Dances With Wolves - An Egyptian AAR

[kublikhan3]

This is my first AAR/fan fiction. I am playing as the Egyptian faction. It is played on VH/VH, vanilla M2TW, no patches.


Dances with Wolves : an Egyptian AAR


I am Al-Shadi, official record keeper of the Egyptian Empire. It is the year 1236. Our lands our vast, our armies supreme, and yet our empire is in turmoil. It seems our enemies have finally taken notice of our rising power and have banded together against us. The long story of how we got into this bind has been told and retold over over the years, until the truth is hard to distinguish anymore. Yet I will try to retell this tale as best I can...

Foundations Of An Empire
Our empire began many years ago as a small collection of city-states. We were no more powerful than any of the other would-be empires of our time, yet we knew in our hearts we were better than any of them. In fact, our Sultan even made it a crime to address a foreigner as an equal and as a matter of course referred to them as "dogs". Diplomats and heads of states were not spared this title either, and it was not long before our relations began deteriorating with all other empires. This didn't seem to matter to the Sultan for he was supreme in his belief that they were all inferior. This was not a diplomatic Sultan, and his tactless nature had sown the seeds of the Egyptians becoming the most hated faction in the world.

The first and foremost goal during those early days was rapid expansion. But where to expand to? We had the Moors to the west, The holy lands to the northeast, the Turks north of the holy lands, and the Byzantines north across the sea. We surveyed the Moorish lands to the west and found them unworthy of our expansion. Large desert filled territories, it would take weeks to track across these lands and after their conquest we would find ourselves in early conflict with the Christian empires. No, better to leave the Moors on our western boarder and expand elsewhere. The Turks and Byzantines were judged too far away for our early expansion efforts. The holy lands to the northeast looked much more inviting. Close by, rich, and under rebel control, they would be easy targets. Our great Sultan had an even lower opinion of rebels than he had of foreign empires. Whereas he referred to foreigners with the lofty title of "dogs", he referred to rebels simply as "slime". He knew the Christian dogs would try to take the holy lands for themselves, but decided it was better to fend off the dogs then let them crap all over the holy land.

And so it was that our first task was at hand: seize the holy lands as quickly as possibly. To accomplish this task the Sultan emptied all of our garrisons and hired every mercenary available to beef up are armies. He formed our forces into 2 mighty armies and sent them conquering. The battles to secure the holy lands were in reality unremarkable, yet the sacking of these cities bestowed a wonderful bounty of gold into the Sultans coffers. So much so, that within a few years of the Sultans rise to power, we were now the richest empire in the world. He used this new found wealth to buildup our cities, and started training more calvary forces who the Sultan felt were especially effective at killing dogs.

Adana looked like it might be problem, as it had a very large garrison defending it. Even more troublesome, the Turks had armies lurking around Adana. If we took the city our armies would be decimated in the great battle and we would be easy targets for the Turkish dogs. We briefly paused our conquests to wipe up some slime that was lurking around our empire and to beef up our depleted armies while we pondered this predicament. Then to our great delight, the Turks solved this problem for us. They layed siege to Adana with a large force and were predictably defeated by the powerful Adana garrison. This killed two birds with one stone, or as the Sultan put it "the dogs got slimed". Adana was now weak enough to be easily wiped out by our forces. As an added bonus, the Turkish armies were now weakened so that we were unchallenged in the immediate area. Still, the Sultan wanted the Turks weakened even further before starting a war with them. And he was concerned that with all of forces stationed in the north, we were leaving our home cities dangerously exposed in the south.

Expansion
The Sultan's chief advisor was Al-Musa. Al-Musa was both competent and practical. His competence served the empire well, but his practical nature at times had him in conflict with the rather odd views of the Sultan.

"We must weaken these Turkish and Moorish dogs on our border before we make war on them."
"But Sultan, how are we to weaken them without going to war? Bribe their neighbors to attack them?"
"Stop thinking like a dog! You do not bribe your dogs when you want them to do something you order them. We shall order our dogs to attack the Christians with a Jihad."
"But sir, the Jihad is for benefiting all of Islam! We cannot use it as a tool to weaken our Islamic brothers!"
"I tell you they are not our brothers they are our dogs! And the Jihad is a tool to command our dogs! Now signal the Jihad!"
"As you wish Sultan. Where shall I direct the Jihad?"
"Hmmm.... Lets see.... Direct the Jihad at Rome. We shall see how the Kennel Master likes it when we take his kennel away from him."

"Kennel Master" was a special title the Sultan reserved for the Pope, as he viewed him as the head of the Christian dogs. The Sultan also referred to foreign controlled cities as "kennels". And so it was that a Jihad was called down on Rome. The poor unsuspecting Turks and Moors fell for the trap and sent their armies against Rome. We had both our great armies waiting on the Turkish border and took their two closest territories before they even knew what hit them. The Turks offered some token resistance, but with their defeat at Adana and their armies off on a crusade, they were easy prey. Soon all of the Turkish territories were under our control and the Turks were no more.

"Sultan, your conquest of the Turks was legendary! I have never seen such a feat! How did you defeat them so quickly?"
"Ah, it was indeed a masterful plan. Firstly, I waited for the Turks to cripple themselves at Adana. Secondly, I crippled them further with a Jihad so they would send their armies away. Thirdly, I got rid of the last of our infantry forces and formed two all calvary armies. Our armies our now the fastest armies in the world. Fourthly, I added three dog handlers[spies] to each army. So when the dogs hide behind the walls of their kennels, I simply have my dog handlers open the kennel door and my armies march in without wasting time in a costly siege."
"Magnificent. What will you do now great Sultan? March on the Moors?"
"No No. The Moors have proved their usefulness with the sacking Rome. They are good dogs. I got a good laugh when I heard that bit of news. The poor kennel master must bet seething after such a defeat. I will allow the Moors to continue to exist. I may have use of them in the future."
"Then who is your next target, the Russians?"
"No No. The Russian territories are as unappealing as the Moors were, their territories are too big. Even our speedy calvary armies will take too much time to cross their vast territory, especially coming at them from the south. No, we must direct our forces against the Byzantines. Order our armies to replace their losses then head for the Byzantine border. And take the last of the territories in our borders under the control of the slime."
"As you wish great Sultan."

The great building campaign began by the Sultan continued and was expanded to include the newly conquered Turkish territories. With no new conquests for the time being, our treasury was stretched thin. The sacking of dog kennels had proved to be a vital source of income for our empire. Even high taxes were not enough to cover our building costs and our coffers were quickly drained. With limited money available, we even occasionally had some of our build queues stall. Still, our magnificent cities went up and were truly spectacular to behold. Our empire was now the largest in the world and our trade was finally starting to bring in some income. Yet before we could continue our great expansion, fate conspired against our empire and dealt us several harsh blows.

Time Of Troubles
As the Turkish campaign drew to a close, our empire entered another era that would come to be known as The Time Of Troubles. It began with the death of our Sultan. He died from old age. He had created the greatest empire in the world, but now he was gone. Our entire empire mourned his passing. Some suspected foul play, he was after all the most hated man in the world. But most believed no one would dare strike down the leader of the Egyptians for fear of our reprisals.
The new Sultan had some big shoes to fill. He had even less respect for foreigners than the previous Sultan, and made the pet names of his predecessor official language as a sign of respect. He even added his own derogatory vocabulary. But the Sultan's death was not the end of our empire's pain, for soon after the Christian dogs called a crusade called upon us. The dogs were now marching on Jerusalem. And the third and final blow during the times of troubles was an invasion of our territories by Byzantine. Our armies were still recovering from the Turkish campaign and were not in position to repel a Byzantine invasion.

"So, the Christians called a dog parade down on us. So be it. We will wipe the floor with them."
"But Sultan, we need both of our armies on the Byzantine front! We can't afford to divert even one of them to defend Jerusalem. Byzantine is far stronger than the Turks were and they have two full armies already invading and more on the way! With our massive building campaign we can't afford to raise a third army. Our abysmal relations with the other empires mean their is no one to solicit help from either."
"Solicit help from a foreign empire? You would have us sleep with the dogs? Unthinkable! We might catch fleas! No, the solution to the dog parade will be to raise of force of militia to garrison Jerusalem. Their low cost and free maintenance for the first few units will serve us well. The maintenance of the remaining troops should not be a problem with our expanding trade income. Also, send what is left of our army from Jedda to join the garrison, after they finish cleaning up the slime down there."
"As you wish Sultan, but what about the Byzantines? Our armies are not in a position to repel them yet, I fear they will reach our cities before our armies will."
"Fear not for the dogs are slow by nature and made even slower by their decision to cross the desert rather than travel by road. Our armies will repel them before our cities feel their bite."

The Sultan's prediction of the slow speed of the Byzantine armies across the desert proved true. There was even enough time for the first of the Sultan's armies to intercept a crusading army. This bought more time for Jerusalem to build up its defenses. And it brought one of the Sultan's armies to the souther coast. With an army close to the sea, the Sultan came up with a new plan. Byzantine had massed enormous armies along the Byzantine-Egyptian border. It appeared an expensive and drawn out war of attrition was about to take place. But their armies were slow moving in the desert, and had left their interior cities very lightly defended. The sultan left one army at the border to repel the invading Byzantines, and had the other army board a newly commissioned navy to hit the enemy from the rear.

This amphibious army produced spectacular results. With our mainland forces not having took a single city from the Byzantines, our amphibious army took Nicosia, Rhodes, and Smyrna with minimal resistance. They then crossed the sea and landed on the Byzantine mainland. There, they took Corinth, Thessalonica, Durazzo and Sofia with modest casualties. After repelling 4 full invading armies and pausing for retraining, our mainland forces finally took Nicaea. Then both exhausted armies combined for the final assault on Constantinople. The sacking of all of these cities finally brought some much needed gold into the empire and put an end to the long Byzantine campaign, longer than the holy land and the Turkish campaigns combined. But there was still much clean up work to be done. Constantinople and Nicaea were huge cities and while their sackings brought in much gold, we didn't have enough troops left to maintain order. The Sultan was not happy with the rebellious nature of his newly conquered territories."

"Why would our own cities turn to slime? It is unthinkable!"
"Sultan it is not their fault! The dogs have poisoned their minds with their dog religion! We need only keep taxes low and show them the true light of Islam and they will fall into line."
"No! I have not the patience nor the inclination to coddle our citizens. They need to respect their Sultan now! Raise taxes to very high and move our armies outside the city. If they want to act like slime we shall treat them like slime. Let them rebel, we will just sack them again and add more gold to our coffers."
"As you wish Sultan. But this plan will take some time to implement and we will sustain further losses to our already weak armies. Hungary is eyeing Sofia and I suspect they will make war with us soon."
"Let them come. They will perish as do all who challenge us."

