Small ones are akin to "dead multiplayer communities" so they are not good for that reason.

Big ones are not good because big ones means the dev is actively nerfing the game to crap from week to week based on the ludicrous ramblings of the vocal majority of bad players.

So neither is a good option in my view. I'd like to see big ones start sprouting out with devs who take an anti-nerfing philosophy to heart, but I doubt that will become reality.