Playing as the HRE on medium, I have not seen this effect. Despite having poor defenses in the north and east, the Danes, Poles and Hungarians have so far honoured their alliances with me. The Venetians tried a sneak attack, probably egged on by that damn pope, but this has been my only war 50 turns into the game. The French are none too friendly though, since I'm allied with England, the Milanese are looking at my recently conquered Venice with their greedy little eyes, and the Danes have just gone to war with the Poles, so something is bound to happen soon.
I too would like a "declare war or get the hell out!" diplomacy option, especially for the Catholics who really can't afford to get into too many wars as the aggressor.
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