The engineered rebellions at Constantinople and Nicaea took some time to put down. And what was left of the Byzantine army had turned to slime. This slime had to be cleaned up before advancing further. After the second conquest of Constantinople and Nicaea, Al-Musa convinced the Sultan to move the capitol to Constantinople to keep a close eye on these rebellious subjects. Never again would they challenge the Sultan's power.

The Battles For Jerusalem
Much of the invading armies of the crusade were intercepted by our mainland army before even getting close to Jerusalem. However two managed to slip by when the army was down for retraining and fighting the Byzantines. Thus a professional army of dogs was now laying siege to one of the Sultan's great cities, defended by mostly militia forces.

Things were not looking too bright as the first battle of Jerusalem began. The dogs had brought up a ram to bash our gates open and two siege towers were approaching the walls. Our brave archers and towers took out many of the approaching enemy horde but their vile siege towers still found a place on our walls and their vile ram tore open our gates. With only four units of spearmen available, we stationed all of them at the gates and left our archers to fend for themselves.

The dogs wasted no time exploited the breach their ram had opened, and them came barking through the gate like mad hounds from hell. Our militia spearmen struggled valiantly against the enemy crusader knights and their pilgrim support but just did not have the armour to fight an extended battle against so many enemy forces. Our two units of horse archers tried to aid them with withering fire but our ranks were still thinning. Simultaneously, the enemy had brought their troops to our walls and were engaging our archers in hand to hand combat. Things looked bleak...

The enemy had established a beachhead inside our walls. As the last of our spearmen were dying, our general decided the moment of decision was at hand. He lead his bodyguards in a charge of the enemies left flank, while our other calvary unit hit them from the right. While stabilizing the line for the moment, the charge had not produced the desired result of routing the enemy forces and instead replaced our calvary as our attrition force in place of our now dead spearmen.

Things were looking a bit better on the walls. One of the units invading from the siege tower had been routed. This was at first an unexpected development, but when it was determined that the routing force was a pathetic unit of pilgrims, their rout made more sense. The archers near the second siege tower had moved out of the path of the invading enemy. While this had spared the frail archers from hand to hand combat and allowed them to continue raining arrows on the enemy, it also allowed an enemy unit inside our walls unopposed. This unit of pilgrims was now approaching the flank of the heavily engaged general. In an instant, our mamluk archers charged this force of pilgrims and immediately routed them. They then turned to the battle raging at the gate and charged in. They were joined by a second unit of charging mamluk archers. With most of his body guards dead, the general extracted himself from the battle. But the mamluks carried the day and the remaining enemy forces at the gate were routed. Our forces chased them all down and ensured that none of the dogs would survive.

After such a heroic victory, the second battle of Jerusalem seemed almost anti-climatic. Although much of the Jerusalem garrison was destroyed, it was quickly retrained up to full strength and the last army of the dog parade was defeated. Celebrations broke throughout the empire.

Dark Dealings
Meanwhile, others were not so happy about the fall of the Byzantine empire and the failed siege of Jerusalem.....

"Your Eminence, I regret to report to you that our grand crusade against the evil Sultan has failed. Jerusalem remains in Egyptian hands, all the crusading armies have been destroyed, and our puppets the Byzantines have been destroyed as well."
"How could this happen? You told me that the Byzantine army outnumbered the Egyptians two to one! You assured me that while the Egyptians were busy fighting them our crusade could easily slip by their armies and take Jerusalem with a backdoor attack! You also said the assassination of the Sultan would benefit us. But the new Sultan is even more ruthless than the old one."
"My apologies. I had not expected the Sultan to send his own backdoor force against the Byzantines. With all their interior cities taken, the war of attrition quickly turned against them. Also, only five of the Christian nations joined your crusade with a single army each. I had expected more to join. Our supporters failed to rally to our call in any large numbers."
"Those thick-headed idiots still wage war with each other and fail to see the threat from the Egyptian empire. With the buffer of the Byzantines gone, the Sultan will send his forces after a Christian nation next!"
"We can still turn this to our advantage eminence. This new threat the Egyptians now pose to Christianity will be felt even by your thick-headed supporters. I am certain I can....convince....all of them to join a new crusade. And more than one army a piece as well. But this is only the beginning. Our masterful plan includes for no less the four simultaneous thrusts against the Egyptian empire. Not even their great Sultan can defend against that.
"Tell me more of this plan."
"The main Christian force I already mentioned, a massive crusade launched by all of the Christian empires. The second and third thrusts of this attack come from the two Christian nations bordering the Egyptian empire: Hungary and Venice. Hungary has already made it plain they have hostile intentions against Egypt. It should not be hard to convince Venice as well. Since Venice has shown no open hostilities towards the Egyptians, they can pretend to be their allies. Then when the Egyptians make their move against Hungary, Venice strikes!"
"Impressive. What of the last thrust? By my count we have exhausted all of our Christian forces in the first three thrusts."
"Indeed. The forth thrust will not be a Christian force at all."
"Then who?"
"The Mongolians."
"You can't be serious! The Mongolians want us all dead!"
"True. But they are a long way from us, far on the other side of the Sultan's empire. With a few well placed bribes I am certain they can be convinced to march on the Egyptian empire. And their power is such that even the mighty Sultan will tremble before it."
"But what if the Sultan can defeat even the mighty Mongolians? What then?"
"Don't worry Eminence. The Thieves Guild considers all possibilities. Our plan has provisions to ensure that all 4 thrusts will strike where their empire is most vulnerable. But we need your help for that."
"What do you need of me?"
"The Sultan has a rather effective counter-spy network in place. The thieves guild has been unable to compile a list of the Sultan's most vulnerable cities. We need you to provide this information. If you ally with the Sultan, your diplomats would be able to roam free through his territory and gather all of the information we need to strike where he is most vulnerable."
"Hmmm. Securing an alliance with the Sultan will be no easy task. He is an arrogant, prideful, insulting, despicable man."
"You must use his pride against him. This is his greatest weakness. Flatter his strength. Ignore his insults. Beg him for his help. Insult your own abilities. He will take pleasure in having the Pope grovel on the floor in front of him. And it if your pride is stung in the process, take comfort in the fact that he will live to eat his words when our plan is put into motion."
"Very well. I will agree to this plan. But do not fail me again!"
"Don't worry Eminence. You will have your revenge. The Sultan will rue the day he order that Jihad on Rome. I shall see to it."

Celebrations, Preparations, Negotiations
Another enemy of the Egyptians had fallen, the Christian crusade had been defeated, and our sacking of the Byzantine cities(sometimes repeated sackings) brought in new wealth to our empire. These were glorious times for Egypt and a time of much celebration. The Time of Troubles was behind us and our building campaign was continuing apace. Our new Bazaars, shipwrights, and docklands where bringing much wealth to our empire. True, there were rumblings of war coming from Hungary, but the Sultan was unconcerned with these peoples. They would be dispatched as easily as the Byzantines and Turks before them were. What did way heavy on the Sultan's head were rumors of a terrible horde massing in the east. Traders had brought rumors of an army so terrible that one could do nothing but flee before it. The Sultan decided to transform Yerevan and Tbilisi into great fortress cities and stockpile them with the best desert archers, naffatun, and dismounted Arab calvary we could muster. He also began training two new armies in the east, to fight these "Mongolians" in the open should the need arise. The Sultan was in the middle of these preparations when he was interrupted by his new chief advisor, Habachi(Al-Musa had died of old age many years ago)...

"Sultan, there is an emissary here to see you."
"Send the dog away, I am busy."
"But sir, he hails from the mighty Venice empire and has traveled a great distance to see us."
"Fine fine. Send him in. But this had better be good."
"Announcing Guilelmo, from the grand empire of Venice."
<Guilelmo bows courteously. Sultan responds in his most diplomatic manner:> "Speak Dog. And be brief. I am most busy today."
<Guilelmo curses under his breath and continues> "Oh great Sultan. We know of your coming war with Hungary. We want you to know we have no love for Hungary either and wish to become your allies."
"And just why would I wish to ally with a dog such as you? You stink. Go bathe doggy."
<Guilelmo almost loses his cool. But he was well drilled for just such a response.> "We also heard rumors of a vast horde approaching from the east. We are certain you have heard the same rumors. You need not fight the Hungarians, the Mongolians, and us. Let us fight together instead. The truth is we need the strength of your great armies for we can't fight the Mongolians alone."
<Sultan considers this carefully.>"Hmmm, I suppose I could use another pet. Those stupid dogs the Moors failed in the Jihad I sent them on against the Danish, the only other faction to rival the mighty Egyptians in sheer power. Very well, I agree to your proposal. You may go back and tell your people that the great Sultan has agreed to make the dogs of Venice his pets."
<Guilelmo momentarily losses his cool at this latest insult but quickly regains his composure:> "Oh thank you great Sultan. We will make powerful allies."
"Yes yes. Leave now doggy. You begin to stink up my palace."

Yerevan and Tbilisi had been built into mighty fortresses and the eastern armies were coming along nicely, two full strength armies of mamluk archers commander by our latest generals eager to prove themselves in battle. The Sultan was quite pleased with his forces when he was interrupted again...


"Sultan, there is another emissary here requesting an audience."
"More dogs? Send them away, I don't need anymore pets and don't want anymore fleas. We still haven't gotten the smell of the last one out of the rugs. Why these European dogs can't bathe more than once a year is beyond me."
"This is no ordinary emissary, it is the Pope himself come to beseech you!"
"The kennel master is here? Very well send him in. I've been meaning to taunt him about losing Rome."
<Pope enters.> "Oh great Sultan, Thank you for seeing me."
"In Allah's name I have never seen such a wretched old dog as you. I did not think dogs could live to be so old and wrinkled. I have seen mummies that are younger and more attractive."
"Indeed I am of advanced age and am tired from such a long journey, so I will get right to the point. I seek an alliance with you. The Mongols are a threat to us all. Surely the Mongols would be foolhardy to attack the combined forces of Christianity and the Egyptians."
"I already have a pet. And one that didn't bark at me in a dog parade. Why would I want to make a pet of an old dog such as you? You couldn't even keep my pet Moors out of your kennel."
<Pope winces at this insulting reference to the loss of Rome to the Moors, the very thing that is driving his revenge> "I may be old, but I have the support of all of Christianity. Surely you would rather fight with us than against us?"
"Hmmm. I suppose it would be interesting to have the kennel master as a pet. Very well. I agree to your proposal."
<Pope begins to bow to show a sign of respect but this final insult is more than he can bare. He empties his bladder on the Sultan's Persian rug, such is the depths of his hatred. He quickly recovers his composure:> "Please forgive my display great Sultan. My advanced age has betrayed me and caused this unfortunate....accident."
<The Pope had enough of a smirk on his face to let everyone know it was no accident. Habachi was certain the Sultan will see this as the grave insult it was. He was worried this would enrage the Sultan to kill the Pope. Such a move might galvanize all of Christianity against the Egyptians. Habachi was relieved to see the Sultan's expression was more of annoyance than anger.>
<Sultan roles up a piece of paper and hits the Pope:> "That's a bad dog! You see Habachi this is what happens when you let dogs into your palace. They pee on everything. Get him out of here and don't let anymore dogs into my palace again!"
"My great apologies Sultan." <Habachi quickly escorts the Pope out. The Pope was furious at the Sultan's latest insults but had no opportunity to respond at the moment.> "Soon Sultan...You will get yours....Soon."

