I don't do illegal drugs anymore. Now I just do the legal drugs. Tonight I'm on NyQuil and Sudafed. Let me tell you something, folks. Forget about cocaine and heroine. All you need is NyQuil and Sudafed. I'm telling you right now, I took the NyQuil five years ago. I just came out of the coma tonight before the ******* show! Claus Vanbulo was standing over my bed going, "Denis, get up! There's something the matter with Sunny! Hurry up!" I love NyQuil. Man, I love it! I love it. I love it. I love it. It's the best thing **** ever invented. Isn't it, huh? I love the name alone. NyQuil - Capitol N, small Y, big ******* Q! I love that ******* Q, don't you!? What a great advertising idea! Put a huge ******* Q on the box. They'll get high and stare at it. "The Q is talking to me! The Q is talking to me!"
-Denis Leary