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Thread: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

  1. #1
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Post When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Huzzah for Wisconsin! A man has a novel defense for a charge of "sexual gratification with an animal":

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Man has sex with dead deer

    Thursday, November 16, 2006

    A man is accused of having sex with the carcass of a deer that he found lying beside the road – but his lawyer denies that he committed bestiality, on the grounds that a dead deer isn't an animal any more.

    20-year-old Bryan James Hathaway of Superior, Wisconsin allegedly had sex with the deer corpse after he found it on the roadside on October 11 this year. Authorities say he told police that he noticed the deer lying in a ditch, and then moved the corpse into the woods.

    He is charged with 'sexual gratification with an animal' – but in a magnificent piece of legal footwork, his attorney argues that he can't be guilty of that crime, because a carcass isn't an animal, the Duluth News Tribune reports.

    Public defender Fredric Anderson filed a motion last week which claimed: 'The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass.'

    He said that if you try to include corpses in the category of 'animals', then 'you really go down a slippery slope with absurd results.' The only clear place to draw a line in the definition of what is an animal, and what isn't, was at the point of death, he argued.

    He gave the example of a roast turkey – with which it would be illegal to have sex under the braoder interpretation of the law – claiming that it was unreasonable to suggest it should still be classified as an animal for the purposes of law.

    In response, prosecutor James Broughner argued that a deer carcass is still an animal – pointing out that in his statement to police, Hathaway called the corpse a 'dead deer,' demonstrating that he still thought of it as an animal.

    Judge Michael Lucci noted when hearing the arguments that: 'I'm a little surprised this issue hasn't been tackled before in another case.'

    If Hathaway is convicted, he could serve up to two years in prison, because of a previous conviction in 2005 for shooting dead a horse called Bambrick. So that he could have sex with it.
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    Praefectus Fabrum Senior Member Anime BlackJack Champion, Flash Poker Champion, Word Up Champion, Shape Game Champion, Snake Shooter Champion, Fishwater Challenge Champion, Rocket Racer MX Champion, Jukebox Hero Champion, My House Is Bigger Than Your House Champion, Funky Pong Champion, Cutie Quake Champion, Fling The Cow Champion, Tiger Punch Champion, Virus Champion, Solitaire Champion, Worm Race Champion, Rope Walker Champion, Penguin Pass Champion, Skate Park Champion, Watch Out Champion, Lawn Pac Champion, Weapons Of Mass Destruction Champion, Skate Boarder Champion, Lane Bowling Champion, Bugz Champion, Makai Grand Prix 2 Champion, White Van Man Champion, Parachute Panic Champion, BlackJack Champion, Stans Ski Jumping Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Sofa Longjump Champion Seamus Fermanagh's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    You know you're getting excellent representation when your lawyer (barrister) is arguing for your innocence of the charge of bestiality by pointing out that it was "merely" necrophilia.

    Oh well, since this fellow is restricting himself to the dead, maybe he can at least get a Darwin award out of it.

    Lemur:

    Thanks again for your high-minded and erudite contributions to the Backroom.
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    Medical Welshman in London. Senior Member Big King Sanctaphrax's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Hmm, does anyone really think that locking this guy up is the best way of dealing with this? I can't see spending two years in prison doing him too much good.
    Co-Lord of BKS and Beirut's Kingdom of Peace and Love.

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    probably bored Member BDC's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Big King Sanctaphrax
    Hmm, does anyone really think that locking this guy up is the best way of dealing with this? I can't see spending two years in prison doing him too much good.
    Not many dead deers in a prison shower though.

    Brilliant story. I bet the lawyer was very proud when he thought that one up.

  5. #5

    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    It's a good point though, the dead don't suffer as the living.
    Abandon all hope.

  6. #6

    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Making love to venison is fine... you had me worried there for a moment!!

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    Senior Member Senior Member Ser Clegane's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Quote Originally Posted by article
    for shooting dead a horse called Bambrick. So that he could have sex with it.

    words fail me...

  8. #8

    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?



    I don't know what to say..


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    Banned ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    I heard people having Sex with Horses and Chickens but..... This takes the cake.... LMAO

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    ............... Member Scurvy's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?


  11. #11
    Standing Up For Rationality Senior Member Ronin's Avatar
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    Post Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    the important thing to know here is.....was it a male or a female deer?



    yes...because....it´s one thing to commit deer necrophilia.....but *gay* deer necrophilia...now that sort of thing cannot be tolerated!!!
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    Medical Welshman in London. Senior Member Big King Sanctaphrax's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin
    the important thing to know here is.....was it a male or a female deer?



    yes...because....it´s one thing to commit deer necrophilia.....but *gay* deer necrophilia...now that sort of thing cannot be tolerated!!!
    I imagine that anal sphincter rigor mortis would actually make that impossible, or at least very difficult.

    Ok, I'll shut up now.
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    Needs more flowers Moderator drone's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Is there a term for the combined act of bestiality AND necrophilia? I'm sure there is, but I'm not going to search for it from work...
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    Medical Welshman in London. Senior Member Big King Sanctaphrax's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Necrobestiality?
    Co-Lord of BKS and Beirut's Kingdom of Peace and Love.

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  15. #15

    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ser Clegane

    words fail me...
    The only word I need is 'A-hahahaha'.