Treachery
Hungary finally invaded Egypt's borders and had an army lay siege to Sofia. Why they choose to send half an army of dogs to siege our city....that is within a days travel of one of our full armies....remains a mystery. We quickly routed the dogs and began eyeing their border cities. They were both rather weakly defended so we split our army in two and send one half to each city. With the help of our dog handlers, Bran and Bucharest fell to our forces in the same year. Our other army had been marching west towards the Hungarian capital of Budapest and it fell the next year. These Hungarians were proving to be even less worthy opponents than the Turks. Why they would declare war on us when they were so weak remains a mystery.
It didn't take long for the mystery to be revealed. The Year after Bucharest fell, Venice broke our alliance and declared war on us. They simultaneously laved siege to both Durazzo and Thessalonica. Such vile treachery would not go unpunished. We assembled a third army to relieve the besieged Thessalonica. We had to pull some troops from our army at Bran but it could not be helped, our cities needed aid now. We barely reached Thessalonica in time to destroy the dogs laying siege. Durazzo was no so lucky and fell to the dogs. This was the first unqualified defeat our empire had faced and it sent the Sultan into a rage. He sent the third army to quickly reclaim Durazzo. But he didn't stop there. He then marched the third army north to Ragusa, then to Zagreb, gobbling up two full strength Venetian armies along the way and many smaller ones. Meanwhile our second army had recombined and took our the last Hungarian city at Iasi. The Hungarians were no more.
There was little time for celebration however. For the next year the kennel master called down a dog parade on Constantinople. And 8 different dog empires declared war on us that same year! Although there were no parading armies spotted yet the Sultan found it prudent to reinforce all of our western armies and start building up a garrison at Constantinople. Not two years had gone by before the worst news of all hit: The Mongols had finally arrived, and they were uninterested in throwing themselves at our fortress cities of Tbilisi and Yerevan as we hoped, instead they were moving into our soft, unprotected interior. We sent our spy in the area to scout the strength of the closer of the two Mongol forces and the news he brought was not good. These were two full strength armies, manned by powerful veteran troops.

"I can't believe Venice and the Pope would betray us like this. The scope of their treachery is unimaginable! Why, the Pope still considers himself our ally!"
"Calm yourself Habachi. Sometimes your pets bite you. We have recovered from the damage the Venice dogs have done. And the Pope has no armies of his own left to send at us. All he can do is beg his Christian friends for help. They are not here yet. The immediate problem is these Mongols coming in from the east."
"Indeed. based on our spies report it seems the traders were not exaggerating the power of these people. Even if we somehow defeated both of their armies in the north, they have another three armies invading from the south! These dogs are tough."
"No, not dogs Habachi. These are much stronger than dogs. They are a ravenous pack of wolves looking to take the food of our soft interior cities. We cannot let this happen. Sent both of our eastern armies to intercept the northern Mongol force. And begin training replacement troops should we need to replenish our armies quickly before we dance with the wolves to the south."
"As you wish Sultan."

All Caught up
And so now you know the tale of how our empire got into its current bind. 8 empires crusading against us in the west, 5 Mongol armies invading from the east, and their are rumors of more Mongols on the way. I am not ashamed to tell you I do not share the Sultan's optimism on our ability to weather this storm. I fear for our empires survival. If somehow we do manage to live another day, I of course will tell you about it, for I am Al-Shadi, official record keeper of the Egyptian empire. Assuming I survive, stay tuned for my next Chapter: Dances With Wolves

[Wizzie]

Very nice, I like your style. Managing to find the perfect roleplay/story personality for the blitz strategy in the Total war games is pulled off with perfect subtlety and style. I'm looking forward to the next installment.

Perhaps this AAR has slipped through unnoticed because of the lack of screenshots and the longevity of the text, but personally I think that it adds to the no-BS style of play your adopting. Very nice indeed!

[kublikhan3]

I have another installment ready. I was able to get some screenshots this time. Also, I have been attempting to take real events from the game that make no sense to me an incorporate them into my story(Pope allying with me, Alliances that last 2 turns, abysmal relations with factions I have not even talked too, mongols getting destroyed then coming back, etc.) Hope you enjoy!

Dances With Wolves
This is how our empire looks at present:

As you can see our lands are vast, and our people are rightly proud of their achievements. The Mongolians seek to destroy all that. And they are more powerful than anything we have faced until now. We must be cautious. We must out-think them. For all of their might, they are still a stupid barbarian people. The sultan came up with a sound battle plan that looks promising. The two wolf northern armies are traveling together, it seems we will be forced to fight them at the same time. We only have two eastern armies ourselves, and we are outnumbered. Fortunately, our all cavalry armies are much faster than them and allows us to position our armies however we please. The sultan's plan calls for destroying the first wolf army as quickly as possible, before his reinforcements come up. To that end, we positioned our first army to pin down the enemy in a frontal assault, with the wolf reinforcements to the rear. Our second army would join the battle directly on the flank of the first wolf force. Our command and control would be limited to our main frontal force, and we would have to rely on the skills of generals to command our flanking force to victory. The deployments of our first army consisted of half a dozen mamluk archers comprising our front line. A second line of mamluk archers was right behind them. Our third and final line consisted of our generals and heavy cavalry forces. This deployment would keep our heavy cavalry out of harms way until the time was right. It would also produce a terrible rain of arrows to fall on any foe that got within range. As the enemy was weakened by our archer fire, our flanking force would come in and roll up the enemy flank:

As the battle started, the enemy moved to engage our frontal force. But by engaging us all along the line, they left their flank open to our second force, just as the sultan predicted. Our allied army had no trouble rolling up the enemy's flank. Seeing this development, our own heavy cavalry joined in the assault. Soon his entire line was collapsing. Since the wolf reinforcements included infantry forces and since they were further away than our forces, they could not come up in time to help their ally. The entire wolf first army was destroyed. But now our weary troops had to fight fresh wolf reinforcements. We still had some arrows left, so we opened up the second phase of the battle with a barrage of arrows from both of our armies. Meanwhile our heavy cavalry charged the enemy infantry archers, to limit the volume of return fire they were able to answer us with. Things were going well at first, but soon the enemy heavy lancers came to the aid of their infantry forces, we were out of arrows, and our heavy cavalry were outnumbered and surrounded. Fortunately, our mamluk archers are not helpless when deprived of arrows, they are an effect cavalry force as well. Our entire mamluk force, over a dozen cavalry units, charged into the battle and turned the tides on the wolves. The enemy general was killed, and the remaining troops started breaking one by one. We killed them all and put an end to the first battle of the wolves.

No rest for the weary, we had to double time our armies to south of Baghdad if we were to catch the second, larger wolf invasion force. Our spy reported they had three armies in their southern force and they were just as strong as the armies we just fought. For some reason, they seemed to be heading away from our cities, into the open desert. Why were they not traveling along road? Their trajectory put them on a heading towards Jerusalem, or possibly Damascus, but they were both a long ways away, especially when traveling by desert. No matter, our speedy cavalry armies could catch them no matter where they run. We doubled up our wounded troops and send the critically weak back to Yerevan and Mosul for retraining. We supplemented their loss with whatever cavalry mercenaries were available, plus some reinforcements we had in the area. The sultan's previous flanking strategy worked so well last battle that he decided to expand on it. Instead of just having one flanking force, he would have two. Then the enemy line would get hit from three different directions simultaneously. The plan worked perfectly. As the battle opened, our frontal assault force occupied the attention of the first wolf army. We had positioned ourselves so that we would only have to fight two of the three wolf forces this battle. As mamluks rained death on the wolfs, our flanking forces moved in and started collapsing both of the enemy flanks. Our heavy cavalry joined the assault and soon his entire line was collapsing. As the enemy reinforcements came up, they found themselves heavily outnumbered. The wolves fought tenaciously, but our now superior numbers carried the battle that day.

There was now only one wolf army left to deal with, and soon the Mongolians would be no more. After two ferocious battles, it seemed we had more critically wounded than able body troops left. Fortunately, there were only half as many wolves left to participate in this third and final battle. We gathered what remained of our still viable forces into two armies and fought this battle much the same as the first battle. Our depleted manpower meant we would kill their army slower this time, but since they had no more reinforcements to call upon we were victorious in the end.

After the final battle, our spies reported the Mongolians were no more. We had struck down the greatest army the world had seen! And we did it with but a fraction of the forces arrayed against us. Truly, these battles would go down in history and be studied for centuries to come. Celebrations broke throughout our empire as we could finally breath again. But there was still work to be done. The three battles while glorious, had all but decimated both of our eastern armies. Our nearest retraining center, Mosul, could not possibly handle retraining all of these troops. Many cities would have to be called upon to rebuild our eastern armies. Both armies were broken up and sent to cities as far away as Adana, Antioch, Jerusalem, Tbilisi. In all over half of our eastern cities were participating in the rebuilding of our armies. And then there was another matter to deal with. How had the wolves managed to invade at such opportunistic places? Had they struck at our cities of Tbilisi or Yerevan, we would have easily sent them scurrying away with minimal loss of life. But they invaded at our must vulnerable points. If it were not for our superior speed we may very well have lost some cities. Many unanswered questions. The Sultan was in the middle of contemplating this when he was interrupted with disturbing news...

