The Backroom Predefined Positions Thread

[Major Robert Dump]

*Abortion: should be mandatory without a childreaering permit

*Capital Punishment: the crime rate in our capital is very high, they need tougher laws, curfew and the 45th infantry. DC is an important place in our history.

*Drugs: no thanks, I'm drunk already. Unless you have a lae vetra (sp?) pill or five, I'd take some of those.

*Evolution: terrible movie, except that one part where the hot russian blonde showed her wonderful, cultural-barrier-breaking breasts.

*Gays pretty fruity, but Gay males do make great non-threatening male best friends for your hot, 22 year old girlfriend, and the lesbians make great friends for the guys! Yay for teh gay!

*Gun ControlI can control mine just fine

*ImmigrationImmigrants should be given preference if they are female, between the ages of 18-35 with over-35 being okay if they are hot, and under 18s being okay if their age simulation computer test shows that when they reach 18 they are, in fact, not a fatty. For example, the previously mentioned hot russian. To think that she had to illegally immigrate into this country and bare her goods for below market fair pay really upsets me and makes me want to masterbate less.

*Media ContentMy girlfriend made me delete the 100 gigs of "art" movies on my PC, other than that I read news sites with little or no television. In closing, I would like to say that media content is a good thing because nobody would consume media if it was empty.

*Military in General I think you meant to say Generals in the Military. Personally, I don't have a problem with what soldiers do in their off time, but I understand that Generals make some people uncomfortable and could hurt the overall efficiency of the team effort. I think a "don't ax don't tell" policy would be a good idea

*Prostitution I already have a job, and I wouldn't be any good at it anyway because I can only "perform" if I am dressed like a caveman and the woman makes elephant noises.

*Race and Racism The different races need to stop hating on one another. NASCAR, horses, walk-a-thons, special olympics WHO CARES STOP THE HATE!!!11
*Separation of Church and StateIf people want to cross state lines to go to church who really gives a %*&#%!!!

*The Rise of China and IndiaMMORPG gold farmers and inbound call centers are wise investments for the savvy investor.

*The War on TerrorGive me $10,000 and free Chong from federal prison or I'll behead myself right now

*Welfare Commonly mispronounced as "ware-fare" by the people recieivng it, welfare was built for failure, to ruin the lower class recieivng it by rewarding them for procreating, and to ruin the middle class paying for it by exempting them from like coverage while taxing them but giving all the welfare recipients their tax back. To think that someone can go to 7-11 and buy chips, a soda and a microwave hotdog (not microwaved yet, of course, because then it would count as "prepared") and pay for it with their warefare card is an insult to all the people standing behind them to buy a cup of coffee to drink on the way to work.

*Your religious beliefsI don't believe in anything, not even myself.