Funny chat logs thread II

[GoreBag]

The last one got time off for bad behaviour indefinitely, so let's try to keep things at a dull roar this time around. My offering to get things started:

<Hannibal99> i heard the japanese respect gays
<Spartakus> yeh
<Hannibal99> like me
<Hannibal99> errr

I have a feeling that most of these will end up coming from home.

[Ice]

The last one got time off for bad behaviour indefinitely, so let's try to keep things at a dull roar this time around. My offering to get things started:

<Hannibal99> i heard the japanese respect gays
<Spartakus> yeh
<Hannibal99> like me
<Hannibal99> errr

I have a feeling that most of these will end up coming from home.

That's a bit dry, but it is a bit funny.

[edyzmedieval]

Take some from www.bash.org and then you can paste them here so we can laugh.

[ZombieFriedNuts]

form http://www.bash.org/?top
<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

[Reenk Roink]

<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

This is the most ridiculously stupid thing I've ever seen!

[ZombieFriedNuts]

just a thought are all the threads from bash.org real?

[LeftEyeNine]

Just a reminder: Be careful with swear words (use full asterisks). Now keep on please, that's quite fun.

[Dutch_guy]

Two good ones...

<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

--------

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG ****
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT ***
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

Two good ones...

<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

--------

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG ****
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT ***
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

lol good ones, funny

[Prodigal]

<WiLdSeXyPrInCeSs> i luv guyz where would they be wifout us gals???
<XeNoX> Still in the Garden Of Eden you gullible *****.

--------------------------------------------------------

<Jesse> hello, I am Jesse, male, 28 years old, caucasian, and am looking for friends to chat with. I hope to see you online
<Amanda`> I HOPE TO SEE YOU FACE-DOWN IN A QUAGMIRE WITH A NINE IRON LODGED BETWEEN YOUR SHOULDER BLADES

[Kongamato]

Bit of a story behind this one. I had a dream with the non-word "smorching" in it, so I googled the word when I woke up and found the chat logs of an asian stock trading chat room. I don't know if the logs are translated or the people are writing in Engrish, but there are some weird things on there.

I believe it reads bottom to top.

Lilian T: no business when stock market is good. cari makan when stock market is bad. hit and run
Lilian2: missy, that Lilian T is not me la. She where know fengshui.
missy: wats smorching???
polkadot: dont use sk-11 make your skin thin when smorching blood come out
missy: lilian go back to sleep. padan muka. yesterday tell u watch closing u sleep ha. now u go deep sleep.

hotcili60: jz, go watch the last samurai (tom cruise) cd. see if u can find any hidden tots in it or not. Then come back here for yr next session.
bull&bear: MTD will come back , that;s for sure
kiddy: jz, Thanks.
Joey Y: aiyoooooooo....so yellowish underwear. good protection from losses. only little little gain. market cannot go far. earthquake in neighbouring country. falling commodities prices.

escape: bomb. r u targeting that to the people who kill the market?
missy: showtime
kiddy: escape, Do you think Bursa & SC should draw up rules on designation of counters?
BOMB: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMB!!!!!!!
escape: iris designated due speculative without facts n figures to prove. then 90pc of ctrs hv to be designated also.
kiddy: jz, I threw the roses and kept the useless weed in my garden. Keep useless weed!!

[Marshal Murat]

What....the....hell.....

[GoreBag]

Bump.

<Spartakus> bah
<Spartakus> I always end up talking about fat women for some reason
<Spartakus> it's like an hour since last time

He's a class act.

[Craterus]

Link to first thread - It's got some funny ones.

[Caius]

keep them coming!

[Caius]

<born1986> wtf isn't my disc drive working
<born1986> i ****ing worked on that essay for three friggin' hours in school
<born1986> i now i cant finish it 'cos my ****** drive ain't working
<Z00ass> you got the right drivers?
<born1986> hell yes
<born1986> it was working fine yesterday
<born1986> why does this **** always happen to me?
<Z00ass> maybe that little clip on the side is i nthe wrong position
<born1986> i havent touched it since school
<born1986> i'm growing impatient
<born1986> ANGRY even
<Z00ass> throw that **** out tha window

. . .

<born1986> OMG i ****** did it!!!
<born1986> ****!!!!!
<Z00ass> it works?
<born1986> no, i threw it out the window
<Z00ass> the disk?
<born1986> NO the whole drive
<born1986> i live on the 6th floor, made a nice *smash*
<Z00ass> :D
<born1986> **** **** ****
<born1986> THE DISK WAS STILL INSIDE
<born1986> brb

. . .

