March Of The Penguins - A Spanish AAR

[kublikhan3]

This is my second AAR/fan fiction. I am playing as the Spanish faction. It is played on VH/VH, vanilla M2TW, no patches. To make things more interesting, I am limiting my army recruitment to peasants only. No other troops will be allowed in my armies save for my generals.

March Of The Penguins : A Spanish AAR


Prologue
It is the year of our Lord 722. We have endured the rule of these blasphemous Moors for over a decade now. But it appears our prayers have finally been answered. Last year, in their arrogance, the Moors attempted an invasion across the Pyrenees into the Kingdom of the Franks. Our Christian brothers managed to drive the devils out of their lands and back into Iberia. Keen to regroup after such a defeat, the Moors decided to consolidate their power in Iberia before marching again on the Franks. Our leader, Pelayo, had only 300 men loyal to him. An army of over a thousand Moors marched on us here in Asturia. We have been hiding from the Moorish armies for over a decade, but Pelayo was determined to make a stand. He marched his army into the mountains of Asturia and guarded a mountain pass, waiting for the Moors to strike. The Moors were slaughtered as they attempted to break our lines. We had finally bested the devils on the field of battle, and we were now determined to drive them out of Iberia as well. The Reconquista had begun.

The Reconquista, Early Years
It is the year of our Lord 966. No longer mere rebels who run and hide at the sight of the Moors, we have carved ourselves out a small kingdom in Northwestern Iberia. We have made our capitol at Leon. Our expansion has been marred by our impoverishment and internal rivalries. Nearby Castile has been challenging our power, and the western territories of Portugal have tried to claim independence one more than one occasion. But at least we live free of the Moors. Our backwater territories leave much to be desired in terms of real wealth and our leaders have there eyes set on taking Toledo, a major city to the south.

The Taking of Toledo
It is the Year of our Lord 1088. Toledo has fallen to our forces. The city and it's client kingdoms brought new wealth to our impoverished people and mark a major milestone of our Reconquista. Yet while our king Alfonso was fighting the enemies of all of Christendom, our political rivals took the opportunity to strike out against us. Portugal has yet again broken away from our empire and declared it's independence. Worse still, Castile struck at Leon itself and decimated our forces. Leon remained in our hands and Alfonso was able to stamp out the last of his political rivals in Castile, but he was truly devastated that his own people took up arms against him. He therefore passed a new law that declared only the royal family and their entourage of guards were permitted to own weapons and amour. All others, even our own army, were strictly forbidden from owning or even possessing weapons of war. This way, Alfonso would ensure that the Royal Guards would be able to quickly stamp out any signs of rebellion. The flip side of course, meant that our army would have no weapons or armour, and would have to fight with pitch forks and other crude farm implements. An ineffective army perhaps, but Alfonso felt it was the only way. And so the old army was disbanded and a new army of peasants was begun. Recruitment of this new peasant army progressed slowly, even with Leon converted into a castle to speed the recruitment. Alfonso was unhappy with this slow progress and was berating his underling, Fernando.

"Fernando! This half dozen units of peasants you have assembled is unacceptable! How am I to enforce my title of King of Spain with such a force at my command?"
"I am sorry my liege. We have only recently completed our mustering hall at Toledo and converted Leon to a castle. Perhaps we should include a few non peasant units in our army? We could hire..."
"Never! I will not risk a repeat of the rebellion. Continue training peasants as fast as possible. We need to grow our armies quickly."
"My liege, no kingdom will take us seriously with a peasant army at our command. Perhaps you should at the very least think up some terrifying name for our new empire?"
"No! The lower opinion the enemy has of our armed forces the better. I want to lull them into a false sense of security. We shall be the Empire of...what was that strange bird your cousin told me of from his distant journeys? Those flightless birds that waddle around?"
"Penguins?"
"Yes. We shall be the Empire of Penguins. Make the necessary preparations."
"<Gulp> Yes my liege."

The Empire Strikes Back
Since taking Toledo, we have had a uneasy peace with the Empire of the Moors. We had finally assembled a full army of peasants and were preparing to launch a campaign to take the rebel city of Valencia, when the Moors laid siege to Leon. If anything, we had expected A Moorish thrust to come from Cordoba and hit Toledo, not Leon. No matter, our army was close enough to relieve the siege of Leon. We engaged the Moors in the hills outside of Leon.


