From gay to “Completely Heterosexual” in just 3 weeks

[yesdachi]

Well it appears that the Reverend Ted Haggard has gone thru 3 weeks of intensive counseling and is now “Completely Heterosexual”. Incase you don’t remember, this is the guy that was the president of the NAE and Sr. pastor of the New Life Church, who was openly against gays and turned out to have had a romp in the hay with a "former" male prostitute.

So what do you think, can someone be gay then be “counseled” to be straight?

link to the story

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Haggard Now "Completely Heterosexual"
By Associated Press

DENVER - One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is "completely heterosexual."

Haggard also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday's edition.

"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

Ralph said the board spoke with people close to Haggard while investigating his claim that his only extramarital sexual contact happened with Mike Jones. The board found no evidence to the contrary.

"If we're going to be proved wrong, somebody else is going to come forward, and that usually happens really quickly," he said. "We're into this thing over 90 days and it hasn't happened."

[Goofball]

Well it appears that the Reverend Ted Haggard has gone thru 3 weeks of intensive counseling and is now “Completely Heterosexual”. Incase you don’t remember, this is the guy that was the president of the NAE and Sr. pastor of the New Life Church, who was openly against gays and turned out to have had a romp in the hay with a "former" male prostitute.

So what do you think, can someone be gay then be “counseled” to be straight?

link to the story

Of course they can. I myself was born a short, brown-eyed, black-haired, asian woman. After years of intense psychotherapy, I am now a 5'11", blue-eyed, blond-haired, white male.

[Crazed Rabbit]

He's got nothing on Jesse Jackson's three day 'retreat from the public eye'.

So what do you think, can someone be gay then be “counseled” to be straight?

Possibly. He is, of course, more biased to say it worked.

CR

[ajaxfetish]

And here I was hoping this guy would just accept the consequences of his actions and gracefully withdraw from the public eye. Guess my expectations were a bit too high. Well, at least now there's more potential for future entertaining scandal.

Ajax

[Beirut]

So what do you think, can someone be gay then be “counseled” to be straight?

I've counseled several women with great success.

I did have one failure, but it was group therapy, and well worth the effort.

[Lemur]

A more interesting question would be how well Haggard's claim is being received by its intended audience, the Christianist right. Not radical Catholics, mind you, but the more traditional protestant mega-church crowd.

I never knew that Beirut was really Austin Powers ...

[yesdachi]

I've counseled several women with great success.

I did have one failure, but it was group therapy, and well worth the effort.

I wasn’t talking about them making you… straight.

[Lemur]

Amusing/disturbing video of Haggard discussing how good sex is when you're an evangelical.

[Gregoshi]

And to think all this time the "cure" to being gay was spending 3 weeks with 4 priests. The fashion and interior design industries will be ruined.

[Watchman]

"Whips & Chains"
-Cults Across America game card

[Crazed Rabbit]

A more interesting question would be how well Haggard's claim is being received by its intended audience, the Christianist right. Not radical Catholics, mind you, but the more traditional protestant mega-church crowd.

I never knew that Beirut was really Austin Powers ...

Excuse me, but what the **** does that link have to do with the discussion, besides being from a biased and leftist organization, being exaggerated and more incorrect than not?

I wasn’t talking about them making you… straight.

I don't know if Beirut was either.

CR

[Papewaio]

After years of intense psychotherapy, I am now a 5'11", blue-eyed, blond-haired, white male.

I always thought you would be taller...

[Goofball]

I always thought you would be taller...

I want to be taller.

That's why I'm continuing with the therapy.

[Ronin]

of course he is....

one more week and he won´t be doing crystal meth anymore either....

[GoreBag]

Awesome!

[Navaros]

So what do you think, can someone be gay then be “counseled” to be straight?

Yes they can, however that did not happen in the fraud that is Haggard. Not a valid implication to attach this particular fraud case to a generalization.

[IrishArmenian]

Not possible, sexuality is based on the brain and cannot be changed unless someone was to get a new brain. Besides, with this guy's doctrine, he seems more like a brain donor.

[Husar]

he seems more like a brain donor.

Hey, that is very cruel of you to think.(judging from Lemur's video)

About the rest I agree with GoreBag.

