The trick is in the balance. You want to play slow, but not so slow that you can't stand on two feet. Example? In a current game as Denmark (call it as you want) I had to desperately conquer something because of the massive Holy Roman Empire that was forming under my little peninsula. The HRE at the start of the game was loosing badly and used to be hard-pressed by surrounding factions, but somehow, some time later, it started winning battles and expanding, and expanding, and expanding. It's year 1302 right now with 1 year per turn. So about 50 turns ago I started my invasion of Britain and finally after much pain, suffering, treachery and cunning I've managed to conquer the whole of it (pitting England against Scotland, making sure to abuse when a faction was excommunicated, I sued to peace Scotland desperatly at one time, and so on).
Now Great Britain (and Ireland, I guess) is a great locomotive for the standards of my meagre Scandinavian economy. Yes, the English are still alive (whatever they should be called now) in the north of France, and they do invade from time to time, but because they only have two provinces their stacks are weak enough to be beaten by my Militia Island Defense Army (free upkeep, hurray!).
So, what I suggest is that you go slow indeed to face really cool stuff like this super Holy Roman Empire I have in my game and also a Spanish Leviathan that owns all of Spain, bits of France and the whole of Western North Africa. But be aware: you do need to expand a bit! Just a bit, just enough. Getting the entire Great Britain was overkill, I should've done what I'm doing now, taking the Northen provinces of Russia.
Go slow, expand as little as you can but as much as you need. By the time you think you're done expanding, hopefully there will be powerfull enemies for you to face.
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