Voltaire's Folly

[MonwarH]

[...]



But the devilish tactics and alliances of the seafaring Venetians did not just end with corruptions and unprovoked attacks on our empire on earth. Just as birds of the same nature flock together, the selfish merchants of Venice did ally themselves with their kind in Miland (Milan), much to the dismay of pious Christians. I, Wolfram of Aachen, daresay here that even the Eastern infidels might well be lesser than these devious merchant states who so strive to harm and damage the empire of our Lord, aggravating the wound previously inflicted in the body of our prince Henry. No matter, my Lord Hesse has informed us that, with the aid of the Lord, the Empire will soon march against these ignorant and ungodly people, and take their cities and towns and make them pious and fearful of the hereafter, by the sword if the need arises as such.

[...]



It would not be right either for the pursuer of this document to convince himself, that while these holy efforts were going on, all else remained tranquil and true elsewhere. To be true, it is an everyday occurrence for one of our pious nobles to crush the filthy, ignorant rebels or worse, heretics. To give but one example, retainers of the previous count of Stettin have staged a heavy rebellion near the port in that region. Such are the pitfalls and obstacles that dog the followers of Christ, and such they must overcome if they are to bring forth the earthly manifestation of the kingdom of heaven.

[…]

Before the nones of December had passed, Lord Hesse’s promise was fulfilled. Of course, I, Wolfram, never doubted our liege lord’s word, but there are impious people abound who took such with skepticism as they are wont to do. The manner of victory over the perfidious Milanese was heroic, whence equal, (if not slightly lesser on this holy empire’s side), number of troops facing each other in the field of battle and through sheer devotion to God and tactics of an intelligent manner won the Army of God the day, as was only expected, and the enemy fled so far and so fast that in the last none but our Lord God alone was pursuing them, and then they ransomed their nobles. Oh, the joy within this servant’s heart to see the divine plans comes to fruition. Moreover, victory was also achieved over the adamant northern rebels of Stettin where the righteous Count Dimarus von Wolfsburg’s army surrounded the wretched souls with reinforcements from Hamburg and killed many of them. The rest, of course, took to the omens of pious glory and there and then promised to follow a rigorous Christian life, some immediately taking the cross. The soul melts to see the manifestation of God’s will!

[...]



The ides of January bring forth to the servants of Christ great news indeed, as their piousness and strength of arms have come together to pose a deadly threat to the unfaithful indeed. Forsooth, this humble servant visited the Count Andreas von Kassel, to appeal to this most righteous former conqueror of Prague to repeat his glory against the enemies of God, and he did piously submit his supplications to our holy Lord in Heaven and replied in the positive.

Very soon, our glorious Count Andreas set forth with his army, smaller than the first Army of the Lord led by the Prince Helmut, but still marvelously formidable, and decided to partake first in the punishment of Christ’s enemies within the ranks who weaken the religious from inside, the most ungodly Venetians. Their new capital, Zagreb, was previously laid siege by our most pious Prince, to verily show the sacrilegious Doge that the justice of the Lord doesn’t lose steam so very soon. Lord Hesse suggested that future techniques against both the formidable Venetian castle of Ragusa and their new capital, Zagreb, might be expected from the most intelligent of these nobles.

It is also to be said that this night both of us witnessed a star breaking into two parts and falling to the earth, a most telling omen! All praise to our Lord in Heaven, for the manifestation of the Kingdom of Heaven is nigh indeed!

[MonwarH]

Folio V: Of Further Advancements of the Most Holy Roman Empire of Our Lord at the Cost of Treacherous Merchant Kingdoms and Rebels



All praise to Jesus Christ, our Lord in Heaven, and Mary, the Mother of God, that the most holy Roman Emperor, Heinrich, most affectionately called ‘the Champion’ by his people, and one with the most advanced intelligence on the techniques of battle of all the generals of our empire, have decided to punish the most impious and opportunistic Milanese, the co-conspirators and allies of the vile Venetians, who are already suffering under the wrath of God, in the form of Prince Helmut and Count Andreas von Kassel. Of course, the most holy Emperor has a kingdom to attend to, and as such could not take the cross, (and verily, if all the princes and nobles do take the cross, who will remain to take care of the folk who have already devoted their life to the Christian faith?), but did mass a most formidable militia to siege and make tremble the impious nobles of the city of Milan. And in this endeavor the religious elite in the form of some most pious inquisitors also joined, in lieu of opposing our empire, (as some of them did in the act of slaying our most noble prince previously), as they did know that this most holy Emperor of ours is also our staunchest in matters of faith.

