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  1. #1
    Nascent Veteran Member Tiberius of the Drake's Avatar
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    Default Red Shirts-Crimean War

    This is a little story i came up with a while ago but never got to making another entry. I hope to do so. I would love any feedback.

    ****************************************************************


    Foreword


    Thats it his life was over. He had journeyed, fought and lost, he was dead and gone. That reason he decided to don a red shirt ill never know. What I do know is that I must tell his story, I must show to the world that we , as Italians, are united, we are a nation and above all we are not Austrian.

    *************


    September 20th, 1854

    Jon knew one thing. That was that he was damn good fighter. The thing he didn't know was why he was in the British army when he was Prussian. His mother had insisted on it, to the protest of his father. He was a Prusso-British mix and his mess mates didn't approve. They called him a "German Bastard" and a "whore-son". This got him into trouble when he responded violently. In unrelated incidents, he lost both half his rations and half his ammo to spoilage in one day. This colorful montage of events earned Jon 40 lashes at the triangle. This changed little in Jon's world. Even though his mates hated him, they also respected him. They all knew that without a doubt he could beat them in soldiering or drinking. He was a born soldier and everyone knew it. Snapped out of his thinking he heard,

    "They say ... that we attack the Russians today," the young private said. The poor Irish urchin. He would be dead in the first volley.

    "Thats right Meargh, and your going to stick that bayonet into the bastard's belly. And for God's sake you better or you'll wish the devil would take you." The Sergeant said in his usual rant. Jon mindlessly watched the Rifles march buy in their green uniforms and their tall, undisturbed Shakos. He envied them. They were the elite, the bane of the Napoleon. He wished he could get a transfer. There he would be able to get out of the hell hole of the 50th.

    "Private! What the hell are you dreaming about? That whore of a mother that you have!?

    Jon almost slugged the Sergeant but resisted the urge. He hated that cock-eyed bastard and the same was true of all the men. This Sergeant, Mathias Cooper, was the son of preacher in Somerset who got a little too friendly with his neighbor's daughter. The two were married six months later and three months after that there was a "miracle baby". The couple's marriage, if it can be called that, ended a year later when the daughter's original courter caught up with them and to put it nicely, the preacher had a slight problem with his pride soon after. He was never able to produce another child. His son had as many problems as his father. In some cruel twist of fate, the boy lived to 18. He soon ran into some trouble with the law, and his choices were the army or the "Gallows Jig". He chose the former. Somehow, he managed to survive twenty years in the army.

    "Alright Boys!, were attacking those Russian sons of whores. If anyone so much as thinks of running, I'll slice out your guts myself."

    "Where we at this time Searge?", a nameless voice called out.

    "Why hell does it matter? We get to kill Russians!"

    This was received with a nervous ripple of laughter from the raw recruits. These recruits were basically cannon fodder. If somehow they managed to survive past the first volley, then there was the issue of the emotional downfall when you first realize that not everyone survived. But that is why the Veterans are there. They make up for the lost innocence of the recruits. They fight like demons as they know the reality that every moment, or every shot, could be their last.

    "Attention! There's an officer among us," this order made the men immediately snap to their senses, Jon included. As Lieutenant Jameson stepped forward, the men knew he had news of the fighting ahead.

    "As I speak, this great allied army is preparing to attack the Russians. We are going to be assaulting a place near a river called the Alma. Here is the tough part, Those bastards are entrenched, on the heights no less."

    Jon was distraught at this thought. This meant an almost suicidal charge, across a river, up a hill and then face a lot of disgruntled Russians who were entrenched at the end of it all. The Lieutenant continued.

    "But luckily we got those Green Dandies softening them up for us," this last comment about riflemen was received with ripples of laughter. 'You have one advantage over your Russian counter parts. You are British, professionally trained soldiers. Most of the Russians are untrained conscripts that were taken directly from their miserable lives in their miserable country. They may have the heights but they don't have the training."

    Jon knew this was an optimistic view. Thousands would die, and the Lieutenant knew it. As the Lieutenant finished his speech, Jon heard the first impact of cannon-balls in water.
    "Something can be done, by careful analysis, to sort out truth from propaganda and legend. But this is where the real difficulties begin, since each student inevitably selects, constitutes criteria, according to his own unconscious assumptions, social, ethical or political. Moral conditioning, in the widest sense, plays a far greater part in the matter than most people- especially the historians themselves-ever realize."
    -Peter Green

  2. #2
    Nascent Veteran Member Tiberius of the Drake's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Shirts-Crimean War

    Dont worry this will tie in later

    September 20th,1854
    some where In Austrian Venetia

    Jauco was uncomfortable, lost and worst of all unarmed. His patrol leaders ignorance of geography had left them wandering into a swamp, in an area of a Italian insurgency, and worst of all bug infested. He knew that even as conscript he would receive no quarter. As he had tramped through the horrible bog, the incompetent Richter von Shapt had tripped into him and forced him to drop his musket, which promptly ruined its load. But, being an officer, Richter claimed that it was Jauco's fault and the commanding officer, just as incompetent, believed him and his punishment was to be unarmed, despite the fact that Jauco was the best shot in the company.

