Fundamentalist immigration

[Banquo's Ghost]

This is both a treasure trove of wince-worthy moments and a golden opportunity for Gregoshi to pull a thread of puns out of his...imagination.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Official pulled 'very hard'

By Chris Williams
Published Monday 5th February 2007 15:21 GMT

US immigration officials insisted the sufferer of an anal infection remove a small piece of medical thread which was being used by doctors to treat the condition. The man required treatment under general anaesthetic as a result.

The man had an anal fistula, which is a painful channel that can develop deep into the anus, caused by infection or digestive conditions such as Crohn's disease. More details, if absolutely necessary, from NHS Direct here.

Arriving on holiday in New York in August last year, the unnamed 48-year-old was interrogated and searched by immigration officers, according to a letter appearing in medical journal The Lancet. The rectal examination discovered a device called a seton, which doctors in the UK had inserted into the fistula to help control long-term infection.

The seton was made of a blue braided medical suture material knotted and passed into the hole where the fistula surfaced. After one baffled immigration officer pulled "very hard" on the seton, the patient was given the choice by the baffled immigration officers of either getting on the next plane home, or submitting himself to a procedure to have it removed.

Happily, as The Lancet's correspondent notes, the curious immigration officer yanking the seton did not damage "the anal sphincter muscles encircled by it".
The seton was duly removed by an airport doctor, who claimed to have no idea what it was. The man now requires treatment under general anaesthetic to have a replacement inserted.

The letter writer concludes by advising seton patients to carry a letter from their doctor when travelling "to the USA or any other country where they are likely to be searched in this manner".

Read the wince-inducing letter here (free registration required).

Everyone interested in human rights should not take this sitting down.

[Fragony]

They were lucky, could have been a bomb

[ezrider]

Official pulled 'very hard'

Ha!

They were lucky, could have been a bomb

Or A modified version of the "Pull my finger" joke.
Imagine the poor man bent over a table with a customs offical tugging on a the string, "Heave!!", he cried and boy did he cry! hahaha

[Xiahou]

They were lucky, could have been a bomb

More likely, they were thinking it was attached to some little baggies stuffed with narcotics. I have to wonder what it was that made them search him though- I've been randomly selected for extra screening multiple times and it never once involved an anal exam.

I can't believe it wouldn't be obvious to anyone travelling internationally with such a condition to carry a doctor's note explaining it. Such a thing could easily get one mistaken for a drug mule. Personally, I would've taken the next plane back.

[Goofball]

More likely, they were thinking it was attached to some little baggies stuffed with narcotics. I have to wonder what it was that made them search him though- I've been randomly selected for extra screening multiple times and it never once involved an anal exam.

I can't believe it wouldn't be obvious to anyone travelling internationally with such a condition to carry a doctor's note explaining it. Such a thing could easily get one mistaken for a drug mule. Personally, I would've taken the next plane back.

It would never have occurred to me if I was in his situation.

That's good Dick Cheney thinking.

"If you're not a terrorist, you shouldn't mind getting shot in the face with a shotgun."

[Crazed Rabbit]

That's because all the drugs are smuggled out of BC, not into it, Goofball.

Canadian officials probably aren't as ... aware ... of the drug smuggling problem as their American counterparts.

Him getting such an exam is unusual - if there was reason for such a search, officials might have been more suspicious upon finding such a device.

*scurries away before Gregoshi arrives*

CR

[Gregoshi]

Why do you think we're called "yanks"?

[Gregoshi]

The immigration officials looked like jerks - they'll never hear the end of it from their co-workers. They're probably bummed about all the publicity. And the doctor, he should have consulted the Anals of Internal Medicine (or whatever is most proctical) before proceeding. Wonder if the doc charged his regular fees(es). Next time I'm sure he'll be more thorough in tying up all the loose ends. Hopefully, the poor man will be able to put this dreadful episode behind him.

It is appropriate that there is a thread about this story.

[Banquo's Ghost]

The immigration officials looked like jerks - they'll never hear the end of it from their co-workers. They're probably bummed about all the publicity. And the doctor, he should have consulted the Anals of Internal Medicine (or whatever is most proctical) before proceeding. Wonder if the doc charged his regular fees(es). Next time I'm sure he'll be more thorough in tying up all the loose ends. Hopefully, the poor man will be able to put this dreadful episode behind him.

It is appropriate that there is a thread about this story.

The Maestro. What cheek.

[Watchman]

...puns...hurt...

[Gregoshi]

...puns...hurt...

Sung to the tune: clicky

[Watchman]

...got a permit for that sense of humour son ? It's obviously a lethal weapon. And concealable too.

[Dâriûsh]

Indignity is the eternal price of freedom™.

[Gregoshi]

Wonders if the immigration officials were ripped when they examined the man.


Will the government launch a probe into this "in"cident?


Headline: Immigration caught with pants down.


They obviously didn't think the man's story had a thread of truth in it.


I've got diarrhea of one-liners, also known as the "puns".




Yes officer.

[Papewaio]

ROFL.

So what happens to a women with a string...

[Gregoshi]

You don't mess with them - period!

[Hosakawa Tito]

Greg is smokin'

Being in the prison business for 23+ years, I've had the dubious honor of conducting body cavity searches, fondly known as "nuts & butts" in officer speak. It's probably one of the least desirable jobs there can be in security, hence it usually falls to the most junior officers, seniority-wise. As Xiahou pointed out, that little string sticking out usually is attached to a balloon or condom filled with drugs, but I've seen all types of shanks too. And one time, a freshly suffocated gerbil.

We are trained not to touch, let alone yank, any objects within a subject's body cavity (common sense). One directs the person to remove the object themselves, or medical personnel is required to do the deed. Sounds to me like the airport should hire a new doctor, and the feds should train their officers & supervisors in proper strip-frisk & body cavity searches. Saves lots of paperwork,embarassment, and lawsuit $$$. This guy is going to tear them a new one with this lawsuit.

[Watchman]

Those guys get trained...? What's the world coming to ?

[Pannonian]

As Xiahou pointed out, that little string sticking out usually is attached to a balloon or condom filled with drugs, but I've seen all types of shanks too. And one time, a freshly suffocated gerbil.

Any frogs or sparrows?

[Gregoshi]

...hence it usually falls to the most junior officers, seniority-wise.

Ah, they pull rank. (that's a double!)

[Papewaio]

This guy is going to tear them a new one with this lawsuit.

Only fair, they've already torn him a new one.

[Watchman]

Eye for an eye ?

[Pannonian]

Eye for an eye ?

Only if he turns the other cheek.

[Watchman]

That could turn into a real slapfest.

[Tribesman]

Its the last time he is going to ask if anyone can pull strings to get him through immigration .

[Samurai Waki]

Thats a rough episode. Hopefully he hasn't gone through to much hemorraging.

2000 posts

[Hosakawa Tito]

Eye for an eye ?

Yes, brown eye for brown eye.

I suspect that over zealousness and failure to follow training are to blame. That and a quack of a doctor. Never did trust doctors much.

[Gregoshi]

Just when I sphinc-ter isn't any more puns to do, I find another.

[Banquo's Ghost]

Just when I sphinc-ter isn't any more puns to do, I find another.

You have destroyed your audience with such audacity, Greg. No, I would go farther and say you have rect'um.

[English assassin]

You don't mess with them - period!

Ah, they pull rank. (that's a double!)

Just when I sphinc-ter isn't any more puns to do, I find another.

So, gregoshi, if we need a pun in a hurry, can we colon you?

Ahem