[...]



Learning that the foul Venetians have gathered a formidable army of men at their Southern castle of Ragusa to relieve the siege of Zagreb, our most august Prince Helmut was forced to take the decision to swiftly assault said city. Forsooth, he undertook such an endeavor with a leaden heart, as that servitor of God had known that such assaults always cost the pious soldiers of the Lord’s Army their lives. But he girded himself manfully and instructed his fellow crusaders to take up joyful arms in the name of Christ and teach the treacherous Venetians a lesson in piety and valor.

Teach they did, these most pious of men. I, Wolfram of Aachen, was present in that battle, whence I saw a flood of Godly men cutting down the foul Doge of Venice and his heir apparent like the heretics they are. Surely our Lord in Heaven would reward those who have died in valor in their attempts to remove such treacherous and sinful men from this earth.

[...]



Once the city of Zagreb had been captured, and some of the traitors to Christianity murdered for their sins by our men and their properties invested to the holy cause, the most Pious Prince Helmut Merowinger saw it prudent to stay at that town for a while to drive the fear of Lord unto the people. But of course, the taking of the Holy Land from the infidels in the East could not wait, and as such, the choicest units of the Prince’s eastbound army were sent to Count Andreas von Kassel, another of our most pious lords whom, among others, I, Wolfram of Aachen, had convinced to join the armed pilgrimage. With these reinforcements, the Count boasted a most formidable army to drive fear into the very heart of those who have abused the holiest of lands for so long.

[...]

Such impetuosity! On this day, the third of the first month of the Year of Our Lord 1126, three battles (groups) of soldiers, two archers and one of sergeants who adopted the way of the cross, have left the town of Zagreb, and with it our most pious Prince Helmut, in their hurry to reach the Holy Land and show their conviction, as if others of the army lacks such. Rather, they have learned patience. Suffice to say that our most august Prince was not inconsiderate and understood the pious urge of these men, and as such, he himself left the city soon after pious supplications to our Lord’s church in the town, leaving it without an active garrison, trusting the good Christians to take care of themselves. The prudent Lord, of course, also instructed Count Hesse from Vienna to dispatch some troops to protect this new treasure of the Lord’s Empire, who will reach that place by the end of the ides of June, as this servant of God, accompanying the Prince, understands.

[MonwarH]

[…]

With the highest amount of respect paid to our most Holy Father in Rome, who has the blood of Romans flowing and originates from the north of Italy, it must also be said that most inhabitants of that land are traitorous and fickle in nature (behold those merchants’ behavior, a shame!). However many mock quarrels they might have among themselves, these rather impious people do make a show of unity before their pious betters. I, Wolfram of Aachen, say this because our most holy kingdom was assaulted on many fronts by three Italian factions, including Venice, then Milan, and finally Sicily. Forsooth, the army from Sicily was traitorous enough to bring infidel archers with them to lay siege to our capital, Bologna. What contaminations the legendary Normans have undergone in that nefarious island!

Of course, the Lord would never let these treacherous fools triumph against his holy Champion, our august Emperor Heinrich. In deed, for the defense of Bologna, troops converged from the Southern town of Florence and the great Northern city of Venice, and from Milan in the west, where our most august emperor had just finished conquering that city after a rather lengthy siege, came our emperor himself. Although the Sicilians brought forth a most powerful and professional army (lesser in numbers, to be sure, but veteran soldiers all, the best of that forsaken island kingdom and Naples), what chance they had in front of our pious warriors? To be certain, the most breathtaking fight took place in the middle of the battlefield between our august emperor and their traitor Prince Alberto, both of who fought valiantly in their chargers, but what chance did a traitor to Christ have in front of one armored by faith? And so, the Prince of Sicily did perish, and our most holy empire did demonstrate to the mortal realms the power of faith.



It is also through these trials that we learn of those whose staunchness of faith manifests itself into great skill in leading the faithful and great prowess in battle. Such a thing happened on this day too, as a lowly frontier captain called Heinricus von Frankfurt, previously garrisoned in the walls of Florence, proved his worth with his troops of archers and spearmen. The Emperor most happily rewarded the zeal of this worthy warrior by adopting him into his royal family.