    There was a loud report and Jauco was splattered with what he figured to be the blood of the man in front of him.

    " GET T...", the commander went down. Jauco grabbed the nearest musket, praying silently that it's load had not been spoiled.

    "In nomine Patri, et Fili, et Spiriti Sancti...," he slowly pulled the trigger. The area in front of him was immediately hidden in a puff of sulfurous smoke. The cry of pain confirmed that the ball had found it's mark. He quickly reached for the cartridge, swearing softly as he remembered that Richter had confiscated it. He was soon surrounded by nameless faces of about twenty men.

    " You killed one of my men," one of the stockier men said," you now have two options. You can die now or you can die later."

    Jauco reacted quickly, snatching a short blade from the belt of one of the men encircling him. He made a quick jab, slashing the belt that held his adversary's rifle to his shoulder.

    " I guess you choose to die now," spitting out the words as he drew his menacing blade. The men widened the circle and allowed the two more room. The man was fast and Jauco was not able to react in time as the man slashed across his thigh. But Juaco was smarter. Falling down in a exaggerated fashion, clutching his thigh, he lured his opponent into his trap.

    The man cried out, " Is this the great Austrian army?! they can't even field men who can take wounds!"

    The insurgents celebration and cheers were cut off as soon as they realized what Jauco had done. The stocky man was staring as his chest as he notice the blade sticking deep into his chest.

    Jauco spit in his face and said, "Im not Austrian you bastard, Im Italian just like you. Im only hear because i was forced." He kicked the man in the crotch for good measure and the body crumpled to the ground. The men around him were stunned.

    Jauco shouted," Do you not understand?! This death was unnecessary. Im Italian, like you. I hate the Austrians just as much as you do. I want to fight them but instead Im forced to fight foe theses oppressors or my family dies. So if you want to kill me do it now."

    Not one man moved. Then the tallest man stepped forward.

    " You just killed my lieutenant and one of my shooters . I think you owe me a name"

    Jauco replied, "Why should I give you mine before you give me yours?"

    "Franco de Milano. Yours?"

    "Jauco. Just Jauco."

    Franco stepped over and slapped him on the back.

    "Welcome to the great fight".
    "Something can be done, by careful analysis, to sort out truth from propaganda and legend. But this is where the real difficulties begin, since each student inevitably selects, constitutes criteria, according to his own unconscious assumptions, social, ethical or political. Moral conditioning, in the widest sense, plays a far greater part in the matter than most people- especially the historians themselves-ever realize."
    -Peter Green

  3. #3
    Nascent Veteran Member Tiberius of the Drake's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Shirts-Crimean War

    any one got any replies?
    "Something can be done, by careful analysis, to sort out truth from propaganda and legend. But this is where the real difficulties begin, since each student inevitably selects, constitutes criteria, according to his own unconscious assumptions, social, ethical or political. Moral conditioning, in the widest sense, plays a far greater part in the matter than most people- especially the historians themselves-ever realize."
    -Peter Green

  4. #4

    Default Re: Red Shirts-Crimean War

    its intresting and i like the characters. I think if either explained why jacuo is a God among soldiers that would help but it is good
    Drink Tea

    Currently Reading: Nikolai Gogol's dead souls

  5. #5
    Arrogant Ashigaru Moderator Ludens's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Re: Red Shirts-Crimean War

    Nice job. Please continue .
    Looking for a good read? Visit the Library!

  6. #6
    Still warlusting... Member Warluster's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Shirts-Crimean War

    Very good, its got style, and it keeps you hooked on.

  7. #7
    The Abominable Senior Member Hexxagon Champion Monk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Shirts-Crimean War

    Quote Originally Posted by Ludens
    Nice job. Please continue .
    Seconded.

  8. #8
    Arrogant Ashigaru Moderator Ludens's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Re: Red Shirts-Crimean War

    Looking for a good read? Visit the Library!

  9. #9
    Nascent Veteran Member Tiberius of the Drake's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Shirts-Crimean War

    September 21th, 1854
    Alma River

    Meargh had seen the entire chain of events unfold before his eyes. Two seperate shots in quick sucession. The only problem was that both shots came from British guns. One had taken out the color bearer and the second, butchered shot had taken out the Lietenant. Meargh hadn't seen the first shooter, but there wasn't a doubt in his mind from whose gun the second shot had come from. It was Mattias Cooper who had killed Lieutenant Jameson.And the other thing that was troubling him was what ahppened to Jon. He was the one who recovered him and the only mark on him was the imprint of the Royal armory on the back of his head. He assumed it meant that Jon had been slammed over the head with the but of a rifle or musket. The only problem is that there was no way that anyone else was going to believe him. He was just a new recruit. In fact, it was a miracle that he had survived. He was literally pulled of the streets of Waterford and promised,"14 schillings on the drum," if he signed up. He did. As he was thinking about his life and the situation,a voice rang out.