  16. #16
    Pining for the glory days... Member lancelot's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Quote Originally Posted by drone
    Is there a term for the combined act of bestiality AND necrophilia? I'm sure there is, but I'm not going to search for it from work...
    insanity...?


    Quote Originally Posted by Big King Sanctaphrax
    Necrobestiality?
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    Yesdachi swallowed by Jaguar! Member yesdachi's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Upon reading the title I thought that it must be a trick and that the thread would have to be about something completely unexpected. Congratulations Lemur on upholding the backroom rule of keeping thread titles accurate and informative. Oh, and for blowing my mind with a crazy story!

    I am going to refrain from making the animal magnetism reference I considered.
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    Bringing down the vulgaroisie Member King Henry V's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    And here I was thinking that necrozoophilia was only a joke which my friends and I came up with other lunch.
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    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Hmmm, the authorities could be creative in return and charge the man with soliciting a prostitute if the deer was a buck or for being a pimp if he got a little doe.
    This space intentionally left blank

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    Bringing down the vulgaroisie Member King Henry V's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Gaaaaaaaaah! Not more punishing puns!
    www.thechap.net
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Oh deer...I think Greg was deadly serious.
    Abandon all hope.

  22. #22
    Shadow Senior Member Kagemusha's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Didnt his parents teach him that you dont play with the food?
    Ja Mata Tosainu Sama.

  23. #23
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    It is probably a bad idea to start another "fish & chips" style pun-a-thon. That was a painful read for all I think. I shall control myself from further abusing this thread. Sorry for the interruption.
    This space intentionally left blank

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    Senior Member Senior Member Oaty's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Big King Sanctaphrax
    I imagine that anal sphincter rigor mortis would actually make that impossible, or at least very difficult.

    Ok, I'll shut up now.

    Um Don't tell me how you came across this knowledge
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  25. #25

    Wink Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregoshi
    It is probably a bad idea to start another "fish & chips" style pun-a-thon. That was a painful read for all I think. I shall control myself from further abusing this thread. Sorry for the interruption.
    Why ? that was the only thread I could actually understand.

    In most threads I just feel like having the IQ of roadkill that thread actually made me feel smart. I deer say that I enjoyed it very moose much.
    Abandon all hope.

  26. #26
    Member Member Kanamori's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Assuming that there are laws against necrophilia that included animal corpses, it would be stupid to have it overlapping w/ beasiality. That would be charging him twice for the same crime, as opposed to giving a more severe punishment for sex with a deer corpse. If he did get convicted, the implications would result in moronic interpretations of existing laws, like animal abuse. So, if he was only charged w/ beastiality, then they messed up and don't have a chance to convict for something that was illegal and that he did do.

  27. #27
    Liar and Trickster Senior Member Andres's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    I don't know how to react

    or or



    I'll stick to

    He gave the example of a roast turkey – with which it would be illegal to have sex under the braoder interpretation of the law – claiming that it was unreasonable to suggest it should still be classified as an animal for the purposes of law.
    I do admire this lawyer though...
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    Master of useless knowledge Senior Member Kitten Shooting Champion, Eskiv Champion Ironside's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Seamus Fermanagh
    You know you're getting excellent representation when your lawyer (barrister) is arguing for your innocence of the charge of bestiality by pointing out that it was "merely" necrophilia.
    You'll see, the layer will argue that it isn't even necrophilia, because then having sex with a fur-coat could be classified necrophilia and then "you really go down a slippery slope with absurd results", according to the layer.

    I'm not entirely certain (as I don't know is the Swedish necrophilia laws covers animals), but he couldn't be convicted in Sweden on this one . As beastiality is legal oddly enough (removed 1944 and never restored) and as the deer is dead, then you can't argue that's animal abuse.
    We are all aware that the senses can be deceived, the eyes fooled. But how can we be sure our senses are not being deceived at any particular time, or even all the time? Might I just be a brain in a tank somewhere, tricked all my life into believing in the events of this world by some insane computer? And does my life gain or lose meaning based on my reaction to such solipsism?

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    The Blade Member JimBob's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Necrobestiality?
    Homopyronecrobeastiality
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    Praefectus Fabrum Senior Member Anime BlackJack Champion, Flash Poker Champion, Word Up Champion, Shape Game Champion, Snake Shooter Champion, Fishwater Challenge Champion, Rocket Racer MX Champion, Jukebox Hero Champion, My House Is Bigger Than Your House Champion, Funky Pong Champion, Cutie Quake Champion, Fling The Cow Champion, Tiger Punch Champion, Virus Champion, Solitaire Champion, Worm Race Champion, Rope Walker Champion, Penguin Pass Champion, Skate Park Champion, Watch Out Champion, Lawn Pac Champion, Weapons Of Mass Destruction Champion, Skate Boarder Champion, Lane Bowling Champion, Bugz Champion, Makai Grand Prix 2 Champion, White Van Man Champion, Parachute Panic Champion, BlackJack Champion, Stans Ski Jumping Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Sofa Longjump Champion Seamus Fermanagh's Avatar
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    Default Re: When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?

    Quote Originally Posted by JimBob
    Homopyronecrobeastiality
    ...resulting in spontaneous human combustion.
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