<born1986> ****
<Z00ass> what? did ya break it?
<born1986> well i couldn't open the drive
<born1986> so i had to pound it against a rock
<Z00ass> :o
<born1986> quite HARD
<born1986> and you know what?
<born1986> that ****** disk wasnt even there
<Z00ass> ???
<born1986> i got so mad i threw the remaiders of the drive on to the freeway
<born1986> and when i got back upstairs i foud the disk inside my bag
<Z00ass> lol
<born1986> I NEVER EVEN PUT IT IN THE DRIVE
<born1986> i'm actually cryin right now

. . .

<born1986> wonder if i could make that drive work again
<born1986> brb



<Volt9000> .. WHY THE **** DOES MY FLOPPY DISK DRIVE NOT WORK
<Volt9000> oh wait nm
<Volt9000> there's no disk in it

[Hepcat]

<Darth_Vader> Obi Wan never told you about your father...
*** GODZILLA is now known as Obi_Wan
<Skywalker> he left us!
<Obi_Wan> thats right i didnt
<Skywalker> what?
<Darth_Vader> you did so...play the part damnit!
<Skywalker> why?
<Obi_Wan> fine
<Darth_Vader> Its Likes line
* Obi_Wan tells Skywalker that his dead was killed by Darth
<Darth_Vader> lukes line
<Obi_Wan> sarroy
<Darth_Vader> thats better
<Obi_Wan> *sorry
<Skywalker> err..
<Skywalker> why?
<Obi_Wan> am i dead yet?
<Elvis> Godzilla 1984 was decent movie
* Darth_Vader swings lightsaber and kills Obi_Wan
<Darth_Vader> now you are
<Skywalker> nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
* Obi_Wan tells Luke to run
<Obi_Wan> run Luke!!!
<Skywalker> I will not run
<Elvis> So was the first Godzilla
* Obi_Wan slaps Luke
* Darth_Vader turns to face Luke
<Obi_Wan> i said run
* Skywalker runs
<Elvis> No one likes Godzilla it would seem
<Darth_Vader> Thanks alot Obi_Wan
<Obi_Wan> aha.
<Darth_Vader> I wanted to spend some quality time with my son...
<Skywalker> what?
* Obi_Wan goes and binges with Yoda
<Skywalker> I am not your son
<Darth_Vader> ...Damn it...
<Obi_Wan> you told him?
<Obi_Wan> you just ruined it
<Skywalker> who?I?
<Obi_Wan> i tried to keep it a secret
<Obi_Wan> but noooooo

This little episode is taking place right now at the .Org chat.

[Zalmoxis]

<born1986> wtf isn't my disc drive working
<born1986> i ****ing worked on that essay for three friggin' hours in school
<born1986> i now i cant finish it 'cos my ****** drive ain't working
<Z00ass> you got the right drivers?
<born1986> hell yes
<born1986> it was working fine yesterday
<born1986> why does this **** always happen to me?
<Z00ass> maybe that little clip on the side is i nthe wrong position
<born1986> i havent touched it since school
<born1986> i'm growing impatient
<born1986> ANGRY even
<Z00ass> throw that **** out tha window

. . .

<born1986> OMG i ****** did it!!!
<born1986> ****!!!!!
<Z00ass> it works?
<born1986> no, i threw it out the window
<Z00ass> the disk?
<born1986> NO the whole drive
<born1986> i live on the 6th floor, made a nice *smash*
<Z00ass> :D
<born1986> **** **** ****
<born1986> THE DISK WAS STILL INSIDE
<born1986> brb

. . .

<born1986> ****
<Z00ass> what? did ya break it?
<born1986> well i couldn't open the drive
<born1986> so i had to pound it against a rock
<Z00ass> :o
<born1986> quite HARD
<born1986> and you know what?
<born1986> that ****** disk wasnt even there
<Z00ass> ???
<born1986> i got so mad i threw the remaiders of the drive on to the freeway
<born1986> and when i got back upstairs i foud the disk inside my bag
<Z00ass> lol
<born1986> I NEVER EVEN PUT IT IN THE DRIVE
<born1986> i'm actually cryin right now

. . .

<born1986> wonder if i could make that drive work again
<born1986> brb



<Volt9000> .. WHY THE **** DOES MY FLOPPY DISK DRIVE NOT WORK
<Volt9000> oh wait nm
<Volt9000> there's no disk in it

That made me laugh.

[dacdac]

^that was great while it lasted. I was Obi_Wan by the way for those of you who are curious. On another note, dont go to the chat right now, Elvis is still ranting about Godzilla and the destruction of Tokyo. (another long story.)

[Caius]

Motep was Darth Vader and I Skywalker.

Where are you, Motep?

[Patriarch of Constantinople]

The last one got time off for bad behaviour indefinitely, so let's try to keep things at a dull roar this time around. My offering to get things started:

<Hannibal99> i heard the japanese respect gays
<Spartakus> yeh
<Hannibal99> like me
<Hannibal99> errr

I have a feeling that most of these will end up coming from home.

I remember that one, I was pretty new.