    "What's the matter Meargh? Still drying your pants?"

    It was O'Matly. Devon O'Matly. Drake had known him since they both had grown up together in Ireland. The only difference is that Devon had been in the army for two years longer and had become a corporal through his actions.

    "No.Im just looking for a Brit to kill!!." Silence fell about all the troops around them. It seemed that the whole camp became quiet. Then, both at the same time, they started to laugh.

    "Devon..," Meargh began.

    "Corporal Devon," he added with a smirk.

    "Corporal Devon. I need to talk to you in private."

    "Sure. Anything you need."

    And with that they headed off in the direction of the armory.
    "Something can be done, by careful analysis, to sort out truth from propaganda and legend. But this is where the real difficulties begin, since each student inevitably selects, constitutes criteria, according to his own unconscious assumptions, social, ethical or political. Moral conditioning, in the widest sense, plays a far greater part in the matter than most people- especially the historians themselves-ever realize."
    -Peter Green

  10. #10
    Arrogant Ashigaru Moderator Ludens's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Re: Red Shirts-Crimean War

    I am glad you are continuing this. However, I am afraid the first paragraph of your latests installment is rather confusing. For example, I didn't realize who Meargh was until I looked up his name: you've only mentioned him once before. Is Meargh the same as Drake? The sequence of events you describe also wasn't immediately clear to me and there is a couple of obvious spelling errors. This kind of errors can be avoided by not posting your work immediately, but waiting a day and rereading it. This way you can find the errors you may have overlooked previously.

    Good luck with the next installment .
    Looking for a good read? Visit the Library!

  11. #11
    Nascent Veteran Member Tiberius of the Drake's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Shirts-Crimean War

    *slaps head* doh got stories confused. Meargh IS supposed to be Drake but i forgot that i only called him Meargh in this story. I use his name for some other stories and its the name of a character in a story I have to write for school. Thanks for the advice though. Spelling was just me being stupid and forgetting to proofread or use spell check. Thanks Ludens.

    Also I originally wrote this installment before i added Jauco's story way back when I came up with the idea. It was supposed to be right after Jon going down installment. Srry about confusion.
    Last edited by Tiberius of the Drake; 05-21-2007 at 20:44.
    "Something can be done, by careful analysis, to sort out truth from propaganda and legend. But this is where the real difficulties begin, since each student inevitably selects, constitutes criteria, according to his own unconscious assumptions, social, ethical or political. Moral conditioning, in the widest sense, plays a far greater part in the matter than most people- especially the historians themselves-ever realize."
    -Peter Green

  12. #12
    Nascent Veteran Member Tiberius of the Drake's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Shirts-Crimean War

    September 21st, 1854
    Base of Italian Alps

    The shot hit it's mark, or at least it should have. Franco had played a clever trick. Jauco had picked up on the trick almost immediately. His father had been a great hunter and the rifle he was given was an old flintlock model, like the ones his father used. Not one of the fancy new percussion models but an old Flint and steel model. This is where Franco's trick had unravelled. Jauco had studied and learned well the art of hunting and appreciated the fast disappearing Flintlock. And because he knew how to use a Flintlock, he consequently knew how to handle loose powder. Through this he had learned and mastered the feel of good powder and bad powder. The powder he had received was bad. All the powder did was flash and make the customary sound, but the ball did not go down range. Jauco guessed that the powder had been soaked and then let dry. Clearly Jauco wasn't the first man to be given this test. And the reasons for why Franco gave him a Flintlock, Jauco did not know.But none the less, Jauco would have been happy if it was a real load. He hated that man like God does a blasphemer. Then Jauco chuckled to himself as he noticed that Richter had pissed himself.

    He turned to Franco," Clever trick my friend. But you forgot to consider that ny father was a Flintlock hunter."

    "Very good. You passed the test. Now you may bathe in my knowledge of this war and of Italy. She will be united."

    Now, Jauco was no willing collaborator but he somehow doubted this last statement could ever be possible.

    "And who exactly will do this? You?"

    "No my friend. The Kingdom of Sardinia."
    "Something can be done, by careful analysis, to sort out truth from propaganda and legend. But this is where the real difficulties begin, since each student inevitably selects, constitutes criteria, according to his own unconscious assumptions, social, ethical or political. Moral conditioning, in the widest sense, plays a far greater part in the matter than most people- especially the historians themselves-ever realize."
    -Peter Green

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