Software Problem

[InsaneApache]

Cleaning out my inbox I found this from a year or so back.

Subject: Tech Question
To: Tech. Support

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began with unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favourite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please HELP!!!
Thanks,
A Troubled User.

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:
This is a very, very common problem.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance! Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1, Hugs 4.3 and Diamonds 5.0 ! !
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck.

[Fragony]

When I read this the first time people were still using wooden-club 1.0 and an integrated cave system.

Those were the days.

[CrossLOPER]

System restore! No...REFORMAT!!!!!

[Hepcat]

When I saw the title I wondered why it wasn't in the Hard- and Software section. Now I know.

[naut]

When I saw the title I wondered why it wasn't in the Hard- and Software section. Now I know.

Same.

[Csargo]

lol

[doc_bean]

Well you could always just start over and go for Wife 2.0 ...

[Banquo's Ghost]

Well you could always just start over and go for Wife 2.0 ...

Yeah, but the license isn't transferable so you'll have to get a completely new one and support the old version. This often produces a lot of system conflicts.

[doc_bean]

Yeah, but the license isn't transferable so you'll have to get a completely new one and support the old version. This often produces a lot of system conflicts.

Well you shouldn't just let Wife 1.0 lay around. You'll have to pay licensing forever then. Perhaps some other chap could use Wife 1.0 ? Then he could pay for the license and you'd get off relatively cheap.
Failing that, you should try and find a good version of the Divorce Lawyer uninstall software, a good version costs a lot of money, but they can make getting ridding of Wife 1.0 so much easier...

[InsaneApache]

You'd have to re-format the hard drive to terminate
uninstall wife 1.0 before you can even attempt loading wife 2.0

[doc_bean]

You'd have to re-format the hard drive to terminate
uninstall wife 1.0 before you can even attempt loading wife 2.0

Well, there are some special programs like Mormon which allow dual boot(y)ing

[Banquo's Ghost]

Well you shouldn't just let Wife 1.0 lay around. You'll have to pay licensing forever then. Perhaps some other chap could use Wife 1.0 ? Then he could pay for the license and you'd get off relatively cheap.
Failing that, you should try and find a good version of the Divorce Lawyer uninstall software, a good version costs a lot of money, but they can make getting ridding of Wife 1.0 so much easier...

True enough, but you'll need the Pro version of Divorce Lawyer, and that's expensive.

You also have be careful while planning the changes, because if Wife 1.0 detects any of this activity, there's a good chance of downloading the worm Cuckold-Latino-Lover (or several variants) which will leave you looking exposed and vulnerable. If this happens early enough, you might find your child processes have been compromised and Wife 1.0 will no longer allow you root access.

[doc_bean]

True enough, but you'll need the Pro version of Divorce Lawyer, and that's expensive.

You also have be careful while planning the changes, because if Wife 1.0 detects any of this activity, there's a good chance of downloading the worm Cuckold-Latino-Lover (or several variants) which will leave you looking exposed and vulnerable. If this happens early enough, you might find your child processes have been compromised and Wife 1.0 will no longer allow you root access.

While true, Divorce Lawyer Pro works much better if Wife 1.0 has been infected by such a worm, since it leaves to OS more vulnerable.

[Banquo's Ghost]

While true, Divorce Lawyer Pro works much better if Wife 1.0 has been infected by such a worm, since it leaves to OS more vulnerable.

You'd think so, certainly, but this is a common misconception. In practice, Wife 1.0 will be enabled by the worm to run a personal instance of Divorce Lawyer Pro in another partition and the conflict this causes returns the BSOD error message "No Fault".

Once a "No Fault" divorce is re-booted into safe mode, the worm becomes irrelevant, as does any installation of Secretary in Short Skirt (although the Blonde, Leggy and Tanned mod, if previously used to upgrade SiSS, may still cause problems even in safe mode).

Wife 1.0 will now be safe to uninstall, but you will lose House 3.2 and Kids - The Revenge 4. You will however be able to keep Mortgage v0.9b (beta) as you won't be done with that for a long time.

[doc_bean]

You'd think so, certainly, but this is a common misconception. In practice, Wife 1.0 will be enabled by the worm to run a personal instance of Divorce Lawyer Pro in another partition and the conflict this causes returns the BSOD error message "No Fault".

I heard Divorce Lawyer Pro 1.337 can actually solve this error. It's important to note that 'higher' versions of divorce lawyer can override problems caused by 'lower' versions. Make sure you are yup to date !

Once a "No Fault" divorce is re-booted into safe mode, the worm becomes irrelevant, as does any installation of Secretary in Short Skirt (although the Blonde, Leggy and Tanned mod, if previously used to upgrade SiSS, may still cause problems even in safe mode).

Wife 1.0 will now be safe to uninstall, but you will lose House 3.2 and Kids - The Revenge 4. You will however be able to keep Mortgage v0.9b (beta) as you won't be done with that for a long time.

These last few programs seem to be region specific, Wife 1.0 's access to these programs (or specific a version) is determined by your local Law Server.



I'm worried about new technology though, I heard Microsoft Genuine Wife Platform automatically detects programs like SiSS and can cause you a hell of lot of trouble !

[Andres]

You are all wrong.

Just get Superior Divorce Lawyer 1.0 which will transfer Wife 1.0 to Another Guy 1.0.

Thanks to Superior Divorce Lawyer 1.0 Another Guy 1.0 will directly or indirectly cover all your expenses for 1) The Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.1.0, 3.3.1.1 and 3.3.1.2; 2) the support of Wife 1.0; 3) the support of Wife 2.0. 4) the support and maintenance of Children 1.1, 1.2 as well of Children 2.1 and 2.2

[Banquo's Ghost]

I'm worried about new technology though, I heard Microsoft Genuine Wife Platform automatically detects programs like SiSS and can cause you a hell of lot of trouble !

Of course, all these problems can be avoided by replacing the server software running Man OS Build 3 "Neanderthal". If your hardware supports it, install New Man Ultimate Edition, and Wife 1.0 will purr along with no conflicts. Wife software is simply not vulnerable to worms of the Cuckold or any other class with New Man installed.

You can even get superuser privileges just by touching a button (no need for the command line, unless you're into that).

[InsaneApache]

A new plug-in; Divorce 1.4 should help to root out any problems with Wife 1.0. Be aware though this is an extremely expensive solution and should only be used as a last resort.

Much cheaper to eliminate remove Wife 1.0 from your hard drive by using the Fdisk utility and re-installing girlfriend 7.0.

Thus bypassing Lawyer 1.2 and Barrister 3.4 (latest edition)