"Sultan! Terrible news! We have just heard from eastern traders than another force of wolves is approaching our border!"
"What?!? How is that possible? Our spies reported the wolves destroyed did they not?"
"They did Sultan. It appears they were in error. The wolves approach has been confirmed by three different traders."
"There is something more going on here than a simple wolf invasion. There are too many failures of our intelligence services, too many lucky strikes by our enemies."
"While I would tend to agree, we must first deal with the threat the wolves pose. With our armies broken up, our eastern territories our incredibly vulnerable."
"Very well. Reassemble both eastern armies as quickly as possible. And start training some defensive forces in Baghdad."
"Your will!"

Both armies had been reassembled near Aleppo when the wolves arrived with their third invasion force. Our spies reported they had four armies with them, their largest force yet. Worse still, they choose to lay siege to Baghdad. Baghdad was not an impressive fortress city like Tbilisi or Yerevan, all it had was one ring of walls protecting it. The garrison consisted of a paltry six units of militia, three spearmen and three archers. This would barely slow down a wolf army let alone defeat it. We rushed our armies eastward as quickly as they could go and moved our Tbilisi and Yerevan garrisons south to Mosul. Our armies only made it as far as Edessa when the battle of Baghdad began. To say it was a slaughter is an understatement. They pounded the city walls with their artillery for what seemed like hours. Not content with one breach in our walls, they opened up five. Our forces were stationed in the town square but only managed to kill one hundred enemy troops before falling themselves. Over 300 casualties. This was the most lopsided defeat in out entire history. Worse still, the city was sacked after our defeat and the wolves left it to turn to slime. To say the Sultan was not happy with the loss of Baghdad is an understatement. We were in the process of training a third eastern army, but it was not ready for battle yet. Habachi pleaded with the Sultan to wait for the third army to come up but the sultan was set on getting his revenge now.

The fourth battle of the wolves would take place with the same two eastern armies that fought the previous three battles. We positioned out forces much the same way we did for the first battle, ensuring we would only have to fight two of their armies in this battle. But this time we positioned ourselves so that the enemy reinforcements would arrive on one flank, while our two armies enveloped the enemies other flank:

The tactic worked well. But Mongol artillery was sending flaming death our way. Most of the shots had missed thus far, but we decided to put those trebuchets out of commission before they started finding their mark. We sent in our heavy cavalry to deal with them when the wolves sent the very forces of hell itself at us. We later learned from prisoners that the device was called a "rocket launcher" and it incinerated one of the cavalry forces we sent. Our mamluk archers and cavalry later took out the rocket launchers and trebuchets and won the battle. But we lost over a third of our own forces in the process, and one of the enemy armies was not completely destroyed:


After the battle, the wolves kept their three remaining armies close together, forcing us to fight all three of them at the same time. It seems the wolves were getting smarter with each battle. With this development, Habachi was finally able to convince the Sultan to wait for the third army to come up before engaging in the final battle of the wolves. The Sultan had one more trick up his sleeve. He dispatched some spies to the enemy reinforcement armies. Their goal was to cause as much havoc as possible and delay the enemy reinforcements from entering the battle. The plan worked. When the fifth battle of the wolves started, the enemy reinforcements were delayed considerably and we were able to surround and destroy the first wolf army:

Our main army was rather weak and our largest reinforcement force was a bit slow in coming up, so we resorted to targeting the enemy general early on to break the moral of his troops. A bit of a dishonorable tactic perhaps, but in war nothing is more honorable than victory. We targeted the general of the second wolf army as well and soon their troops were scurrying about in all directions. The fifth battle of the wolves was our largest battle yet, with over 4000 troops, mostly cavalry, fighting it out. When you consider one man of cavalry equals about two men of infantry, that works out to the equivalent of over 8000 men fighting it out. In the end we were victorious, but we lost over forty percent of our already depleted eastern armies in the battle:

A few wolf troops survived the final battle, but these are nothing more than an annoyance now and will be no trouble to dispatch. The major threat in the east has ended, yet there are many tasks yet to be completed. The last few wolf stragglers need to be eliminated. Our eastern armies must be rebuilt again. Baghdad must be reclaimed. And most importantly, this intelligence problem that is afflicting our empire must be resolved if we are to regain our offensive momentum and stop these incessant defensive battles. But that can wait, for while the wolves were keeping our eastern forces occupied, the Christians were keeping our western forces occupied. Join me for my next Installment: The Siege Of Constantinople

[Rilder]

Wow, very impressive story

[dacdac]

great job. i love reading these things, but most of them are complete copies of each other, but yours is different and i really like it. cant wait for the next installment.

[kublikhan3]

The Siege of Constantinople
The treachery of Venice and the Pope caught us off-guard. With an initial force of only two armies defending our western provinces, we were ill-prepared to fend off an assault from all of Christendom. With the wolves assaulting our eastern provinces, the western provinces would have to fend for themselves. Our first army was stationed at the former Hungarian capital of Budapest. The second was at Iasi, and the newly commissioned third army was at Zagreb. The third army was weakest, having just embarked on a bitter campaign of retribution against Venice. With a full garrison of enemy troops stationed at Venice itself, our campaign to eradicate Venice was put on hold. Indeed, the third army was being overwhelmed just trying to hold off the parading dog armies invading from the west. They had destroyed two such armies, and another regular full army from Venice, when they had been reduced to such an extend that the third army was now combat ineffective. The closest retraining center, Ragusa, had only recently been occupied by our forces and was unable to revive the third army. And so when the next parading dog army moved past Zagreb, the third could do nothing to stop them. At first only one army got through, then another, then another. Indeed it seemed there were more dogs invading our western providences than there were wolves in the east. The garrison at Constantinople reached full strength shortly before the city fell under siege. The second army could not be sent to relieve the siege because they hand their hands full with a Polish invasion from the north. As for the first army, they were busy fighting on the border trying to catch more crusading armies that were trying to slip by us.

With the garrison of Constantinople full, we stationed some mercenaries we hired east of the city, hoping to have them reinforce the city when the battle finally started. But a second parading army chased our reinforcements away and they were forced to withdraw towards Nicaea. While unfortunate to have our reinforcements driven away, this maneuver caused the second besieging army to move out of position such that they were unavailable to aid their littermates when the battle began. The Sultan was right about these people. They may be numerous, but they were quite stupid.

Having learned some painful lessons at the siege of Jerusalem, we included some higher quality spearmen in our garrison: Saracen militia. They stood side by side their spearmen brothers at the gates of Constantinople. Five units of militia archers stood atop the walls waiting to rain arrows of death on any who dared approach the capitol of Egypt. Rounding out our garrison was our general, and a few units of cavalry. The dogs too had apparently learned some lessons at Jerusalem, for they had a larger contingent of knights then they previously had.

As the battle started, the dogs broke through the gates of the city and they sent their army in like a long column of ants. Truly we hoped our increased number and quality of spearmen would send them scurrying away, but like any ant column, more came in to replace the dead. Soon it seemed we had miscalculated again for our half dozen spearmen were now engaging the entire enemy army.

To relieve this strain on our forces, we sent our general and Arab cavalry into the battle. Three of the weaker enemies broke, but they were now surrounded and were fighting to the death. The battle continued for some time, and soon other enemy units began fleeing. Exhausted and mauled, we sent our cavalry forces in pursuit of the fleeing enemies, then on to their siege engines. The impudent siege forces actually managed to route one of our cavalry units. But our general and remaining cavalry carried the day.

Not even getting a chance to appreciate this victory, the second parading army laid siege to Constantinople, and there was a third army coming up as well. Our garrison was mauled in the previous battle against one army, there is no way they could face two armies in their current state. We had trained a half dozen mamluk archers at Sofia, intending to resupply the crippled third army. We were forced to divert this army and attack the besieging army at Constantinople, before the dogs could bring up more crusaders.

With no general commanding them and with only six units in the main assault force, we were uncertain of our changes of victory in this battle. But with our mamluks keeping them busy, our garrison force came up behind the enemy and hit them from the rear. Between our two forces, the enemy was slaughtered. The battle was ours, and the mamluks quickly joined the depleted Constantinople garrison. We had only one year to repair the damage to our walls and retrain the most critically wounded troops before Constantinople was yet again under siege. The citizens of the city were actually starting to get accustomed to being under constant siege. Indeed, it was the Sultan who seemed inconsolable. Usually the most confident of the Egyptians to the point of brazen arrogance, the constant years of siege of his capital had sent the Sultan into a brooding depression. It was now Habachi's turn to reassure the Sultan...

"How many years must we endure this humiliation Habachi? How many years? Are we not Allah's chosen people? Do we not have the largest empire in the world with the most powerful army? And yet the dogs march their numberless armies to the very gates of my palace! This is not right Habachi!"
"Do not lose your faith now Sultan. The dogs are numerous its true, yet have we not show one of our men is the better than two of theirs?"
"But they out number us by more than two to one! Outside those walls are over 3000 snarling dogs just waiting for the chance to rip us to pieces. There is no way a garrison of a mere 800 men, mostly militia, could defeat such a force. Our deaths seem assured Habachi. And its all my fault...."
"You could not possibly have foreseen this turn of events. If we are to die then so be it. They will not take us without a fight!"
"And what of our people Habachi? With the destruction of Baghdad and Constantinople a certainty, the loss of their capitol, the death of their failure of a Sultan, our people will be broken Habachi."
"Never! You need look only to the determination of the citizens of this very city for the proof. They are resigned to their fate and face it with courage. Our deaths will not be the end of the Egyptian empire. We will fight on until not a wolf or a dog is left alive anywhere in our empire!"
The Sultan was pleased by this fiery spirit that was invigorating his underling, but he did not share his optimism and went back to his brooding...

The siege force around Constantinople had grown to include three armies, one each from Spain, France, and Milan. When the second siege of Constantinople about to began, only the Spanish and French attacked, but this still left us outnumbered by more than two to one. Still, this news was enough to rouse the Sultan from his stupor. While not quite his old confident self, you could see his tactical mind at work and Habachi began to hope that the Sultan might somehow be able to pull another miraculous victory out of his hat:

The dogs positioned their armies in an unanticipated deployment. The Spanish, with their ram and siege towers, were positioned at the front of our city. The French, with their ballista and a pair of catapults, took up position at the rear of our city. Judging the Spanish to be the greater threat, we initially deployed our entire garrison to the front of our city, hoping to destroy them before having to fight the French.