Though we outnumbered them about nine hundred to their six hundred, our predominantly peasant army was outmatched. Worse still, the Moors had moved their forces to the top of a hill. By the time our peasants had finished climbing the hill, they were now exhausted and under enemy fire. Our peasants had just gone from ineffective to worthless. It was now up to the Royal Guard to save our capitol from these devils. All five of our Royal Guard units charged the enemy archers. These were easily routed. The enemy spearmen put up a bit more of a fight, but with five of the Royal Guards hitting a single unit of enemy spearmen, they were broken one by one as well. Next, the Royal Guard charged down the enemy general and managed to capture him. With his capture, the moral of the enemy troops began to waver. We sent in our peasant forces at this time to join the assault and the enemy began breaking in droves. Only the enemy cavalry remained who thus far had managed to elude our forces. But with the rest of their army broken, our forces easily routed the enemy cavalry and the entirety of their army as well.


We ransomed the prisoners back to their Sultan, Tahar, who paid a premium of four thousand gold pieces for their return. With Leon safe and our new army battle tested, their was now nothing to stand in the way of the Reconquista. King Alfonso issued orders to head south, beginning what would come to be known as The March Of The Penguins.

[Zuraffo]

All peasants army? Wow! Good luck to the spanish campaign! Anyway I enjoyed your Egyptian AAR, hope you'll do better with this one!

[kublikhan3]

March Of The Penguins
Before tangling with the devil empire again, we decided to march on Valencia first. With Zaragosa having fallen to the Portuguese, it was the last rebel stronghold in all of Spain. We sent our spy ahead to open the gates for us. When our army arrived, there was no siege stage and we moved immediately to battle. With no hill to climb this time, we would get to put our peasants to work for a change. We sent the entire lot of them into the enemy gate. They were intercepted by some mailed knights and a pair of Jinetes. We didn't want to lose too many peasants so we sent in the royal guards to help. The enemy must have sensed they were being overrun, and brought their archers and spearmen down off of the walls. They must have been trying to withdraw them to the town square. Instead they ran smack into the middle of our advancing Royal Guards. The guards had no trouble cutting them down, but it meant the peasants would be on their own a bit longer. Apparently, the rebel cavalry had enough of being surrounded and withdrew what was left of their cavalry forces to the town square. Their infantry forces were not so lucky and were all cut down. The only full strength enemy unit left was their general. We sent in our peasants ahead to occupy the attention of the enemy units. Then the Royal Guards charged in and cut down what was left. Valencia was ours. We had gained a new peasant training facility as well.

We doubled up the wounded peasant units and marched the remainder down to Cordoba. It was time to teach the devils another lesson in warfare. Apparently they needed it, for they left their capital with minimal defenses. The battle to secure Cordoba was even easier than the battle for Valencia. The city was ours. Even better, Granada had feeble defenses as well. We marched our army south to Granada. With the help of our spy, we were able to take the city in the same year as Cordoba. Things seem to be going extremely well when three pieces of dreadful news hit our empire at the same time.

Firstly, Portugal declared war on us. They wasted no time in laying siege to Valencia. With only one army in our empire and it being stationed at Granada, we would not have time to relieve the siege of Valencia. Secondly, the devils brought the bulk of their army just outside Cordoba. It was a huge force, a full army of enemy troops. They must have emptied their garrisons and had this army enroute to take our cities. Then they turned around when we took theirs. That would explain the minimal resistance we faced sacking their cities. While victorious in the last three battles, our casualties were not light. We were now down to five peasant units. It did not seem likely we could stop this huge devil army. The final bit of bad news: the Portuguese made an alliance with the devils. This was perhaps the most damning news of all.


