how to get kicked out of walmart

**octavian** · 05-12-2004, 23:48

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
>and stranding them at strategic locations.
>
>2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
>
>3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals
>throughout the day.
>
>4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to
>join.
>
>5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
>spray air fresheners.
>
>6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
>
>7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
>
>8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
>
>9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,
>especially in thin aisles.
>
>10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, I
>think we've got a code 3 in housewares, and see what happens.
>
>11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off
>and turn the volume up to full blast.
>
>12. Play with the automatic doors.
>
>13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, Hi. I haven't seen
>you in so long. etc. See if they play along.
>
>14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself
>loud enough for all to hear, Who buys this crap anyway?
>
>15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.
>
>16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are
>taking it for a test drive.
>
>17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
>behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
>
>18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store
>as your playing field.
>
>19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look
>mesmerized and say, Wow, magic
>
>20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and
>when they say you didn't buy it there say Hmmmm....I thought
>the customer was always right
>
>21. Move Caution : Wet Floor signs to carpeted areas.
>
>22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you
>will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
>
>23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
>aisles.
>
>24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
>
>25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
>I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave.
>
>26. TP as much of the store as possible.
>
>27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
>
>28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell hello
>upside down.
>
>29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
>say, Why won't you people just leave me alone?
>
>30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
>them yelling Red Rover.
>
>31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
>in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)
>
>32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
>battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
>
>33. Take bets on the battle from above.
>
>34. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
>
>35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
>the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
>possible.
>
>36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
>
>37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
>Mission Impossible.
>
>38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
>
>39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
>
>40. Say things like, Would you be so kind as to direct me to
>your Twinkies.
>
>41. Set up a Valet Parking sign in front of the store.
>
>42. Two words: Marco Polo.
>
>43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
>section, etc.
>
>44. Re-alphabetize the CD's.
>
>45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with
various funnels.
>
>46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
>something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
>
>47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
>
>48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to
>your knees and scream, No, no, its those voices again.
>
>49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
>
>50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to
>the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out
>much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
>
>*BONUS*
>
>1. Attempt to do all of the above in the same visit, without
>getting kicked out.
>
>2. Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you
>can make.

**son of spam** · 05-13-2004, 00:46

LMAO

I would change the calcs to say 1337 tho

**Csargo** · 11-18-2006, 05:14

Hilarious. I think I might try some of that.

**SCRIBE** · 11-18-2006, 07:13

"47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. "

I did that once, but I didnt do it for the heck of it.
I waited for my family to finish their shopping, I just didn't feel like looking during that day, like come on its the summer season and patio furnitures are out.

So while I was waiting, I was just sitting on those patio furnitures writing my poetry and reading Wordsworth for like 2 hours. About half way through one of the Wal Mart people came up to me and said "Are you waiting for anyone?"
I said, "Why yes, I'm just waiting for my family. Don't worry I won't cause any disruption."

After that the lady just smiled and left me be.
So like, what are they going to do..."He's reading Wordsworth, get him!"

"35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
>the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
>possible. "

I dont think Canadian Wal Marts carry hunting guns, just pellet guns though. But I guess you can still get away with saying creepy stuff like that.

">31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
>in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples) "

I like that one, some harmless fun.

But honestly, some of the things you stated are quite funny, albeit strange. But some are just plain annoying, that if someone hit me on the head while throwing random products in the automobile department...I'd knock him out.
Some are just F' up to be frank. If someone (if he/she were taking medication or not) actually did all those things in one visit, I bet by the time they reached #20 on the list, your poor hide would be heading to the security office.
Did you develop this list through experience or was it all just theory?

Crazy list by the way.

**CountArach** · 11-18-2006, 08:17

lmao! That list is hilarious!

**ZombieFriedNuts** · 11-18-2006, 17:41

I love it, but you forgot making a fort.

**Crazed Rabbit** · 11-18-2006, 19:41

>2. Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you
>can make.

Eh, just make sure it really looks like a toy gun. Even then, it's stupid.

But a funny list!

Crazed Rabbit

**Csargo** · 11-18-2006, 23:22

I figured someone would notice but that was posted in 2004. Some time ago I found it while looking around.

**ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88** · 11-19-2006, 00:27

LOL, didn't even notice till I read your post jsut now Csar LMAO

**Hepcat** · 11-19-2006, 06:23

Well although we don't have walmart over here, I work at a supermarket and did think it would be quite fun on April fools day or something to convince one of the managers to say over the speaker system.

"Attention staff, Islamic extremists have taken over isle 11, that is Islamic extremists in isle 11, thank you."
or something like that, though nobody wants to.

**CrossLOPER** · 11-19-2006, 08:32

Here's one: Get a BUNCH of people together (one hundred plus), run through the store aisle by aisle screaming random crap while waving rusty farm implements. Do this for about a minute before sounding the retreat horn.

BONUS: Demand control of the store from the manager.
BONUS 2: Wrest control of the store from the manager.
BONUS 3: Hold it until relieving forces move in.
BONUS 4: Leave nothing but scattered Pokemon merchandise in your wake.

**Samurai Waki** · 11-19-2006, 08:37

Get about a 100 guys, dress em' in furs and giant war axes, then hire a bunch of women to randomly walk about the isles and pretend to be shopping.

At a certain time of the day, have the Vikings rush the store, knocking down displays and such, and stealing the women before running out the door again (with a woman or two over the shoulders.)

Heck, you could even dress as Mongolians which would be equally fun.