Wargiraffes, flaming cats, exploding monkeys...

[cegorach]

In other words Incredible-Use-Of-Animals-As-Weapons-Which-Didn't-Work :)
More - were spectacular failures...


Here are my types:

1."In the 1700's the Swedish cavalry experimented with moose. The animals have better stamina and terrain mobility than horses. The Swedes were able to train and ride moose, but were unable to get them to quit running away from artillery fire."

2. Wargiraffes

British general Wood tried to convince the authorities that it is possible to create cavalry on giraffes !

Unfortunatelly the animal he tried to use insted of horse rebelled thrown him away and kicked him in the face, apparently his skull was very tough ( no brain ?!) so only his nose was broken Wink

I bet British military parades would become so much more interesting with this unit.;)

3. Chinese Exploding Monkeys - trained monkeys with bombs were used in the XIXth century to attack British ships - not very successfully...

4. "How about the Russian 'bomb dogs'? Used to destroy enemy tanks. They were trained to do this by finding food under tanks, whereupon the bomb would explode. Sadly, they were trained using Russian tanks so when they were initially released in action and shown the Panzers, they promptly turned around and ran under their own tanks.." - quote from Lord Ux of the Lords forum.

5. IN autumn 1513 Russian army besieging Smolensk ( in Polish-LIthuanian hands at that time) sent a wave of cats and pigeons to set it alight which obviously were not too happy and turned tail (literally...).


I also remember something about American idea of bat-bombs, but not the details.
Any proposals ?

[Watchman]

1."In the 1700's the Swedish cavalry experimented with moose. The animals have better stamina and terrain mobility than horses. The Swedes were able to train and ride moose, but were unable to get them to quit running away from artillery fire."

I read they never got even that far, and the experiment was quietly abandoned after a slew of broken bones among the riders.

Although it was under Carolus XI in the late 1600s AFAIK. Bit of an elk fan apparently.

[Marquis of Roland]

ROFLMAO

Got any more? I'd like a hear how those Chinese monkeys turned out; I wish I was actually there to see it, I would've been ROFL for hours

[Oaty]

5. IN autumn 1513 Russian army besieging Smolensk ( in Polish-LIthuanian hands at that time) sent a wave of cats and pigeons to set it alight which obviously were not too happy and turned tail (literally...).

Ahh but the flaming pigeon bombers were a success in another siege. The trick is you need something that won't burn the pigeon right away. The pigeons had combustables tied to them via string on thier talon. While in the middle of flight the string that was attached to them would break and the combustables dropped, leaving most pigeons with a bit of string attached and no burns.

[Samurai Waki]

Actually the bat bomb was quite successful in the experimentation phase. The Problem was that by the time we were capable of deploying sed bomb against the Japanese during the Terror Bombing Phase, we instead dropped a couple of nukes. Just FYI.

[Kongamato]

I think I remember reading something about Soviet mice trained to eat at German tank wiring.

I also remember a History Channel show telling about a Pigeon-Guided bomb. The bomb would contain a pigeon which was trained to peck at a picture of a battleship. Once dropped, the guidance mechanisms would interpret the location of the pigeon's pecking and would steer the bomb accordingly. This did not make it into production.

I may have also read about foxes covered with luminous paint dropped into Japan as a method of frightening the population.

[Stig]

We Dutch had carts with Machine Guns on them towed by dogs ... the Germans had tanks tho

[Innocentius]

1."In the 1700's the Swedish cavalry experimented with moose. The animals have better stamina and terrain mobility than horses. The Swedes were able to train and ride moose, but were unable to get them to quit running away from artillery fire."

Sorry to spoil the fun, but that's nothing but a myth. There are no evidence whatsoever of any such attempt. This myth probably originates as far back as the 17th century, as Sweden's opponents in war (mostly the Catholic League in the 30-years war) wanted to depict the Swedes as nothing but mere barbarians from the north. Although partly true (the uncivilized norsemen-thing), moose cavalry is just a result of 17th century propaganda.

[cegorach]

No it is not. You are referring to a different myth, but these attempts DID exist.

[Innocentius]

No it is not. You are referring to a different myth, but these attempts DID exist.

Err...Exactly what sources do you have to claim that? As far as I know, the line you follow is "If there is no evidence of it, then it is best to assume it doesn't exist/didn't happen". You can't claim that it is true just like that, sorry. I could just as well claim that Edward I of England attempted to train geese for attacking the Welsh at their ankles.

There were however attempts to train mooses to serve as transport animals (for post wagons and such) but theser attempts were abandoned as mooses proved to be untameable.

[Watchman]

I know the local nature mag here mentioned the project. Hey, Car. X was by all accounts a very capable ruler so the man should be allowed a few bold if kooky ideas. Kinda like G. II Adolphus' leather cannon.