"What are the Portuguese thinking? They suffered along with the rest of us under Moorish rule. Are they so blinded by their petty posturing that they would sell themselves to the Devil?"
"I imagine it is more an alliance of convenience my liege. The Portuguese saw our cities vulnerable with our march against the Moors and decided to act on it. They saw a common enemy in us. They would probably turn on each other once we were out of the way."
"They have gone too far this time. Allying themselves with the blood enemy of all of Spain is unthinkable. I do not intend to allow the Portuguese off lightly as my predecessors have done. We will cut down every last one of those rebellious scum and end their insurrection once and for all!"
"Then, you would have us order our army to march on their cities?"
"No, not yet. First we must allow them to cripple themselves by alienating his holiness the Pope. Until that time we will fight a defensive war and drive out the last of the devils from Spain! Order a diplomat to be sent to Rome, in case we need to sway the Pope to our cause with a donation or two."
"Yes my liege."

The next few years brought some interesting developments. We moved what was left of our army to Cordoba to protect the city from the Moors. Shortly thereafter, the devils laid siege to the city. For some reason, the Portuguese lifted their siege of Valencia. We were not sure why. It was too early to be feeling any heat from the Pope. And while their siege force was rather small, we were certain they could defeat our garrison force which consisted of a pathetic two units of peasants. Perhaps they grew wary of the large garrison of peasants massing in Toledo? At any rate, we were grateful for this respite as it allowed us to concentrate on the Moors and finish the Reconquista once and for all. With no other army available, it was up to the garrison of Cordoba to defend themselves from the Moorish siege.

End Of The Reconquista
We saw no reason to sit around and wait for the devils to attack us. We sallied forth and attacked their besieging army. Though we were outnumbered about four hundred to nine hundred, and our peasant forces were completely out classed, we had god on our side and knew in our hearts we would prevail. The enemy lined up their troops with a pair of cavalry skirmishers to our left flank, and the bulk of their army on our right. Their archers and crossbowmen were out in front, spearmen behind them, and their general cowering way in the back. He probably wet himself when he saw the Royal Guards charging out of the gates. First they went after the enemy archers. We only engaged one of them before becoming entangled in fighting their spearmen, probably the enemies exact intention. We had all five of our guards charge one enemy at a time and managed to route two enemy archer units and two enemy spearmen units. But fighting enemy spearmen in a war of attrition is not what we wanted. We sent in all of our peasants to keep the remaining spearmen and crossbowmen busy. We completely ignored the enemy cavalry skirmishers. The Royal Guards decided to go after this coward of an enemy general next. All five targeted him. His army tried to aid him but it was too late, he was killed. With this event the enemy's moral began to waver. With peasants hitting them from the front and the Royal Guards hitting them from the rear, the devil infantry began to break one by one. We ran them all down before turning our attention to the hitherto ignored devil cavalry skirmishers. We charged into them and routed both of them as well. Sadly, we lost one of our precious generals in this engagement. But the battle was ours.


With one more battle that same year to take care of a small devil reinforcement army, the Moors were finally driven out of Spain. The Reconquista was over, Spain was ours! Only one threat left to deal with before we could claim to be the masters of Spain, those treacherous Portuguese. King Alfonso was determined to see them all cut down like lambs to the slaughter. Join me for me next installment: Silence Of The Lambs.

[kublikhan3]

Silence Of The Lambs
Still wishing to avoid attacking another Christian nation less we risk the wrath of the Pope, King Alfonso spent the next few years driving back the invading armies from Portugal. With most of our peasants killed battling the Moors, we had to send the now depleted Royal Guards off alone. In one such engagement, we were lucky enough to catch the King of Portugal himself, Henrique. He had less than two hundred men with him, and Alfonso took great pleasure in riding Henrique down himself. Still, Alfonso grew tired of waiting for the Pope to take action against these traitors. We had to teach the Portuguese we mean business. Alfonso took the Royal Guards and marched on Lisbon itself. Wishing to avoid as much conflict as possible while in Portuguese lands, we snaked our way past two armies before siegeing Lisbon. We had been training spies like mad in Cordoba for just such an occurrence. They opened the gates before Portugal could bring up their armies to help them. The Portuguese were no match for the Royal Guards and we sacked Lisbon to teach them a painful lesson.

