From the very little that I've read here, I would recommend you add more descriptive passages to draw the reader into the scene, and cut down a bit on the explanations of dialogue. For instance, when the girl jokes about hunting bears, it is really not necessary for you to explain that he is not sure if she is joking, and that she knows that he is not sure if she is joking-- all of this could be expressed in a more natural way.

The premise sounds good, what I've seen so far makes me want to read more... so please, continue.