However as the battle began, the Sultan came up with a new plan. Remembering the decimation our previous armies faced as they tried to contain the invaders at the gates, they Sultan was not eager to repeat it. Instead, he decided we would make our stand at the town square. In both previous sieges, our spearmen were quickly outnumbered, surrounded, and decimated in the opening moments of the battle. But if our spearmen were instead positioned along the narrow streets leading to the town square, the dogs would be unable to surround them because of the flanking buildings. Thus the dogs would be forced to commit their precious cavalry forces to a frontal assault against our spearmen, an ideal situation. Meanwhile our mamluk archers would providing a withering rain of arrows against the enemy, who would be forced to approach one at a time by the narrow streets. Our heavy cavalry would hang back and wait for the right moment to charge. Our militia archers would stay on the walls and try to take out as many of the approaching enemy as possible. The plan was sound enough and initially everything went well. Our forces were able to redeploy to the town square without any difficulties and our archers were a sight to behold firing arrows of flame against the Spanish dogs:


Oddly, the French split their forces in two and send one-third of their army to help their Spanish littermates at the front gate, while the remaining two-thirds stayed behind and tried to open a breach in our walls with their artillery. The Spanish broke in first, and began pouring into our city. Strangely, they did not immediately move to assault our troops in the town square, and just sort of milled around the city entrance for awhile. Perhaps they were waiting on their French littermates to come up? At any rate, this lull in the battle was brought to an abrupt end when the Spanish initiated a cavalry charge on our spearmen. Wave after wave hit our spearmen but we soundly repulsed all attacks. Enemy infantry forces began joining the attack, but these were repulsed as well. The one-two punch of withering archer fire and charging into a wall of spears was too much for them. Sadly, it seems our decision to leave our archer militia on the walls was the wrong decision. They were easily cut down by the enemy infantry forces once our walls were breached. It would have been more effective to have them join the mamluks in the town square. No time to dwell on such matters, for with only three units of spearmen in our entire garrison, even our superior tactics were forced to yield to overwhelming numbers and soon our spearmen were no more. With our spearmen dead but the Spanish dogs themselves badly battered, the Sultan decided the time was right for our own cavalry charge. All of our heavy cavalry charged down the narrow street and broke each and every Spanish unit they encountered. They had almost made it all the way to the city gate when they met fresh French troops incoming. At about the same time, the rear French force finally broke through our walls and we had stinking French invading from two sides. Our cavalry halted their charge and withdrew back to the town square.

With all of our militia dead, we would now have to fight off a fresh wave of troops with nothing but our cavalry forces. The Egyptian people are masters of cavalry warfare, but never had we relied solely on cavalry in a siege defense before. Habachi was uncertain how we would fair, for the very same narrow streets that protected us from the Spanish were now going to work against us. Our cavalry forces would be unable to charge the French spearmen from their flanks, protected as they are by our buildings. The French split up their forces so they had troops approaching the town square from three sides. While this flanking strat is sound in principal, being the same strat we applied against the Mongols, the very wise Sultan managed to turn it against them. Still having some arrows left, our mamluks managed to weaken the French on their approach. Then as they entered the town square, they left the protection of the city buildings. All of our cavalry forces would charge them and route them. Since their initial force was only two or three units on each front, they were easily routed. Things got a bit more dicey when the French generals and mailed knights joined the assault and we again retreated to the town square. Out of archers and with our heavy cavalry battered, it was up to the mamluk archers to once again bring home the victory. The entire remains of our garrison charged the French generals and knights. Though our losses were heavy, we were victorious. With their king dead and the bulk of their forces shattered, it was an easy matter to route the remaining enemies:


Such a heroic victory went quite to the head of the sultan and Habachi had to resume his earlier role of a restraining, pragmatic voice of caution. There is still another twelve hundred troops of Milan just outside Constantinople. And beyond them, another parading army from England. With the Constantinople garrison withered down to just four hundred men, Habachi suggested the time might be right to relocate the capitol to a safer location, before it falls under siege again. We are not invulnerable he argued, for at the very same time that Constantinople was fighting for it's life, Baghdad was set aflame by the wolves and was lost to us. But the Sultan would hear none of it. He was determined to make his stand here, now, and odds be damned we will not retreat. If you want to know which side will control Constantinople by the time this crusade ends, join me for my next installment: End Of The Crusade

[kublikhan3]

End of the Crusade
Milan wasted no time in laying siege to Constantinople. Twelve hundred men vs. a garrison of four hundred men seemed even longer odds then the previous battle. Surprisingly, Milan began the battle just one year after laying siege:

We had expected them to wait for the English to come up and/or build more siege equipment. Never before had we seen a dog army proceed so rapidly from siege to battle. Habachi was quite puzzled by the apparent haste of the Milanese but the Sultan soothed his furrowed brow with these words of wisdom: "Never underestimate the stupidity of a dog." As the battle began, Milan brought their sole siege tower to our walls. With only one target to shoot at, our ballista towers quickly turned it into a flaming hulk of rubble. After that, the Milanese just sort of stood their, apparently confused how to proceed without their siege tower. We thought they might stand there all day, when the entire lot of them began moving to their left flank, then towards the rear of our city.

"Now what are those stupid dogs doing? Giving our ballista towers some more target practice?"
"Never look a gift horse in the mouth Habachi. If we can take them out without our troops firing a shot, so much the better. But why to the rear of our city unless....Habachi, the damage from the previous French artillery barrage was repaired was it not?"
"Yes sultan. I ordered the repairs myself. Why from this very window you can see....that there is a gaping hole in our city wall that the dogs could march right through!"
"Explain yourself Habachi! Your incompetence has endangered us all!"
"Sire, I don't understand. I ordered the repairs just as you instructed. I send the orders to the masons via..."
"Enough. We will deal with this later. We must try to salvage this farce before the whole of the city is sent to the flame and we are all put to death. Order our archers from the walls to the town square. We shall attempt a repeat of the strategy we used against the Spanish dogs. But with only thirty-eight spearmen left I think we have a problem here!"
"Your will Sultan!"

So our garrison quickly redeployed to the town square. We knew our strategy was sound, we had just repulsed the Spanish with the very same strat. But that was eight hundred of our men vs. eleven hundred of theirs. Now it is four hundred of ours vs. twelve hundred of theirs. And we have only thirty-eight spearmen left that were so vital in our defense last time. On the flip side, we have nearly two hundred fifty extra militia archers to bolster our ranged fire that were lost to us last battle. We will soon find out if this tradeoff will be enough to survive for the Milanese are pouring into our cities as I write this...

Our spearmen provided us with some early protection, but were soon overwhelmed and destroyed. As the enemy invades our town square, we are trying to inch away from them, hoping that extra few seconds will buy enough time for the archers to inflict enough losses to convince the enemy to flee. But it seems we have run out of time for some of the mamluks have been engaged in hand to hand combat. The sultan had no choice but to commit our meager heavy cavalry forces to the battle. Apparently that was enough, for the enemy broke and ran. The cavalry charged another unit and soon all of the enemies in the town square had been repulsed. A second force was approaching the square from another flank. We played this just like last time, inch away from them and charge at the last minute. This second force was repulsed as well, but now the main body of the dogs had arrived at our square, joined by the rallying survivors of their first foray into our square. The Sultan was now supremely confident and ordered our heavy cavalry and mamluks to charge the enemy. But they didn't break this time. We did. What few of our forces remained from this disastrous charge rallied in the town square. We no longer had a viable cavalry force, and we were reduced to a handful of mamluks. The only viable force we had left were our militia archers. We did our very best to keep them our of melee combat and firing on the enemy. If, and only if, our archers were engaged in melee would the remnants of our cavalry charge to their rescue. This strat proved marginally effective, for if they approached us they would break, if we approached them we would break. Since we had the greater archer forces, we were victorious in the end and the siege was broken. But our garrison strength had dwindled to less than two hundred men, and an attack by the English was eminent.

We were racing all the troops we could muster to Constantinople but the English got there first. We only managed to slip in the few mercenary troops that previously fled towards Nicaea before the siege went up. Fortunately, with our walls repaired(visually inspected this time), they were not in as much haste as to siege our city as the Milanese were and decided to build a plethora of siege equipment. What they intended to do with six battering rams, we had no idea. But the respite allowed us to assemble a fresh army with troops from Corinth, Thessalonica, Sofia, and Bran. Nearly a full stack of mamluk archers plus a few Arab cavalry attacked the English, the last of the crusading armies. They were joined in the attack by our garrison force. And for the first time in what seemed like years, we defended Constantinople where we actually had the advantage:

Outgunned and outflanked, the English were cut to pieces. The battle seemed almost like child's play compared to the knife edge we were dancing on in previous battles. But our long nightmare was finally over! Not even the wonderful news of the wolves power being broken could compare with this glorious bit of news:

And thought it may have seemed that time was standing still to the citizens of Constantinople, our other western armies were not idle. Having been cut off from their Sultan for so long by the sieges of Constantinople, and the invasion of the wolves dominating what few messages the Sultan was able to get out, the western armies had little choice but to remain idle or take matters into their own hands. Enraged by the duplicity of the Christians, they set out on their own to extract vengeance from the Christian empires and add to the glory of Egypt. Finally getting the upper hand against Poland, the second army split in two again and marched simultaneously against Kiev and Halych, adding both cities to our empire. Half the second army remain at Kiev to deter Russian forces probing our border. While the forces at Halych marched Northwest and took Thorn and Breslau. The Polish briefly retook Thorn, but we have wrestled the city back and Thorn is again in our hands. Meanwhile the first army, when not busy fighting off Christian invasion armies, took Cracow and Prague. The first and second armies have had to leave some garrison forces behind to guard against invading armies and they also took heavy losses to the point that they are no longer combat viable. Only the second army at Kiev remains viable. What was left of the first and third armies have merged into one army. Along with some reinforcements from Ragusa and Sofia, the third army has finally been rebuilt, and even now lays siege to Venice. We had been training a force or mamluks at Corinth and Smyrna, intended to replace the third armies losses. But once we added a general to this force, we decided it would make a good amphibious force and grabbed Iraklion and Palermo. We briefly took Naples before a full stack from Sicily forced us to retreat back to Palermo. We were in the process of beefing up this forth army when Venice sailed by and sunk our fleet. The forth army is now stranded at Palermo. Finally, the remains of the force that ended the crusade is actually one of our strongest armies at the moment, and the Sultan plans to commission this as our fifth army. With all of this expansion, this is how our empire now looks:

The Sultan was delighted to hear about these conquests. With five armies in the west and three in the east, we are now strong enough to handle anything anyone can throw at us. No longer threatened militarily, there is only one thing left to do. Find the source of these information leaks and 'accidents' and put a stop to it. Join me for my next Installment: Rats In The Attic

[Von Nanega]

Good stuff, keep it up!