We don't know if the Pope was waiting to see if we were powerful enough to defeat Portugal, or if his ultimate had finally run out, but the year before we laid siege to Lisbon Portugal was excommunicated. We were delighted at this news as we could finish off the Portuguese without repercussions. But after we took Lisbon, the Pope forgave the Portuguese indiscretions and welcomed them back to the Church. He still wanted to see the Portuguese burn in hell, but they were no longer excommunicated. We were back to treading lightly for Alfonso did not wish to anger the Pope. At least Lisbon was ours so we could take out all western Portuguese armies without fear of reprisals. Despite having no peasant support, the Royal Guards were able to accomplish this task. Portugal was quick to respond however and send two armies to lay siege to Toledo and Valencia. They also joined forces with the Moors to blockade every single one of our ports, strangling our trade income.


With the Royal Guards busy in the west, we had no choice but to engage the Portuguese besieging armies with nothing but peasants. Fortunately our castles spent the last several years training a large number of peasants. We engaged both enemy armies in the same year and drove them back to their lands. One battle was a heroic victory and we gained a Royal Guard unit in the east to lead one of our new peasant armies. We sent one of our eastern armies against Zaragosa and the other against Pamplona. After their defeat in the last battle, we had weakened the enemy armies enough to take Zaragosa without too much trouble. We were delighted again when we laid siege to Zaragosa that the Pope excommunicated Portugal for a second time. But just like clockwork, once the city was ours the schizophrenic Pope had forgave the Portuguese again. Our Pamplona army was defeated and was forced to retreat. Portugal combined all their remaining eastern forces to the defense of Pamplona. Likewise, We combined all our eastern forces for the final battle of Pamplona. Fourteen hundred peasants vs. three hundred Portuguese, mostly knights and generals.

Our spies opened up the gates of Pamplona and soon we had all fourteen hundred of our peasants inside the castle walls. We feared the enemy would mass in the town square, where their moral was strongest and they could cut down any peasants that invaded. Much to our delight, they sent their king in alone to charge into our throng of peasants. As his body guards were dying, the king called for some mailed knights and jinetes to back him up. But even with these reinforcements, they were no match for our overwhelming numbers. We struck down their king and the remaining knights fled:


We had hoped to rest for a bit as our forces were growing tired, but the enemy allowed us no respite. A fresh general unit charged into our forces joined by the rallied mailed knights. These too eventually broke before overwhelming numbers. This pattern repeated for some time. They would charge into us, break, then rally and start the whole cycle over again. Their few infantry forces joined the assault and were cut down as well. Our men were now exhausted. Even the long lulls between charges were not enough to recuperate our men. Still, the enemy was down to less than ten percent of their original strength and we felt we could risk a charge even with exhausted troops. We were not disappointed. The few troops at the town square were slaughtered and the city was ours. The Portuguese were no more. The sacking of their cities ensured they paid a hundred fold for their treachery. Now Spain was truly ours:


By the time our diplomat arrived in Rome, the Portuguese had already been eliminated. The Pope was none to happy at this news and did not great our diplomat very warmly.
"So, the wicked have come to my halls to beg my forgiveness. We thought the Spanish were honorable, good Christians. You actions against Portugal tell a different story however."
"Your holiness, it was the Portuguese who rebelled against us, who treacherously made war on us when we were driving the devils out of Spain, and were even excommunicated twice by your own decrees. Surely you would agree they were no friend of Christianity."
"That doesn't mean we wanted to see them all exterminated. You accuse the Portuguese of treachery, but your actions are taking you down the same dark path as well. You would do well to make amends for your sins."
"Your holiness is wise in all things. We do wish to purge ourselves of these sins with a donation to the church of two thousand gold pieces. Also, please, accept this map of all known Spanish territory, may it contribute to your wisdom."
"Perhaps the Spanish are good Christians after all. We gladly accept your donation as restitution for your sins. Go now, and tell your king God smiles on him."

A small donation and the Pope was happy with our faction again. If the Pope is willing to forgive genocide, he may be willing to forgive anything, for a price of course. We will have to keep this in mind the next time some Christian faction annoys us. For now we had other matters to attend to. The devils used the respite we gave them to raise a new army and were invading Spain again. We were sure the Pope would be delighted to see the fall of these people. We left a large army at Pamplona, just incase the French decide to make war on us. We then started concentrating our forces in the south, for it seemed there were Devils Abound.