[…]

You must know, my fellow faithful, that the devilry of the Italians know no bound, as an army of Genoa, which calls itself a part of that accursed and perfidious state of Milan, led by the most foul Captain Piccardo, who should be beaten with a rod or burned in flames, attacked the newly captured city of Milan, seeing that the noble Emperor had left to aid the assault against the Sicilians. The stone walls of Milan did give this accursed army a pause, but from inside the battlements our soldiers could see that they were building rams and ladders urgently to assault the city. Not willing to see their beautiful city damaged, and urged on by a pious zeal against these ungodly folk, our garrison in Milan did attack this most vile army of Genoa, constituting mostly of their feared crossbowmen and many spear militia from the peninsula, with utmost speed. The captain suggested that the archers of Milan first try to decimate some of their foul crossbowmen. Although a most amazing archer battle was fought near the walls which darkened the sky, we saw that the thick armor and shield of those foul crossbowmen protected them, whereas their still tipped bolts tore through many of our archer brethren.



Seeing what was happening, the commander of the garrison then suggested an attack of all kinds of soldiers on an urgent basis (a rapid combined arms assault). That proved to be the death of the Genoese, as our many spear militia and horsemen quickly sallied forth protected by the black rain of arrows (although some did perish) and surrounded the smaller Genoese army, with the mailed knights to their back. Then our archers, in their great fury at seeing their brethren killed, also joined in the glorious hand to hand combat, and the fight that broke out could be called a Genoese massacre, so many were killed. Many were also imprisoned, but their perfidious master, what better could be expected of such, denied us any ransom, and they were also massacred to a man. Several months after the war, my good friend Aubery of Clermont visited the city and described the pile of white bones outside the walls. Such is the price those pay who come to fight against the Kingdom of Christ.

[…]



All praise the Lord God, blessed be He in the Heavens, I, Wolfram of Aachen, have just received news from Reynald of Montferrat that both the Prince Merowinger and Count von Kassel’s armies have landed in the Northern portion of Asia Minor (Anatolia). There was a slight delay in rearranging the forces, and the Turks are said to be most angry at this development, but all the people agree that henceforth no one can stop these armies of Christ. My bowel ailment has passed and I will soon board a Venetian ship to join them in their pious endeavors. In the meantime, I have urged Reynald of Montferrat to compile the chronicles of our empire in these Occidental lands and send those to me by all means so that a rare and excellent history of the Empire of Christ can be compiled for people to wonder hereafter.

[MonwarH]

[…]



What are human whims to that of our Lord in Heaven? While the newly conquered populace of Milan were trembling in fright of the great Milanese armies unleashed by the corrupt Duke of that accursed state, the wisdom of the Lord struck the captain of that force. The vile machinations of the Milanese were, in a moment, clear as daylight to that person, and thereafter he hath decided to abstain from attacking our armies (no less formidable, I hurry to add), which were busy besieging the city of Genoa. Forsooth, they did not turn against their own countrymen in Genoa (which would be imprudent to expect), but I, Wolfram of Aix (Aachen), commend this man to God for his boldness and the righteousness of his decision. (Added later: Reynald adds that Fulk of Rubreck suggests that the Milanese Duke was also defaulting at the payments of this large Southern army, which hastened his decision. We all must remember how our Lord in Heaven has a hand in such coincident, and it is He who make rich out of paupers and paupers out of the rich.)

[…]