[kublikhan3]

Rats In The Attic
It was almost unthinkable. Had the Egyptian intelligence service been compromised? Since the earliest days of our empire, our spies have been an integral part of our success. Yet something was clearly wrong. Simple reports of an enemies strength were way off. Spies with a ninety eight percent chance of success of opening a city gate were failing. And enemy forces seem to know exactly where to hit us where we are most vulnerable. Our investigation would began with a thorough interrogation of the dogs and wolves we captured in recent battles.

The interrogation of the prisoners had confirmed our suspicions: we had been sold out. The enemy had been provided with the exact deployments and strengths of our armies and garrisons. One of the captured enemy generals even had the exact layout of Constantinople's defenses. But this layout was clearly not a spy report as we had expected. Instead, it was on official diplomatic letterhead, barring the seal of the Pope! It seems the Pope has betrayed our alliance yet again. His forces have abused the diplomatic immunity they were given to travel throughout our empire and used it to gather intelligence to be used against us. Habachi was gathering more evidence of this betrayal, while the Sultan was investigating our intelligence forces.

It was puzzling, the mixed results our spies were having in the field. On one hand, some of our spies were performing superbly well. Going that extra mile, not just bring back reports of enemy troops strengths, but also when the enemy general eats, sleeps, and sings songs with his men. On the other hand, seasoned veteran spies were failing in even the simplest of tasks, reporting incorrect troop numbers, and even entire fabrications in some instances. It wasn't until the Sultan began compiling a list of all of our successes and a list of all of these unusual failures that a clearer picture began to emerge: All of the compromised agents had been trained in the Thieves Guild, while all of our agents performing well had no contact with the Thieves Guild. The level of subversion suggested that this was not some rouge element of the Guild responsible for our woes, this kind of coordination had to come from the top, the leader of the Guild himself: Garrak The Assassin. This thought gave the Sultan a knot in his stomach. It was said none can match the Thieves Guild when it comes to covert matters and that Garrak himself could kill any man he wished. Once, the Czar of Russia, Boris, managed to turn one of Garrak's lieutenants to become a mole that would work for Boris instead. But Garrak found out. The lieutenant fled for his life, all the way to Timbuktu. But Garrak tracked him down and had him executed. Boris was not spared either. Incensed that one would have the audacity to try and infiltrate the Guild, Garrak put a price on Boris's head. Many of the guild agents were competing with each other for the honor of killing Boris. Having become paranoid with a price on his head, Boris would see no one but his most trusted guards. But Garrak was still able to get to him. He managed to have an agent slip some poison into a drink and Boris died that very night. That's why all of the empires are careful not to upset the Guild.

Why the Egyptian empire would become the target of the guild remains a mystery. We always paid our tribute on time. We were more than happy to allow them to build their guilds in our cities. We even allowed the Headquarters of the guild to be built in our territory. And why this elaborate infiltration of our intelligence forces? If Garrak wanted the Sultan dead, surely he would be dead by now. He must have other motives. The seriousness of some of the compromised agents actions suggested they wanted to see our forces crushed, maybe even our entire empire destroyed. But why? Perhaps the Pope is behind all this? But Garrak was not one to allow himself to become anyone's patsy. Even if the Pope was somehow involved, as appears to be the case, Garrak must have his own motives.

"This does not bode well my friend. It appears the most crafty and ruthless person alive has been working against us. I believe he seeks to destroy us."
"Sultan, I wish that were not true, but I fear you are right. But why does he not make a direct challenge to our forces? Why does he hide his intentions?"
"Garrak has always been one to strike from the shadows and pull the strings from a distance. Direct confrontation is not his style. he prefers the subtle arts of manipulation and deception."
"Perhaps we should burn the Thieves Guild to the ground for their treachery. Arrest Garrak, imprison his agents, and banish the Guild forever from our lands."
"Alas Habachi, I fear that will do no good. Garrak would surely be ready for something like that. I doubt he is even at the Thieves Guild headquarters, he is said to conduct most of his business at secret locations. And even if he is there, he most likely has an escape route well planned. I do not even know what he looks like. It is said few non-guild members have seen Garrak's face and lived to tell the tale."
"Then what are we to do? We can't just sit here waiting for him to make his next move."
"I find myself wishing for a good wolf army to fight Habachi! There is no ulterior motives there, no hidden agenda. Each side wants to destroy the other. All of these convoluted espionage matters makes my head hurt. That's why I keep my distance from the intelligence services and leave Jericho in charge of such matters."
"Perhaps Jericho could offer some insight here? Surely this is a task more suited to his skills."
"Good thinking Habachi, but I do not think even Jericho has what it takes to take on the Guild. We need someone who knows the Guild and Garrak inside and out. We need to turn one of Garrak's lieutenants to our cause."
"We will end up like Boris! One day, when we are eating our meal or out for a stroll, Bam! We drop dead, never having seen the face of our assassin."
"We have little choice Habachi. Perhaps we can learn not to make the same mistakes Boris made. Summon Jericho. I wish to begin planning the infiltration of the Thieves Guild."
"Your will Sultan."

The Sultan brought Jericho up to speed on the recent activities of the guild, of Garrak as an enemy of the Egyptian people, and of the Sultan's bold plan to turn a guild agent to our cause. Jericho was must humbled by his failure to catch these compromised agents and offered his resignation. But the Sultan would here none of it, Garrak pulled the wool over all our eyes he argued. What we needed was a plan to turn a guild member without ending up like Boris. Jericho was indeed skilled in the arts of espionage and soon came up with a plan that truly impressed the Sultan. To make contact with the guild without arousing suspicion, we would send a message to their headquarters saying we needed their most highly trained operative for an imperative mission. The mission is too important to risk failure, and so forth. Garrak will of course be intrigued and send one his agents to ensure that the mission would indeed fail. Then when the agent is here, we offer him a bribe that would make his eyes pop out. In addition to gold, we offer to make him the next leader of the guild, after we take care of Garrak for him. All the while his participation remains completely anonymous, all he has to do is provide us with some intel. We will even allow him to continue his campaign of disinformation and chaos against us so as not to blow his cover. Everything was going according to plan, until the agent Garrak sent strolled into the palace. It was Zebra. His real name was unknown, all upper operatives of the guild use code names. He is Garrak's right hand man and the one who poisoned Boris. He was said to be above reproach, and just as cunning as Garrak. Habachi wanted to call the whole thing off. But the Sultan wanted to go ahead with the offer. Zebra would not have risen to be the number two man in the Thieves Guild if he was not ambitious. Perhaps he was tired of playing second banana to Garrak and would find our offer appealing. That, or he could kill the Sultan on the spot...

"What's wrong Sultan? You look unsettled to see me. You said you wanted the best, and here I am."
"Indeed. But I was not expecting the second in command of the Thieves Guild to come strolling into my palace. We have much to discuss, you and I. And I fear if you don't like what I have to say then we will be at odds. And I don't relish the thought of being at odds with one such as you."
"Then pray I like what you have to say. Now what is it you wish to discuss?"
"We know all about the duplicitous nature of our own agents that the Thieves Guild has somehow managed to turn against us. We also know Garrak has been seeking to destroy us with his campaign of misinformation, sabotage, and Allah knows what else."
"Really sultan, I have no idea where you would get such fanciful ideas. Nor why you would request one of our agents for a vital mission if you think we have betrayed you."
"The mission was merely a ruse to get you here without suspicion. As for why I would summon you here, I have need of an informant within the Thieves Guild. Someone who could feed me information of Garrak's plans and keep me one step ahead of him. I want you to be that informant."
"I see now why you were so apprehensive on my arrival. Your fanciful ideas have led you down a dark and dangerous path. I have killed men for making such an offer. I may kill you as well. Just out of curiosity, would could I possibly gain by agreeing to such an arrangement?"
"We are offering you more than mere gold, which is a substantial amount at ten thousand gold pieces. We are also offering to make you the next head of the thieves guild."
"LOL! Even if I was interested in such a position, what possible help could you be to me in obtaining it? I have seen first year acolytes with more cunning than you."
"I imagine I must play some prominent part in Garrak's plan, or else he would have killed me by now. There is leverage to be gained from being in that position. Perhaps even enough to set a trap. With my power, influence, and wealth, combined with your cunning and inside information, we could do what none before us have managed to do. We could kill Garrak. Then you would replace him as the leader of the Thieves Guild, with a bounty of gold to spend as you see fit."
"Such an arrangement might be possible. But it will cost you more than you are offering. Before I risk my neck by betraying Garrak, I want more. Double your offer to twenty thousand gold pieces, and I want command of your own intelligent services as well as leadership of the guild."
"Impossible! I have ransomed kings for less money than that! And I already have a commander of my intelligence services, a man I can trust."
"Fool! You would compare enlisting my aid to some bumpkin king? You have no idea what is waiting for you! And as for this 'man you can trust', he is growing a bit long of tooth don't you think? It's time he step down and be replaced by a younger generation, one with enough cunning to make your enemies cower in fear at the mere mention of your intelligence services. Accept my offer or earn my wrath!"
<Sultan looks over at Jericho to see what he thinks of the offer. Jericho nods in agreement.>"Very well I accept. I will give you twenty thousand gold pieces as well as leadership of the guild and my intelligence services. Now tell me what you know of Garrak's plans."
"You are speaking to the one person in this world who could tell you about them. You say you know all about Garrak's past actions but you know nothing. His seething hatred of you have caused him to work against you at all times. Everything he does is a means to an end, and end to you and your empire. Get comfortable for I am about to tell you the tale of your Nemesis."

[Andres]

Hey Kublikhan3.

At first I was frightened by the amount of text but when I started reading, I couldn't stop.

A nice campaign you have there. I like your approach. You clearly put alot of effort in this. Great work!

Finish those infidel dogs!