[kublikhan3]

Devils Abound
The invading army of devils consisted of about five hundred men. At first this was not too much of a concern as we had over eleven hundred men in the area. But the Devil's force was comprised predominately of cavalry and mounted skirmishers, which were difficult for peasants to catch let alone kill. We decided to wait for the Royal Guards to come up to assist in this battle. They had been chasing down rebels and the remnants of the former Portuguese army.


With the Royal Guards in the battle, victory was a foregone conclusion. We sent our thousand plus peasants forward in a massive charge. Those who stood their ground were cut down where they stood. The Royal Guards rode down the remaining cowards. With the Devils driven out of Spain yet again, the way was clear to invade the Devils' homeland. We took Marrakesh without too much trouble, but another large force of Devils was nearby. At first it looked like we would not have to engage this force. They joined the Jihad that was called against Baghdad. Those slimy devils did not march on Baghdad however. They just used the Jihad to recruit religious fanatics to use against us and used the speed boost to hunt our army down. We joined our army with some reinforcements from Granada and killed this latest devil army. We then marched on Algiers and took what we thought was the final Moorish city. But even with Algiers in our hands, the Moors still lived.

Religious Matters
"Fernando! Are these devils or cockroaches? Every time we think we have killed them all more spring up somewhere else."
"Alas my lord, it appears we are driving them east. With each new territory we conquer they claim another on the opposite side of their empire."
"Then we will have to redouble our drive eastward. We need to take out the last of their territories before they claim more. And what is with that heretic outside of Leon? Did you know he has converted the last four priests we sent to stop him into heretics as well? He is starting a heretic cult in our own capitol, from our own priests! Where is an inquisitor when you need one?"
"It appears this heretic is most persuasive my liege. We should send our cardinal to deal with him."
"Very well. But I fear I will not live to see the end of the Moors Fernando. My health begins to fail me."
"We will carry on in your name my liege."

Our king's prediction of his own demise proved accurate, he died later that year. Ironically, the Pope died the very same year. Luckily, we had two seats in the Cardinal college and managed to carry the vote of our favored Pope. He was elected, and was most grateful for the support we showed him. It took many more attempts to denounce the heretic of Leon. But after years of effort, our Cardinal was finally successful. We should have been careful what we wished for however. Rumors of the heretic of Leon had started to spread and drew the attention of an Inquisitor. He already denounced one of our own priests as a heretic. We scattered all of the Royal Guard and priests in the area before he could denounce them as well. Nice that he shows up after we have already dealt with the matter! Our new king, Rodrigo, made sure to keep the Pope happy, and if our relations ever dropped too low we would raise them with a donation or two. It appears not all the Christian rulers held the Pope in such high regard. Milan and England had already been excommunicated once and looked in danger of becoming so again. Denmark and Hungary were not enamored to the Pope either.

Events Far And Wide
While we were busy conquering the Moors, we kept a close eye on events in Christendom. It appears it was not the French we had to fear but Milan. They had already taken all but two of the French cities, and were marching a full army at Spain! We had spent the last few years raising a second army on the French border, bringing our total armies to three: one in Africa and two on the French border. Wherever it appeared Milan would invade, we would rush our two armies to persuade them to leave. They would then try to go around the Pyrenees and invade from another route. We continued this cat and mouse for a few years when Milan finally declare war on us. Apparently they grew frustrated at trying to catch us off-guard and laid siege to French held Toulouse instead. Toulouse barely held, leaving the French with Reims and Toulouse in their possession. Milan's empire now stretched from Milan to Bordeaux, and north to Angers and Paris. They were laying siege to Rennes as well. This latest act of aggression against France and England persuaded the Pope to excommunicate Milan again. With their latest defeat at Toulouse and their excommunication, this was an ideal time to strike and Milan and stop them before they dominate all of Western Europe.