In the meanwhile, a most devious tactic of battle applied by an elector Duke of Franconia, Dietrich von Saxony, has resulted in the surrender of the great Lorraine castle of Metz, which stands rather close to my hometown, which seems so far from this Moslem land of Trebizond. I am, of course, overjoyed at this turn of events, and have made pious supplications to our most Revered Lord in Heaven at his aid in bringing forth such a wondrous turn of events through his servant Reynald of Montferrat, in this day of the feast of Saint Peter in Chains, in the Year of Our Lord 1140. Raymond of Chartres has illustrated for this tome a most elaborate illustration of the great feint employed by the Duke for the pursuers of this chronicle. The devious Franconian Duke, who arrived in Staufen from Frankfurt earlier to properly drive the war effort against the Milanese deviants, first dispatched a small detachment to besiege the even smaller garrison of Metz (black line). After a while, he himself, with a much larger detachment, ventured out and crossed the Maas to behave as if he intends to attack the town where the Milanese Duke is hiding, at Dijon (red line). Seeing the great threat, the largest Milanese army, located southward near Bern, ventured fast to intercept that army (green line). The army led by the Duke then appropriately followed suit and joined with the much smaller detachment to fast assault that town of Metz. At the end of the year, the Milanese could only look at wonderment in such application of wit as both detachments, including the Duke, safely sat behind the walls of Metz castle, stranding the largest Milanese force in the foothills. All praise to our Lord, he has filled the heads of our generals with such cunning so that they might curve out his Holy Empire from the perfidious and the ungodly.

[…]



The Lord has again filled our hearts with great joy as we receive more happy tidings from the West in this day of the feast of Saint Bernard, in the year 1140. I write this from the land called Trebizond, with the Armies of the Cross, whereas the tidings noted here come from that servant of the Lord, Reynald of Montferrat whom I introduced earlier and who currently stays with the noble Heinricus von Frankfurt, Duke of Milan. He tells me that the city of Genoa has been taken, with the aid of the Lord when He turned the army sent to relief this port city against its impious Duke. Forsooth, those defenders within the city, a troop of the formidable archers of Genoa and two Milanese nobles with their assorted chosen bodyguards, did try their best to hold the city. Reynald’s writing conveys that the pile of bodies from the fighting in the walls against the crossbowmen was terrible and a sight to behold as they were later thrown from the walls. Henceforth the troops overtook the gates and accompanying towers, regrouped, lured the foolhardy nobles in to charge against the arrayed spearmen and finally, our mailed knights chased these tyrants to the center of the town to rid them off this world, but it was not an easy task, as these were the chosen men from the populace of Genoa. The victory, when it came, however, was sound indeed, and the blow that has been dealt to the Milanese is severe, as they have lost two of their valuable towns within a space of two years, and have only a single town left, namely Dijon, where their vile Duke trembles in fear of our mighty forces. Such is the punishment our Lord God delivers to those who betray Him and his faithful.

[MonwarH]

[…]



That our holy empire is a force for the Lord Jesus Christ can never be in doubt when one visits the recently conquered pagan settlement of Stettin. A friend of Reynald, Fulk of Rubreck, a Flemish priest, visited Stettin recently on Saint Mark’s Day, on the year 1140, and has written to us how so many priests, with the aid of the most pious and fervent cardinal Peter Scherer, are doing their best to show these lowly pagans the light of Christ throughout the province. This fills my heart with joy, for we have not betrayed the word of the Lord among the glory of victories that he hath provided us with, and surely such pious activities will bring forth more blessings and miracles from our Lord in Heaven.

[…]

Praise be to Saint Anselm, on whose feast I write this, that in these ensuing two years our armies have struck again to defeat significant forces of those vile Venetians. Reynald informs me that when a small but significant army of Venice dared to siege Zagreb, the numerous pious locals, who intend naught but to stay within our religious empire, attacked most boldly and crushed this army through sheer pious zeal. Another, much larger army moved with a massive siege chain to attack the great port of Venice, but was intercepted on its way by Duke Heinricus von Frankfurt and utterly destroyed, mostly by our ranged troops, and some bold merchants who, rather piously, decided to mount on horses, don their armor, and surround and chase these enemies of Christ from their lands. After this bloodbath, the rest of this army fled with their lives and we heard that they paid and promised to act like slaves to stay within the households and hide amongst the Italians in the countryside.

In all this time, however, the traitor Pope in Rome has become increasingly hostile at our supreme power. All concerned knows what a quarrel he has had with our most holy and righteous Emperor whose divine rights he doesn’t recognize and whom he has excommunicated, such sheer folly! This Pope supposedly can now even no longer suffer the name of our most Holy Roman Empire, what daring! Upon learning this I paid pious tributes to our Lord in Heaven so that he allows good sense to prevail on this pretender so that he can do us no more damage with his devious Tuscan merchant mind and usurped authority.

