oh my freaking god.......

this is the perfect example of a total failure lol.


i was playing m/m as the french. I was ranked number 1 in the world and was mass producing chivalric knights by roughly turn 35. I had over 30000 florins and owned all of modern day france besides caen. i also owned the two medditeranean islands, cagliari and the other one whos name escapes me right now. Anyways, i was pretty much a freaking beast. It all started with the English, who, at turn 31, i think, turned on me (i was their ally) and attacked bruges. I easily defeated their army of two longbowmen (idk what the AI was thinking). I attempted to take caen with prince louis, who, by this timehad full dread and full command and a crapload of dfk and chivalric knights. Believe it or not, a random danish assasin came outta nowhere, killed my prince, and then my kickass army two turns later turned to rebels. darn. But im not even close to getting started. a couple turns later, denmark got excommed. Since antwerp was right next to bruges, and it was under danish control, i figured i might as well dominate them. I sent 3 spies in to antwerp, and built ANOTHER huge dfk and ck army with my new heir, who was pretty decent, although he had chivalry instead of dread. I besiege antwerp...and click end turn. Now, here's the fun part (Not for me). HRE made an alliance w/ denmark and Milan. Hre took metz from me with their best general (at least, i hope he's their best!!) They then besieged Paris, Rheims and Dijon. My three biggest money makers at the time. I had low garrison b/c all my garrison was besieging antwerp lol. Then comes the red death. And by red i mean denmark. 4 full stacks of denmark armies dominate my new faction heir, defend antwerp and then take bruges. England takes rennes and angers. Spain and Portugal (lmao) come from behind and take toulouse and bordeaux. Now i'm left with Paris and Marseille, and my two underdeveloped island cities. Not for long though. I made an alliance w/ milan at first, and it held up until turn 41, i think. They attacked marseille and one of my island cities (the one w/ the silver mines) and invaded them. Voila. All i've got is Rheims (they took Paris later and i was able to win back Rheims, although it was heavily sacked and damaged by the hre...and i had been deep in the red for about 8 or 9 straight turns) and the northern island city. Oh yea, i have tunis now lol, because i had been crusading in jerusalem, but i pillaged every egyptian city, eliminating them, and was on my way to tunis when all this hapened in about 6 or 7 turns (i don't recognize the beginning of this chaos until about turn 37 i believe when i unsuccessfully attacked antwerp). i must've accidentally changed the difficulty settiing to vh/vh lmao bc this was ridiculous. I was fighting a 5 front war, i think, and my army was large, yes, but it was spread out widely across europe, and a lot of unlucky things happened (about half of my generals randomly either succumbed to bribes or died or w/e and then their troops succumbed to bribes lol).


so.....who wants to laugh at me first???

PS: I've given up this campaign lol. I've just started a new campaign with denmark. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em....i guess...