Rodrigo had been waiting for just such an opportunity. Unlike his predecessor, Rodrigo did not shun the more nefarious methods of war. Indeed it seemed even before Alfonso's body was cold that Rodrigo began training a pair of assassins. They had been practicing on some rebel commanders who made the mistake of camping near Toledo. Year after year they would practice their deadly art on the rebels and their skills began to grow. One of the assassins fell during this training, but the other, Bernardo the Killer, had grown his skills as far as they could go. All he was waiting for was the signal from Rodrigo to begin employing his deadly art. Milan's declaration of war provided just such an opportunity.


"Bernardo, the time has come for you to let loose your full fury on Milan."
"Did you have a particular target in mind?"
"Yes. All of them. Target every of of their generals and take them out before our armies arrive in their territory. If you encounter a particularly tough target like their king or faction heir, bypass them for now. We need you alive to kill more of their generals and can't risk losing you on a risky target."
"As you command my liege. Milan's generals will make excellent additions to my collection."

Bernardo's "collection" was something that was not spoken of in polite company. He collects personal trophies from his victims. He cuts off the left index finger of each target he has slain. Up until now his collection only included rebel fingers. Now Milan had the honor of joining as well.

We marched both of our northern armies against Milan. One laid siege to Bordeaux and one went north to Angers. Bordeaux's light garrison fell easily, but Milan managed to intercept our Angers army with one of their armies. Bernardo managed to kill the general of this army. Without leadership, their army's moral quickly began to falter and their army was destroyed. Angers then fell to our forces, and the English defeated the Milan army laying siege to Rennes. We began training a third northern army while continuing to battle Milanese counter attacks. Their attempts to wrest our conquests from our hands were unsuccessful. Checked in the west and north, Milan decided to hit Toulouse again. This time they managed to take the city from the French after a fierce battle. Meanwhile, the Pope had grown tired of England's disrespectful attitude and soon they joined Milan in excommunication. The Pope encouraged us to march on England as well so we laid siege to Rennes and took the city for ourselves. Our third army was about to lay siege to Toulouse when tragedy struck. The Pope died.

This was most unfortunate timing. We had just started a war with two of the Pope's most disrespectful enemies and now the new Pope says "all is forgiven". Milan and England were brought back into the fold. He then delivers an ultimatum to us: "Make peace with Milan or be excommunicated yourself." We could not believe the impudence of this little man. We had lost hundreds of lives battling for the honor of his predecessor and now he would have us excommunicated. For not ending a war Milan started no less! Still, we did not wish to upset his holiness, so we sent out peace feelers to Milan. They were most insufferable in their demands. They wanted twenty thousand gold pieces to end the war, a war they were losing! Rodrigo would sooner tear off his own arm then strengthen the Milanese by giving them twenty thousand gold, so he told the Milanese king to go procreate with himself. We then marched the third army on Toulouse and took the city. We had already burned several years off of the Pope's ultimatum, and it looked like we might be excommunicated soon. Fortunately, even this impudent little pope soon saw Milan for what they really were, and excommunicated them again. He then withdrew his ultimatum to us and we were free to continue our war with Milan. A few years later, England was excommunicated as well and we were back in the good graces of the Pope.
Our African army took Tunis and Tripoli and wiped out the last of the Moors as well. All was right with the world.


Poland had got itself involved in a multi-front war. They were facing Denmark in the west and Hungary in the south. Hungary itself was fighting two other enemies, Venice and Byzantine, and eventually bowed out and sued for peace with Poland. Russia was quick to step in and declare war on Poland however. These two front wars proved too much for Poland and they were eliminated as a faction. This was not welcome news to us as it meant the powerful Danish faction now had no enemy to fight. They had destroyed Poland and made the Holy Roman Empire their vassals. Perhaps they will come to the aid of their vassals in their war with Venice? Or perhaps they will declare war on Russia? Let us pray they do no declare war on us, for we already have our hands full with Milan and England. Rodrigo was contemplating making an alliance with the Danes. The Pope's excommunication of them put an end to that thought however. Our next move would have to be against England, and their great fotress city of Caen.

[Czar Alexsandr]

Peasants? The guys with the pitchforks that are completly plauge ridden cannon fodder?

Lol! That's great! It's so hillarious! And the map shows that you have taken a pretty good portion of map. Lol. I'd bet some Medival rulers would see this and think... why didn't I just send meat after the enemy? I coulda saved so much money! Lol. Excellent!