Time to make Gwyneth blush...

[Banquo's Ghost]

There is a certain conflict in making a thread to thank people. On one hand, it is the height of egotism - "hey, look at me" - yet on the other, it is the height of ingratitude not to recognise the kindness of others.

So ego wins.

I would like to thank everyone who voted for me in the HoF 2006 awards. For some reason, you have seen fit to confer the award for Outstanding Backroom Contributor on me. I would like to think this is a just recognition of the long years working to research gential mutilations in the international field and bring to global attention the essential knowledge of just how dangerous duct tape and a rooftop nail gun can be.

I would of course, like to take the time to thank so many individuals you will all have to rebook your taxis home. But I won't, at least not name by name. Everyone has made an impression on me one way or another. Thank you all for making my time in the Backroom and in the Org such a rewarding* and enjoyable experience.

It reminds me of a time when EDIT: Too much yawn inducing memoir is against forum rules. SC

And of course, special thanks to TosaInu, Ser Clegane and my new colleagues on staff who gave me the incalcuable joy of being able to hand out warnings and other cruelties to innocent posters for no good reason (no, it's true, everyone tells me so each time) thus ensuring I will never get nominated for an award again.

Timing is everything. Thank you.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

*Not just the rewards of free beer at Kukri's and the Senior Member's armed chimpanzee porn stash - but you should see the babes that come with a HoF award

And congratulations to all other award winners too!

[InsaneApache]

You didn't thank your mum and dad.

[Beirut]

According to Machiavelli, I'm supposed to congratulate you but say I didn't vote for you so you won't think I'm a flatterer. But I should swear my allegiance to you none the less so you will bring me into your inner circle of power. Then you will count on me for truthful counsel, and I will be a valuable asset to your princehood.

Or you might just hang me for voting for the other guy...

Well, then, I didn't vote for the other guy and I want to join your gang. Congratulations!

[Louis VI the Fat]

'hot babe with anticipating look in her eyes staring at another award winning member ..'

[Geoffrey S]

Congratulations!

Bear in mind that the award on the left now puts you lot in one line with Abokasee...

[doc_bean]

So...is everyone going to give a little speech ?

[SwordsMaster]

Congrats! Were you crying while writing that post?

[Pannonian]

'hot babe with anticipating look in her eyes staring at another award winning member ..'

This is the Backroom, so it should be a hot hunk gazing lovingly at Banquo.

[Pannonian]

Congrats! Were you crying while writing that post?

No, but he was wearing a clinging pink dress.

[Banquo's Ghost]

Congrats! Were you crying while writing that post?

Blubbering like a man who has just nailed his crown jewels to the guttering.

Hey, Louis, congratulations on the award for Funniest Member. I guess that's why the babe is staring at you.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

I would offer to be your straight man, but in the light of Pannonian's suggestion, it may get misinterpreted

[caravel]

[Adrian II]

Hey, Louis, congratulations on the award for Funniest Member.

Yeah Louis, I hear you've been voted funniest member.

So tell us when the fun starts, will ya?

[Kanamori]

I congratulate myself for avoiding notice.

Nicely done, me.

[Louis VI the Fat]

Yeah Louis, I hear you've been voted funniest member.

So tell us when the fun starts, will ya?

A Frenchman and a Dutchman man are driving head on, at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, their cars are completely destroyed, yet they both crawl out of their cars without so much as a scratch. In celebration of their amazing fortune, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on.

At this point, the Frenchman goes to the trunk of his car and fetches a vintage 1976 Château La Tour de Mons Margaux, still unscated. "Mon Dieu," he says, "our luck knows no limits." He hands the bottle to the Dutchman, exclaiming: ''Praise the Lord and may the French and Dutch forever live in peace and harmony from now on!''

"A toast to our newfound friendship!" the Dutchman replies, and tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he returns the bottle to the Frenchman, who replies: ''no thanks, I'll just wait till the police get here...''

[Adrian II]

"A toast to our newfound friendship!" the Dutchman replies, and tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he returns the bottle to the Frenchman, who replies: ''no thanks, I'll just wait till the police get here...''

After which the Dutchman removes a small plastic bag from behind his crushed rear mirror, tips some of its brownish contents into a cigarette paper along with a bit of tobacco and rolls the mother of all reefers. Three hours later, no one has called the police yet. Both are seated on a nearby slope laughing inanely at the sight of their respective car wrecks. The accident, the police and the Mons Margaux are distant memories by the time the first rays of the all-forgiving sun peer through the morning fog and start warming a truly united Europe.

[Rameusb5]

After which the Dutchman removes a small plastic bag from behind his crushed rear mirror, tips some of its brownish contents into a cigarette paper along with a bit of tobacco and rolls the mother of all reefers. Three hours later, no one has called the police yet. Both are seated on a nearby slope laughing inanely at the sight of their respective car wrecks. The accident, the police and the Mons Margaux are distant memories by the time the first rays of the all-forgiving sun peer through the morning fog and start warming a truly united Europe.

Someone hold me!