, it seems the rocket did

Is it possible to resign from the human race? I mean, I just give up on these creatures that pretend to be from the same species. Just how dumb can you be and still be able to keep breathing?

[Husar]

It's unbelievable how some people keep thinking every joke they could make would always end up completely harmless and often even laugh about persons who are more careful, but it often enough ends with something they didn't expect.

[Aenlic]

Another honorable mention for the Darwin Awards. He just didn't have what it takes to go all the way and qualify for the finals in those awards - by successfully taking himself all the way out of the gene pool. Sadly, this one will likely survive to breed.

[Hepcat]

In the words of my science teacher:
"I would not allow this student to breed."

Oh, and no it wasn't directed at me when he said it.

[yesdachi]

I think in the Jackass movie one of the guys fires a bottle rocket type firecracker out his rear. There’s a warning on those movies for a reason people, only trained professionals should be firing rockets out their brown eye.

Life imitates art.

[Lemur]

A more successful attempt, via YouTube.

[Fragony]

out their brown eye.

beautifull

[CrossLOPER]

A more successful attempt, via YouTube.

Lube would have probably helped.

[BDC]

Lube would have probably helped.

Not if it's flammable...

[Crazed Rabbit]

He suffered a scorched colon

I bet the doctors don't get a lot of those.

CR

[Orb]

A more successful attempt, via YouTube.

Er... is that in the PG-13 limit?

[Lemur]

Er... is that in the PG-13 limit?

Probably not, and I'll probably get a warning point or two for it. But it was worth it. I'm sorry. No discussion of butt-rockets can be complete without video evidence.

And in fairness, all you can see in the video is some cheek. No dangly bits are in evidence.

[Mithrandir]

And in fairness, all you can see in the video is some cheek. No dangly bits are in evidence.

Yes, babethread shows likewise sometimes.

Seen it before, still painfully stupid though

[Kralizec]

I think in the Jackass movie one of the guys fires a bottle rocket type firecracker out his rear. There’s a warning on those movies for a reason people, only trained professionals should be firing rockets out their brown eye.

Life imitates art.

I thought of Jackass as well, almost immediately (saw #2 just last week)
I can see why you'd put hazardous objects in your rectum if you're getting paid for it, but...

[CrossLOPER]

I thought of Jackass as well, almost immediately (saw #2 just last week)
I can see why you'd put hazardous objects in your rectum if you're getting paid for it, but...

They're a bunch of retarded teens. What do you expect?