[…]



My brother in faith, Reynald, he of Montferrat, has just completed drawing forth a rather detailed map of our most Holy Roman Empire and its surroundings, commissioned by a certain Count of the Upper Palatinate. He has seen it fit to send me a small drawing in his letter, may God bless him for his efforts. It is amply clear how much the Lord has blessed us with land in these last six decades, as I, now infirm with age and ailment, remember, whence as a young student I did visit Munich for certain business to be conducted for my abbey, how much smaller this holy Germanic Empire was.

[…]

All praise to God, and all glory only to Him, as in these last few years He has blessed us with three rather competent Generals who can be trusted on to carry forth his glory throughout. All three fought most marvelously and defeated the various traitorous rebels which have cropped up in our empire, or have migrated here after their paymasters stopped compensating them, as in the case of the Italian rebel army.



The first general, an able captain from Nuremberg, is Nikolaus der Bar, who destroyed some Franconian rebels without even injuring one of his men.



The second men, Wenzel von Jungingen, defeated those many Milanese traitors who were pillaging our Genoese lands most mercilessly as their perfidious master ceased compensating them.



The final man defeated a rather large armed Bavarian uprising which was fomenting for a very long time now and by now had gained much strength, but with his intelligent tactics of battle, this Gottfied von Felben defeated them with ease. May the Lord bless them and bring glory and honor to our people through them.

[MonwarH]

[At this stage, in the year 1144, the 64 year old Wolfram of Aachen dies of natural causes, the very same year that the Cardinal Peter Scherer dies. Although he believed secretly that the divine powers would keep him alive for as long as necessary to narrate the story of the Holy Roman Empire, that does not seem to be the case. Since his death, his chronicles have been continued in a rather dispersed and haphazard manner by Reynald of Montferrat and Aubery of Clermont, among several of his associates, and many others after them, resulting in over 33 folios with significant overlap. We, however, have decided, for the reader’s convenience, to compile these sources and provide a third person narrative of the events occurring hereafter, in a chronological manner and using the contemporary form of the English language.]



Dimarus von Wolfsburg achieved a heroic victory to take the rebel Flemish settlement of Antwerp in 1144. His primary intention was to besiege the city to submission with his smaller force, but the garrison inside saw his less numerous forces and sallied forth to attack him. Little did they know the skill and valor of this adopted general, who routed, killed or injured nearly 500 men with a loss of a mere 59.



In the meantime, the opportunistic Danes saw it fit to attack the northern castle of Hamburg with three units of catapults and one rather ambitious unit of town militia. The defenders inside not only routed this army (picture shows the chasing of a lone Dane catapult operator running a massive marathon crisscrossing the battlefield), but also used the nearby navy of Admiral Athalwolf to land a 3-unit army very close to the Danish capital of Arhus. Such insolence needs to be punished severely.

The worrying factor now is that the Holy Roman Empire is now at war with Poland, Venice, Milan, Sicily, Denmark and Egypt. Besides, Hungary doesn’t look too promising, the Turks are mighty riled off as we have marched two massive crusading armies through their heartlands and the Pope can’t ‘stand the mention of our name’. This is getting interesting.

[MonwarH]

Bern was taken with the help of a spy and by a massive assault by Dietrich von Saxony.

Before moving any further, I would like to present the reader of this AAR with some information on the current world situation so that he can follow the events more closely and enjoy it.

The Holy Roman Empire currently has 11 cities and 6 castles.

Current Settlements: (In order of acquirement)
1. Frankfurt
2. Nuremburg
3. Staufen
4. Bologna (Capital and highest population – 17,222)
5. Vienna
6. Innsbruck
7. Hamburg
8. Prague
9. Florence
10. Stettin
11. Venice (Third largest in population – 12,880)
12. Zagreb
13. Milan (Second largest city regarding population – 13,026)
14. Metz
15. Genoa
16. Antwerp
17. Bern

Turn number – 34 (and date is winter, 1146, anyone knows which button shows current date?).

Battles W/L: 35/1 (Difficulty: default, probably M/M)

Number of Generals: 13

Current cities besieged: Edessa, Antioch

Cities/Castles taken this turn:
Ragusa (spy infiltrated and opened gate for Heinricus von Frankfurt who was transported across the Adriatic by the Easter Adriatic fleet of the HRE)


Sightseeing in Ragusa

The HRE’s standing with the Pope is really low now, 1 (Pope wants us to burn in Hell).