John Awoke

**Del Arroyo** · 01-19-2007, 05:51

Thank you

**Del Arroyo** · 01-19-2007, 05:56

These are the first few sections of a story I have written recently. If you would like to read more, please say so and I will post further sections. Of course I am very interested to read any comments or ideas you may have.

**Ludens** · 01-20-2007, 13:19

Intriguing. The story appears to lack an purpose, but I take it that's the intention. I would like to read more.

**Del Arroyo** · 01-23-2007, 17:02

Originally Posted by Ludens

Intriguing. The story appears to lack an purpose, but I take it that's the intention. I would like to read more.

Thank you for your comments. Here is some more.

**Ludens** · 01-27-2007, 16:04

Sorry for the delay: I only just now got a chance to properly read up on your story. It is well-written, the plot sounds real and I like the sparse description, but it is very, very slow by Mead Hall standards. I guess that would explain the lack of comments: this is basically a fanfiction forum so we aren't used to slow, reflective stories. I don't want to discourage you from writing as this definitly shows promise, but totalwar.org may not be the right site to publish it.

**Del Arroyo** · 02-07-2007, 01:22

Does anyone have any comments or ideas? I still have the final section to post, if anyone were interested; though Ludens may be correct, that this may not be the right forum for this kind of piece.

**Ludens** · 02-07-2007, 20:20

Originally Posted by Del Arroyo

Does anyone have any comments or ideas? I still have the final section to post, if anyone were interested; though Ludens may be correct, that this may not be the right forum for this kind of piece.

I am interested, though don't expect any in-depth comments from me.