Results 1 to 25 of 25

Thread: News you don't need but may like

Hybrid View

Previous Post Previous Post   Next Post Next Post
  1. #1
    Senior Member Senior Member Fisherking's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    East of Augusta Vindelicorum
    Posts
    5,575

    Default News you don't need but may like

    Okay so it is a slow boring day. Maybe some of this will lighten the mood.



    If you are tired of life you may try to use this with your lady friends.

    German cancer researchers, writing in a January journal article, reported that any exercise helped ward off breast cancer in pre-menopausal women but that housework-type exercise worked for all women and was superior to job-based or leisure-based exercise. [Medical News Today, 12-29-06; Cancer Epidemiology Biomarkers & Prevention, January 2007]

    If someone is looking for a good wife?

    A female chimpanzee, Judy, escaped at the Little Rock (Ark.) Zoo in January and, as she moved about, was observed entering a bathroom, grabbing a brush, and cleaning a toilet. She also wrung out a sponge and cleaned off a refrigerator, according to an Associated Press report. [CBS News-AP, 1-17-07]
    She was obviously recaptured before she could do the ironing!

    And a bit of risk management….

    The fire alarm at the Sea Life Centre in Weymouth, England, sounded one night in December, attributed to a diet of brussels sprouts fed to a turtle. Marine biologist Sarah Leaney of the Centre explained that the turtle's resulting flatulence probably created bubbles that raised the water level enough to trigger the alarm. [Daily Record (Glasgow), 12- 27-06]

    And what would you do?

    OCONOMOWOC, Wis. (AP) - A Wisconsin man said he broke into an apartment with a cavalry sword because he thought he heard a woman being raped but the sound was from a pornographic movie his upstairs neighbour was watching.
    "Now I feel stupid," said James Van Iveren, who has been charged in the case. "This really is nothing, nothing but a mistake."
    A criminal complaint said the neighbour told police Van Iveren pounded on the door and kicked it open without warning Feb. 12, damaging the frame and lock.
    "Where is she?" Van Iveren demanded, thrusting the sword at the neighbour, the complaint said.
    "Where is she?"
    The neighbour told police Van Iveren became increasingly aggressive as he repeated the question, insisting he had heard a woman being raped. The complaint said, with the sword pointed at him, the neighbour led Van Iveren through the apartment, opening closet doors to prove he was alone.
    The neighbour later played for police the part of the DVD he believed Van Iveren heard downstairs.
    Van Iveren, 39, of Oconomowoc, was charged with criminal trespass, criminal damage and disorderly conduct, all while using a dangerous weapon, and is due in court March 5. Together, the misdemeanour counts carry a maximum sentence of 33 months in jail.
    Van Iveren said Tuesday he heard a woman "screaming for help," grabbed the sword, bounded up the stairs, kicked in the apartment door and confronted the man who lived there.
    "I intended to hold it behind my back and knock. But I froze and instead, what happened happened," he told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel newspaper.
    Contesting his neighbour's account, Van Iveren said he didn't look anywhere in the apartment except the front room and he never threatened the neighbour with the sword.
    "I had the sword extended. But that was all," he said.
    Van Iveren, who lives with his mother in the downstairs apartment, said he did not call police when he heard the noises because he does not have a telephone. He said he barely knew the upstairs tenant.
    Police seized Van Iveren's sword, which he said was a family heirloom.


    Education: that which reveals to the wise,
    and conceals from the stupid,
    the vast limits of their knowledge.
    Mark Twain

  2. #2
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2000
    Location
    Central Pennsylvania, USA
    Posts
    12,980

    Default Re: News you don't need but may like

    I think Judy the chimp was just trying to ward off breast cancer.

    Our local morning DJs were just talking about the Van Iveren story. I have to give the guy some style points. The cavalry sword gives the mis-adventure an over-the-top flair.
    This space intentionally left blank

  3. #3
    Nec Pluribus Impar Member SwordsMaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    3,519
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: News you don't need but may like

    I can't believe the guy is taken to court over that... He overreacted, but so what? No irreparable damage has been done. And he didn't even get to use the sword!
    Managing perceptions goes hand in hand with managing expectations - Masamune

    Pie is merely the power of the state intruding into the private lives of the working class. - Beirut

  4. #4
    L'Etranger Senior Member Banquo's Ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Hunting the Snark, a long way from Tipperary...
    Posts
    5,604

    Default Re: News you don't need but may like

    Quote Originally Posted by SwordsMaster
    I can't believe the guy is taken to court over that... He overreacted, but so what? No irreparable damage has been done. And he didn't even get to use the sword!
    Criminal damage and threatening with a sword? I'd say he has a case to answer.