[kublikhan3]

Nemesis
"I suppose I should start off by telling you that you have already met your Nemesis. And he is an Egyptian."
"What? I have never met Garrak. And why would an Egyptian betray his own people?"
"Garrak is not his real name of course. His real name is Al-Punja. Do you recognize him now?"
"Al-Punja! I have not heard that name in years. We were at the military academy together. He was constantly berating my ideas in front of my instructors. Chali, my wife, courted him awhile as well."
"Interesting that even as young men you two were destined to be at odds is it not? I am not surprised your thoughts jumped to Chali either, as Al-Punja has mentioned her often. You two were in competition for her affections were you not?"
"Indeed. Chali was attracted to his powerful character and ambitions. But in the end she found his selfishness and cold views on humanity wanting. She much preferred my warm caring attitude for the Egyptian people. It is better to be loved than feared after all. Al-Punja took the opposite view. But why would he betray us so?"
"Al-Punja was never happy with the direction the Egyptian empire was heading. Viewing the previous Sultan's adoration of his people as improper, your security measures a joke, and the rejection of his advice as insulting, he grew more and more disillusioned. You, as one of his peers, personified everything he hated about the Egyptian empire. You seemed to take his opposite view on just about every subject. Then you began to court the woman he loved. When you finally won her over, it was the final straw. He decided in that moment to leave Egypt forever. He would build his own empire based on his ideals. And when the time was right, when your empire was crumbling and you as a man broken, he would reveal himself to you. Standing over your broken body, gloating how his ideals were the correct ones. Then Chali would realize she made a mistake all those years ago and come back to him. Now, years later, you have both built empires of a sort. Yours, an empire where you are loved by your people, where you make no secret of your intentions, and your power comes from the sword. His, where he is feared, where he lives in shadows and manipulations, and where his power comes from the dagger."
"Are you telling my all of the death he caused was because of a pitiful desire for revenge against me?"
"You, and every other Egyptian. The Egyptian people's superior attitude towards everyone else disgusts him. I think in his heart he feels he would never fit into Egyptian society, being the bastard son of a wandering trader. He has something of an inferiority complex. He is also driven by the desire to win back Chali's love. He often wakes in the middle of the night in a cold sweat at the thought of you two in bed together."
"I left such childish rivalries behind in my adolescence. It seems Al-Punja has never grown up. I can't believe he would go through all of this trouble because of a personal grudge."
"Your incredulity will only increase as I recount to you what he has been up to all these years."
"Proceed."

Zebra began to list all of the actions that Al-Punja had taken in an effort to destroy the Egyptian empire. Assassination of the previous Sultan, inflaming the Byzantine people against the Egyptians, Manipulating the Christians and the Mongols to attack Egypt, sabotaging Egyptian repair efforts, the Sultan had to stop Zebra several times before his head exploded. The most amusing bit Zebra related pertained to peace offerings from foreign empires. The Sultan never understood why after they were just soundly thrashed, a foreign dog would come in demanding fifty thousand gold pieces for peace. But it appears these messages were altered by Al-Punja. Wanting to keep us at war, the last thing Al-Punja wanted was to have us start making peace with various empires. With the Sultan's decree that no diplomats may enter the palace(because of the Pope's little 'accident'), all parleys with the dogs took place in written form. Al-Punta was able to alter these messages to demand ridiculous amounts of gold instead of an offering of gold. Of course such ridiculous demands would be rejected and we would be perpetually at war.

"Why has the Thieves Guild not turned on him by now? It seems his desire for personal revenge would be at odds with the flourishment of the guild."
"Many members of the Thieves Guild have a score to settle and can understand his desires. But you are right, he is taking his revenge too far. Many have tried to assassinate him and failed. He is extremely paranoid and has taken extensive measures to protect himself. My frustration with him is what swayed me to accept your proposal in the end. The gold and titles were just icing on the cake."
"You Rat! Give it back then!"
"A deals a deal :) Shall we return to the matter at hand?"
"Fine. How does the Pope fit into all of this?"
"It seems you have nearly as many enemies as Al-Punja. The Pope included. He wanted revenge after you ordered the Jihad that took Rome and Al-Punja gave him the means to get it. The Pope also served as a convenient fall guy in the event the invasions failed. He knew you would began an investigation and took certain steps to make sure evidence implicating the Pope would not be too hard for you to find."
"Are you saying the Pope is nothing more than Al-Punja's patsy?"
"He is being used by Al-Punja its true. But the Pope did seek him out and was more than willing to betray you. I could take care of that little loose end for you if you wish."
"We will discuss that later. For now I find myself in disbelief of all you have told me. All I wanted to do was kill Garrak and end a threat to my empire. But now, I wish to see Al-Punja broken and humiliated, just as he saw me in his diluted fantasies. Then and only then, can we finally put him out of his misery."
"Perhaps that can be arranged as well. Shall we begin planning?"
"Proceed. I am eager to discuss how To Catch A Thief."

[katank]

Wonderfully written AAR. The movie name related chapter headings are also a nice touch.

Many thanks for a great read.

[kublikhan3]

To Catch A Thief

Before Al-Punja could be humiliated and killed, we had to get him here first. This would be no easy feet, for he was not stupid enough to come waltzing into his enemy's stronghold. After thinking it over for a few days, the Sultan came up with a plan.

"Al-Punja has no idea that I know he is Garrak right? So what if I invited him over here as the old academy chums that we are? Perhaps a class reunion or some such thing?"
"In order for the ruse to be successful, in must appear to be in-character for you. You two were hardly 'old chums'. More like bitter rivals. If you knew nothing about Al-Punja as being Garrak, and were planning on having a class reunion, you still would not invite Al-Punja would you?"
"Of course not. I never liked him. I would sent out invitations to everyone in my class but him, and make it understood that no one was to mention it to him so he would not find out about it."
"Then perhaps that's exactly what you should do."
"Pardon?"
"Invite everyone but Al-Punja. He will take it as a snub and an insult and will be tempted to crash your little party. Then have Chali sent out a personal invitation, supposedly behind your back. She need only spread the word among your former classmates that she wishes him to attend, I guarantee he will find out about it."
"Hmmm. I had hoped to keep Chali out of this. They were once friends and we are setting him up to be humiliated and murdered after all."
"Like it or not, she is an integral part of Al-Punja's motivations. If we are to guarantee he shows, she must be persuaded to help us."
"Very well. I will do my best. Assuming we get him here, you mentioned he has extensive security precautions. What can we expect?"
"Many of his devices are designed to protect him in his safe houses. He is much more vulnerable traveling outside of them. Yet even outside and vulnerable, I have seen him defeat assassins on two separate occasions. He carries a poisoned dagger on his belt that can kills most painfully. He also carries several capsules he purchased from an alchemist. When broken, these capsules produce a cloud of smoke, useful for a quick escape. I suspect he has some other defensive measure he carries on his body when traveling, but I have never seen it. There are some things he prefers to keep secret even from me."
"A hidden weapon?"
"Perhaps. But if we don't know where it is it will be difficult to disarm him."
"You said you suspect he carries it on his person while traveling. Does he behave any differently when traveling? Any bulges that could be a weapon? Any nervous glances to make sure his weapon is still there?"
"Now that you mention it, I have noticed something odd. He is careful to avoid any glances that might give something away, but I have noticed that before entering a potentially dangerous situation, he taps his left thigh. Perhaps he is confirming if his hidden weapon is still there or not."
"Hmmm, that could be a problem. If we remove his hidden weapon before our confrontation, he will no doubt notice it is gone."
"Then we don't remove the weapon. We just make sure he can't get to it. If it is hidden in a secret flap, as I suspect, then all we need do is have him spend the night in your palace. As he sleeps, we can have Chali steal his pants and sew this flap shut. If she does it well, he will notice nothing different."
"You told me earlier he is such a light sleeper he practically has one eye open when sleeping. I think he will notice someone sneaking into his bedchamber. How will we be able to sneak in then?"
"With this. It is a sleeping potion. A few drops in his drink and he will enter a deep sleep. He will wake up the next morning refreshed and none the wiser. His dagger he would notice is missing as he keeps it in plain sight. But we can remove his smoke capsules as he sleeps as well."
"Then what about the poisoned dagger? How will we get him to part with that?"
"Tell him you wish him to meet your daughter. She is young and easily frightened and so forth and you do not wish her to see a grotesque weapon. Better to have Chali tell him as he will feel more at ease if the request came from her."
"Excellent. And then?"
"Then you can finally take your revenge on him by humiliating him as you see fit. When you finally kill him, I will take my rightful place as head of the thieves guild. I can then begin to repair some of the damage he caused over the years. Your twenty thousand gold pieces will make that job much easier."
"Nice to hear it will be put to good use. Sounds like a plan. Lets get to work."

Chali was easier to convince then the Sultan anticipated. Having lost a lot of friends over the years from enemy invasions, she was extremely distraught to learn the cause of those invasions was someone she once knew. She seemed more eager for revenge than the Sultan did. And so the plan was put into motion. The Sultan send out the invitations to all of his old class members, snubbing of course Al-Punja. Chali sent our her personal invitation to Al-Punja, letting all of the old class members know they should not tell the sultan about it. Nods and winks were exchanged, and soon the news filtered down to Al-Punja. Eager to respond to the Sultan's snub and see Chali again, he decided to attend the reunion. The trap was set. The players enroute. All that was left now was to finish the game.

Join me for my final installment: End Game

[kublikhan3]

End Game

The Sultan's palace was slowly beginning to fill up as his guests arrived for the party. It wasn't long before Al-Punja arrived.

"Al-Punja, what a pleasant surprise. I didn't think you would be attending."
"Oh, I would not miss this for the world. Now where is the food? I am famished from my long journey."

The guests sat down to dinner and exchanged stories about what they had been up to these past years. Everyone knew of the rivalry between Al-Punja and the Sultan and hoped the two might provide some entertainment tonight with their petty bickering and posturing as they had done in years gone by. It did not take long for them to get their wish.

"So you managed to rise to Sultan? Nothing like failing upwards I see. I was curious why I never got your invitation. You sent one I presume?"
"Well, I had written one. But instead of sending it out I decided it would be more worthwhile to wipe my rear with it. How did you manage to find out about my little party anyway?"
"Fortunately Chali has more class than an oaf such as you and sent me an invitation. By the way, I heard how you were trapped at Constantinople for years during the sieges of the city. It must have been terrible for you. Too bad I wasn't there to see it."
"Indeed those Christian dogs gave me quite a workout on the battlefield. But I assure you, it was nothing compared to the workouts Chali gives me in the bedchamber."
<This really got the guests roaring and demanding more. It didn't take much egging on for Al-Punja to respond.>
"I don't doubt it. But I suspect her passion came from her desires of me. You know of her frequent thoughts of me don't you?"
"Indeed, she confessed to me she thinks of you often. But it is when she is over the chamber pot!"

Their bickering continued all through the night and the guests were rolling on the floor laughing. It had been years since they had so much fun. After a long night of eating, drinking and talking, the guests began filing out and heading back to their homes. Al-Punja was one of the last to leave.