I think I remember reading something about Soviet mice trained to eat at German tank wiring.

I remember reading this was the excuse the Germans offered after (presumably rather embarassingly) some big tank fight - the military version of "the dog ate my homework".

Although given what I know of mice and similar rodents I wouldn't put it past them to chew on wires entirely on their own initiative just to see if those are edible (especially if food is getting scarce otherwise for some reason - and the German Eastern Front notoriously had severe supply issues). Pet rabbits, hamsters and such reguarly fry themselves that way too, don't they ? Maybe wires remind them of roots or branches or something and the instincts do the rest.

[Cangrande]

I could just as well claim that Edward I of England attempted to train geese for attacking the Welsh at their ankles.

I thought it was for pinching their bums

[Mailman653]

I heard on this documentry about the American civil war that president Lincoln was offered a pack of war elphants from the king of Siam. Now imagine that.....

[yesdachi]

We Dutch had carts with Machine Guns on them towed by dogs ... the Germans had tanks tho

I don’t know if that was meant to be funny but I almost spit soda out my nose.


I remember hearing/reading somewhere about ducks and geese being used as watchdogs.

[Peasant Phill]

Geese are very territorial. They make a hell of a lot of noise if they see anything intruding in their territory. They're also not afraid to attack, but I would rather be attacked by a vicious goose than a vicious dog.

[R'as al Ghul]

I also remember a History Channel show telling about a Pigeon-Guided bomb. The bomb would contain a pigeon which was trained to peck at a picture of a battleship. Once dropped, the guidance mechanisms would interpret the location of the pigeon's pecking and would steer the bomb accordingly. This did not make it into production.

That's the "Pigeon Project". Walter F. Skinner. Harvard. ca. 1955-60.
Very interesting. Lots of stuff on the web for those interested.
The first cybernetic machine, so to say.

[Redleg]

I remember hearing/reading somewhere about ducks and geese being used as watchdogs.

If I remember a report I have read correctly geese make great watchdogs. And because they tend not to wander if adequate food is available they are actually more reliable then dogs.

http://www.quazen.com/Recreation/Bir...atch-Dogs.1943

[English assassin]

Geese famously are said to have saved the capitol of Rome from being sacked by the gauls in 387BC, but I'm guessing you all knew that

[Kralizec]

We Dutch had carts with Machine Guns on them towed by dogs ... the Germans had tanks tho

A unit that combines the awesomeness of machine guns, chariots and war dogs

Tanks?


....


Okay we lost, but that was unrelated.

[Cangrande]

Rome used geese, they were sacred!

[Innocentius]

Rome used geese, they were sacred!

My geese-joke seems to've gotten out of control...

[Seamus Fermanagh]

I hereby nominate this thread for:

Best Monastery Thread Title

[Vladimir]

My geese-joke seems to've gotten out of control...

They're not really a joke though. They have all the good qualities listed and there is the saying about how shite goes thru a goose. Makes an excellent tripping hazzard and a nice little trail for you to follow.

[Watchman]

Fertilizes the grass too. Plus the birds keep it short - no lawnmovers or such needed.

[yesdachi]

In tough times I’ll bet they taste better than dog too. foie gras anyone.

[edyzmedieval]

This thread is hilarious already. To make it more hilarious, those things really happened... o_O

[Pannonian]

I think I remember reading something about Soviet mice trained to eat at German tank wiring.

I also remember a History Channel show telling about a Pigeon-Guided bomb. The bomb would contain a pigeon which was trained to peck at a picture of a battleship. Once dropped, the guidance mechanisms would interpret the location of the pigeon's pecking and would steer the bomb accordingly. This did not make it into production.

The pigeon-guided bomb did, however, generate an interesting response in the House of Commons many years later.

Early day motion 1255

EDM 1255 - PIGEON BOMBS - 21.05.2004
EDM introduced by Banks, Tony

That this House is appalled, but barely surprised, at the revelations in M15 files regarding the bizarre and inhumane proposals to use pigeons as flying bombs; recognises the important and live-saving role of carrier pigeons in two world wars and wonders at the lack of gratitude towards these gentle creatures; and believes that humans represent the most obscene, perverted, cruel, uncivilised and lethal species ever to inhabit the planet and looks forward to the day when the inevitable asteroid slams into the earth and wipes them out thus giving nature the opportunity to start again.

Signatures:
Banks, Tony
Corbyn, Jeremy
McDonnell, John

[Marshal Murat]

I think I would've wanted to have been at the first use of elephants in war.

"Okay, so what are you saying?"
"You will mount this massive, heavy, and very skittish monster with man ripping tusks and a sensitivity to pain and flames."
"Yea, sure."