"We all know it's brutal up there at the front, especially those of us at the rear" Frank Burns

"I've got a soft spot for Klinger. He looks a little like my son, and he dresses a lot like my wife." Colonel Potter

"I'm sick of hearing about the wounded. What about all the thousands of wonderful guys who are fighting this war without any of the credit or the glory that always goes to those lucky few who just happen to get shot." Frank Burns

"Know this. You can cut me off from the civilized world. You can incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates. You can torture me with your thrice daily swill, but you cannot break the spirit of a Winchester. My voice shall be heard from this wilderness and I shall be delivered from this fetid and festering sewer." Major Winchester


The best is one with Klinger and colonel Blake imo, but I don't remember which episode it's in.
It something like this:
Klinger comes in with a letter, saying that his mother is dieing, and wants colonel Blake to let him go home because of that.
Blake opens a drawer, and takes a bunch of papers out of it and starts reading:
"sister pregnant, father dieing"
"mother pregnant, sister dieing"
"mother and father dieing"
"brother dieing, sister pregnant"
etc
"ah, and here's a good one: half the family dieing, the other half pregnant"