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  1. #1
    Dyslexic agnostic insomniac Senior Member Goofball's Avatar
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    Default Best Catholic joke I've ever heard

    Hot off my email. Probably more of a Frontroom item, but it involves religion, so I thought I had better play it safe and post it in here:

    Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math.

    Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first Day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother Hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner.

    To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what had made all the difference. Finally, little Zachary brought home his report Card. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books.

    With great trepidation, his Mom looked at it and, to her great surprise, little Zachary got an "A" in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?"

    Little Zachary looked at her and Shook his head, no.

    "Well, then," she replied, "Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT ALREADY?"

    Little Zachary looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."
    "What, have Canadians run out of guns to steal from other Canadians and now need to piss all over our glee?"

    - TSM

  2. #2

    Default Re: Best Catholic joke I've ever heard

    that was qutie original and funny, good joke

  3. #3
    smell the glove Senior Member Major Robert Dump's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Catholic joke I've ever heard

    I'm 1/3 Catholic and I'm offended by this joke.
    Baby Quit Your Cryin' Put Your Clown Britches On!!!

  4. #4
    Member Member Alexander the Pretty Good's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Catholic joke I've ever heard

    I'm 10/10 Catholic and found it hilarious. I did go to Catholic school...

    Though I think I heard it before...

  5. #5
    Insomniac and tired of it Senior Member Slyspy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Catholic joke I've ever heard

    I'm 0% Catholic and I am offended by the lack of humour shown in this joke.

    Move aside and bring on the
    "Put 'em in blue coats, put 'em in red coats, the bastards will run all the same!"

    "The English are a strange people....They came here in the morning, looked at the wall, walked over it, killed the garrison and returned to breakfast. What can withstand them?"

  6. #6
    Member Member ZombieFriedNuts's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Catholic joke I've ever heard

    I love it
    Make Beer Not War

  7. #7
    Hope guides me Senior Member Hosakawa Tito's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Catholic joke I've ever heard

    Good one Goofball!
    "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." *Jim Elliot*

  8. #8

    Default Re: Best Catholic joke I've ever heard

    Pure 100% Dave Allen

  9. #9
    Arena Senior Member Crazed Rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best Catholic joke I've ever heard

    Not too bad, but I've heard it before.

    CR
    Ja Mata, Tosa.

    The poorest man may in his cottage bid defiance to all the forces of the Crown. It may be frail; its roof may shake; the wind may blow through it; the storm may enter; the rain may enter; but the King of England cannot enter – all his force dares not cross the threshold of the ruined tenement! - William Pitt the Elder

  10. #10

    Default Re: Best Catholic joke I've ever heard

    That joke is extremely obscene, distasteful and offensive, nothing at all "funny" about it.

  11. #11

    Default Re: Best Catholic joke I've ever heard

    That joke is extremely obscene, distasteful and offensive, nothing at all "funny" about it.
    Blah blah blah , and you are clearly not a Bible following Christian like you claim to be .
    Would you prefer a joke a clerical child sex abuse instead ?

    That does actually sound like a Dave Allen joke.
    Thats because it is
    No one could rip the piss out of the Catholic church like he could , a comic genious

  12. #12

    Default Re: Best Catholic joke I've ever heard

    Quote Originally Posted by Navaros
    That joke is extremely obscene, distasteful and offensive, nothing at all "funny" about it.

    Oh grow a sense of humor why dont you? It's a joke.

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