[GoreBag]

About the rest I agree with GoreBag.

I was going to add that I hate his face, but I couldn't find an eloquent way to do it.

[Lemur]

Excuse me, but what the **** does that link have to do with the discussion, besides being from a biased and leftist organization, being exaggerated and more incorrect than not?

No likey the linky? Southern Poverty Law Center part of the Liberal Elite Conspiracy? Accusations of inaccuracy with no supporting data?

Dude, you are so heterosexual. Stop worrying.

[Samurai Waki]

Maybe the doctor told him to think about She-males while he was doing his wife.

He just has a face that screams Homosexual. I didn't think there was such a thing in existance. But between his weasely blue eyes, and his Horse Teeth Grin... all I can think about are Pretty Silk Handbags, and plad jumpsuits.

[Crazed Rabbit]

No likey the linky? Southern Poverty Law Center part of the Liberal Elite Conspiracy? Accusations of inaccuracy with no supporting data?

Dude, you are so heterosexual. Stop worrying.

Never said I was worried - twas you who brought that up, perhaps subconsiously giving away your fear?

And after the SPLC accused the minutemen of being hateful racists, I lost any respect I had for them.

Be interesting to see what he does with his life.

CR

[Quid]

Amusing/disturbing video of Haggard discussing how good sex is when you're an evangelical.

I have the feeling that if those men's wives were to be asked the same questions, the answers might just vary a tiny little bit, eh...

All speculation, of course...

Quid

[Tribesman]

And after the SPLC accused the minutemen of being hateful racists, I lost any respect I had for them.

Errrrrrr....don't you mean when they identified some members of that group as also belonging to two neo-nazi and white supremacist groups and also noted that they handed out those groups hate filled literature while they were being minutemen you lost any respect for them .

Now paint me pink and call me Haggard if my mind works in a strange way , but wouldn't it be more rational to lose respect for a group that contains racist scum rather than a group that identified racist scum inanother group .

[BDC]

How long until he becomes completely homosexual again (without therapy)?

1 week?

[English assassin]

What? Y'all presented with an honest to goodness miracle here, and you can't see it? Praise the Lord, he's been cured.

That is, if he was ever homosexual in the first place. The only evidence is that he had sex with a man. I say that "It was the acting-out situations where things took place." See? he was in an acting out situation, not having gay sex. Its all clear to me now.

Hallelulah

BTW has any other UK poster noticed the remarkable resemblance to the also-not-bisexual Michael Portillo?

[BDC]

What? Y'all presented with an honest to goodness miracle here, and you can't see it? Praise the Lord, he's been cured.

That is, if he was ever homosexual in the first place. The only evidence is that he had sex with a man. I say that "It was the acting-out situations where things took place." See? he was in an acting out situation, not having gay sex. Its all clear to me now.

Hallelulah

BTW has any other UK poster noticed the remarkable resemblance to the also-not-bisexual Michael Portillo?

Portillo meets Ace Ventura possibly? With some Bible thrown in.

[caravel]

BTW has any other UK poster noticed the remarkable resemblance to the also-not-bisexual Michael Portillo?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[Banquo's Ghost]

All I can think of whilst following this thread is the Rocky Horror Picture Show and the song:

"In just seven days, I can make you a maaaaaan".

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Dr. Frank-N-Furter
A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds
Will get sand in his face
When kicked to the ground
And soon in the gym
With a determined chin
The sweat from his pores
As he works for his cause
Will make him glisten
And gleam, and with massage
And just a little bit of steam
He'll be pink and quite clean
He'll be a strong man
Oh, honey!

Chorus
But the wrong man

Dr. Frank-N-Furter
He'll eat nutritious, high protein
And swallow raw eggs
Try to build up his shoulders
His chest, arms, and legs
Such an effort
If he only knew of my plan
In just seven days

Chorus
I can make you a man

Dr. Frank-N-Furter
He'll do press-ups and chin-ups
Do the snatch, clean, and jerk
He thinks dynamic tension
Must be hard work
Such strenuous living
I just don't understand
When in just seven days
Oh, baby
I can make you a man

[Samurai Waki]

Hmmm... Somehow I don't think Tim Curry would go for a person like him. He doesn't look innocent enough.