The "What are you playing?" topic.

[Monk]

The Witcher

I have to say, it's rare that I play a game that approaches sex this immaturely. It borderlines on absurd at times, especially the first instance of it happening. One of my companions had failed during the tutorial and I decided to give her a pep-talk. I kid you not, by choosing the line "It's not your fault." i somehow started a.. shall we say, encounter. I starred at my monitor for a solid five minutes in awe, long after the brief scene had ended and we were already in the next plot device dialogue section. I couldn't believe what I just saw, and didn't understand why it happened. This scene would play out a few more times, women throwing themselves at me for no reason, out of the blue, while our lives are in danger from an angry mob. It's become comical at this point.

Beyond that the actual game is a bit lack-luster. Combat is quite enjoyable but i'm finding most quests amount to nothing more than tedious busy-work. Gather 10 leaves of some obscure plant and bring them back! ...What is this, a mmo? But even so that's not what made me decide to stop playing, put simply the voice-acting is delivered in the most dreadfully monotone i've ever heard. It's so deadpan, your character reacts the same way when comrades die that he would when realizing he's out of toothpaste. It isn't limited to the protagonist either, everyone is suffering from a severe lack of "I don't give a " and delivers their lines without any form of emotion.

In the words of a much funnier man than I, if this game doesn't care about its story then why should I? It's a shame too, because the combat system is quite fun once you get the hang of it. Even with the "Enhanced Edition" Witcher falls flat in too many crucial areas for me to give it a pass. It's been a long time since i played a game as boring as this one.