"Al-Punja, if it is not an imposition I was wondering if you could stay the night. Our daughter is coming home tomorrow and we would love you to meet her."
"Chali, I am sure Al-Punja is eager to crawl back under whatever rock he calls home. Isn't that right?"
"I would love to spend the night and meet your daughter. Who knows, after all those secret rendezvous with your wife I may even see my likeness in her."

One final toast of wine and everyone was off to bed. But Al-Punja's glass had including Zebra's sleeping potion. He barely had time to get to the guest bedchamber and undress himself before he was passed out on the bed. Chali snuck in and took his clothes. She relieved them of his smoke capsules and did an excellent job sewing shut the secret flap containing the hidden weapon, a set throwing stars as it turns out. The clothes were then carefully replaced back where they were and everything was set for tomorrow's activities. By morning everyone was well rested.

"So when is the little one supposed to arrive?"
"She should be here within the hour. She is quite young however and easily frightened. If you wouldn't mind it would be better if you removed that dagger from your belt so as not to scare her."
"Very well. I want to make a good impression on OUR daughter after all Chali."
"I don't wish to be rude to our guest, by I have some empire business to attend to. Would it be alright if my underlings brought me their latest reports?"
"Take no notice of me Sultan, I have grown a thick skin to your lack of manners. Besides, I want to hear how badly you have managed to screw up this empire you claim to run."
"You may send in my advisors now."
<Habachi is the first of the Sultan's advisors to bring his report:>"Sir! Wonderful news! Baghdad has been recaptured! So has Naples and Venice! We now control over forty-five territories. All of the dog empires are capitulating to our demands. The wolves have been destroyed. He have won!"
"This is most excellent news Habachi. I am most pleased by your progress. Please send in Jericho. I wish to hear his status next."
"Your will Sultan!"

Al-Punjab was unsettled to hear this news. His smugness was gone and he grew apprehensive as the next advisor approached, Jericho this time.

"Sir! Zebra had left me in charge while he was off consolidating his power. But I have completed the task he has charged me with, all of the double agents from the Thieves Guild have been executed most painfully! And the Pope's diplomatic status has been revoked. Our Intelligence service has been restored to it's former glory! We are whole again!"
"Excellent work Jericho. I knew my faith in you was not misplaced. Please send in Zebra next. I wish to hear his report."
"Your will Sultan!"
Al-Punjab was starting to panic at this news. All his double agents, gone. And it appeared Zebra had betrayed him. This did not bode well. He tapped his pants leg to reaffirm his throwing stars were still there. Good. If needs be, he could still kill everyone in the room. He started to relax a bit until the last of the Sultan's advisors came in, it was Zebra.
" Sir! Spectacular news! I have completed my consolidation of power of the Thieves Guild. All Guild agents have pledged their loyalty to me. I need only present them with the head of Garrak to seal the deal. And I have made the final preparations to integrate your intelligence forces with those of the Guild. You now have ears that stretch across three continents! You have the best assassins in the world at your beck and call! I will take the Egyptians intelligence services to previously unimagined heights!"
"Stupendous news. I had not expected you to reorganize the Guild so quickly. Why was the Guild so eager to turn on Garrak?"
"We all considered Garrak to be a stupid love struck fool who cared for nothing but his petty revenge. Only his network of safe houses and traps had kept him alive this long. We burned his safe houses to the ground. And we found one bit of interesting news. Garrak was planning another multi-pronged invasion of our territory. The plan called for stirring the Russians up against us, calling another Christian crusade on us, and bribing the Timurids to assault us. We of course have destroyed such plans and taken certain measures to ensure none of the three planned invasions will proceed."
"Excellent work Zebra. You are becoming my most valued advisor of all. Leave us now, I wish to discuss this news with our guest."
"Your will Sultan!"
When Al-Punja heard this final report, he knew the time of niceties was over. Before the Sultan could even get a word off to Al-Punja, he was reaching for his belt to grab his dagger...but it was not there.
"Looking for this? We took your dagger from you remember?"
Al-Punja next reached for his pocket to get his smoke capsules to make an escape but they were not there either.
"Looking for these? We took them out when you were sleeping."
Al-Punja still had one trick left. He reached for his throwing stars in his pants but something was wrong. He could not get the flap open.
"Oh, did I forget to mention? We sewed the flap shut when you were sleeping too."
Al-Punja tried to rip the flap open with all his might but the Sultan put an end to his struggling with a punch across the jaw that sent him flying across the floor.
"Why Chali, why would you betray me like this? All I have done was for you."
"Why? WHY? BECAUSE YOU ARE A MONSTER THAT'S WHY! Do you know how many people died because of you? How many friends I have lost? I would see you die a hundred and fifty ways!"
"Why the long face Al-Punja? I thought this is what you fantasized about. Oh....That's right...You were supposed to be the one standing here gloating with Chali. And I was supposed to be the one on the floor broken, with no empire, and the most pathetic example of a man that the Egyptian people have ever produced. Well not everything happens as you predict. Only one thing left to do now..."
The Sultan reached for his sword to put Al-Punja out of his misery when he was stopped by Chali.
"No let me. I want to kill him with his own dagger. Die you monster!"
Chali flung the poisoned dagger at him with all her might. It took him hours to die a most agonizing death. His head was later presented to the Thieves Guild solidifying Zebra's status as their master. Now the sword and the dagger were at Egypt's command. No foreign empire would dare challenge the Sultan's power again. With no enemies left to fight, the Sultan was ready to pass on the burden of command to a younger generation and to retire to a quiet life with Chali. But before that happened, there was one loose end left to tie up.

Loose Ends

Despite all of the Sultan's accomplishments, there was still something that felt unfinished. One enemy left to be dealt with. One betrayal left unchallenged. Zebra, Jericho, and even Habachi were all competing for the honor of dispatching this foe. But this one, the Sultan wanted to deal with personally. No longer able to hide behind the protection of Christianity, the kennel master had been reduced in power to a mere puppet. When the Sultan ordered him to his palace, he had no choice but to comply.

"So Popey my pet, how are you? Looks as if your mummy bandages have come loose again."
"Oh great Sultan, I thought you ordered me never to enter your palace again. Why have you asked me here?"
"Why, I like to checkup on my pets. We haven't talked in awhile. I heard you called a crusade since last we spoke. How did that go?"
"Not so well I'm afraid. I haven't heard back from any of my general's on the crusade. I fear they may all be dead."
"In fact they are. But don't worry. I saved their heads. I even mounted them on pikes for you. Here take a look."
<The sultan waves his arm to the pikes that held the heads of each of the generals who commanded a crusading army. Even Garrak's head was there.>
"Ummm, thank you great Sultan."
"Your welcome. Oh and did I mention, all of the Christian cities I have taken have been converted to Islam. Why, the Moors have even converted Rome to Islam as well."
"Praise Allah."
"Praise Allah indeed. Just one thing has been nagging on me. You see I have this extra pike with no head on it. I can't just leave it like this, I must find a head to mount on it. Any ideas what I should do?"
"No great Sultan. Now if you don't mind I will take my leave of you..."
"Hey! I know! Let's cut off your head and put it on a pike! Guards, take this man into custody!"
"You can't! Every Christian nation in the world will attack you!"
The Sultan's jovial mood was gone and he had a hard look as he spoke these words:
"The broken remains of Christianity will not come to your aid old dog. You are an embarrassment to them, the Pope who charged Christianity head long into disaster. They will be glad to be rid of you and look forward to a more amiable Pope who would seek peace with Egypt and Islam."
"Have mercy on an old man! I was just trying to lead my people to victory! You can understand that can't you?"
"No, I cannot. Your under-handed dealings have caused the deaths of untold thousands. But if it helps I will tell you this. I do look on this as a mercy killing. My pet has become old, senile, and rabid. It is time to put it out of it's misery before it hurts anyone else. Guards, Take him away!"
"Noooo! Have mercy Sultan! Nooooo....."

The End

The Sultan found retired life a welcome respite from the endless turmoil he lead his empire through. Habachi and Jericho retired as well, having been handsomely rewarded for their years of faithful service. Zebra continued to serve the new Sultan with distinction. The Egyptian Empire would flourish for many years to come. Now, I must take my leave of you. I hope you have enjoyed the story of how the Egyptian Empire rose from nothing, overcame tremendous adversity, and became the greatest empire in the world.

Best Wishes,

Al-Shadi
Official Record Keeper of the Egyptian Empire

[kublikhan3]

I just wanted to thank everyone for your feedback, it's what kept me writing to finish my story.

[vitch]

When Zebra said "LOL" I did laugh out loud! Nearly got me caught by my boss reading at work.

I enjoyed the story. Thanks for posting it.

[Darkarbiter]

*Wall of text crits Dark for 10,000 damage
*Dark dies
It needs more pictures imo.

[kublikhan3]

I started working on a new AAR. It will have more pictures. I am thinking about going with thumbnails this time around. This should be the best of both worlds.

[MonwarH]

Kublikhan, a most wonderful, humorous AAR. Had a great time reading it with plenty of laughs. The usage of slang terms for very effective diplomatic use is just great, especially phrases like 'Kennel Master' and 'Why would our own cities turn to slime? It is unthinkable!', 'The dogs have poisoned their minds with their dog religion!', 'And what was left of the Byzantine army had turned to slime', 'He empties his bladder on the Sultan's Persian rug, such is the depths of his hatred.', 'Never underestimate the stupidity of a dog.' etc. LOL!

I would prefer that the play style would be a bit more 'realistic' though, but that's a choice you make to enjoy the game. I am pretty sure you are a skilled player.

BTW, did Garrak's second Zebra 'said' LOL! or 'did' LOL? LOL!

I also had image loading problems while reading your AAR, the larger images went only half or quarter loaded. This seems to happen frequently. :(

I think, Kublikhan, that it might be a nice idea if you pdf your AAR for guys like me with dial up and can't load the images. I would love to have a copy mailed if you decide to do so.

P.S. : In fact in this new reload I can see the pix all fine. In any case, the pdf would still be welcome for an AAR this good!

[kublikhan3]

As requested, I have packaged this AAR into a word doc. Unfortunately I have not found a good free file server to use. Most require you to login every 30 days to keep the link alive. This one at least lasts 6 months but has a gay 30 second timer before the download link appears. Imageshack is great for images, but they don't support .doc files. If anyone knows of a better free file hosting solution I can reupload the file there. Anyway, here is the link: http://files-upload.com/203072/Dance...olves.doc.html

After putting everything together it was 40 pages! Even after trimming out a few of the unnecessary images and reducing the font size it was still 30 pages. I did not realize I had written so much. BTW, Zebra was suppose to be laughing at loud there not actually saying the letters L O L :)