    He's lucky he doesn't live in Texas - he'd have been shot down like a dog, so I am led to understand.
    "If there is a sin against life, it consists not so much in despairing as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this one."
    Albert Camus "Noces"

  5. #5
    Nec Pluribus Impar Member SwordsMaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    3,519
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: News you don't need but may like

    But if he went to prison over intending to protect a woman, wouldn't that be sad?

    What should he have done?

    Knock on the door quietly, and when answered go "Excuse me, do you happen to be raping someone this very moment? If so, would it be too much to ask to keep it down? Otherwise I will be forced to call the authorities that will take half an hour to get here. Good day"
    Last edited by SwordsMaster; 02-22-2007 at 14:49.
    Managing perceptions goes hand in hand with managing expectations - Masamune

    Pie is merely the power of the state intruding into the private lives of the working class. - Beirut

  6. #6
    Master of Few Words Senior Member KukriKhan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    10,415

    Default Re: News you don't need but may like

    Quote Originally Posted by Banquo's Ghost
    Criminal damage and threatening with a sword? I'd say he has a case to answer.

    He's lucky he doesn't live in Texas - he'd have been shot down like a dog, so I am led to understand.
    Only if he were also homeless, sans green card, and trying to vote.
    Be well. Do good. Keep in touch.

  7. #7
    Hand Bacon Member ShadeHonestus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    1,167

    Default Re: News you don't need but may like

    Quote Originally Posted by KukriKhan
    Only if he were also homeless, sans green card, and trying to vote.
    Depending on the vote and if he's trafficking cocaine.
    "There is a true glory and a true honor; the glory in duty done and the honor in the integrity of principle."

    "The truth is this; the march of Providence so long, that of the individual so brief, that we often only see the ebb of the advancing wave. It is history which teaches us to hope."

  8. #8
    Senior Member Senior Member econ21's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    9,651

    Default Re: News you don't need but may like

    Quote Originally Posted by SwordsMaster
    I can't believe the guy is taken to court over that... He overreacted, but so what? No irreparable damage has been done. And he didn't even get to use the sword!
    I agree with you and Gregoshi - I hope the jury let's the guy off. Dashing to a lady in peril with sword drawn sounds rather noble.

    A particular contrast to the grubby fellow watching porn at full volume who is pressing charges.

  9. #9
    Member Member TB666's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Malmö, Sweden
    Posts
    1,519

    Default Sv: Re: News you don't need but may like

    Quote Originally Posted by econ21
    A particular contrast to the grubby fellow watching porn at full volume who is pressing charges.
    Well I would be slightly crossed too if a guy busted my door and threatened me with a sword in a porno session .
    Still it was a noble act I suppose and hope the jury clears him

  10. #10
    TexMec Senior Member Louis VI the Fat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Saint Antoine
    Posts
    9,935

    Default Re: News you don't need but may like

    That guy acted in good faith, and should be hailed.

    As to his neighbour, sure it sucks having a guy with a drawn sword smash in your front door. But I don't think I would have the cheek to press charges if I were caught watching smutty pron on sunday morning, with a volume so loud my neighbours could hear word by word what the movie is about.

    Plus this guy should be released out of sheer respect for his chivalry and style. I mean, barging in to rescue a dame in distress with a historical sword!?

    Somebody please add this guy to a M:TW mod!
    Charge: 8
    Attack: 4
    Defense: 0
    Armour: 0
    Morale: 8
    And full valour bonusses.
    Last edited by Louis VI the Fat; 02-22-2007 at 16:10.
    Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
    Texan by birth, woodpecker by the grace of God
    I would be the voice of your conscience if you had one - Brenus
    Bt why woulf we uy lsn'y Staraft - Fragony
    Not everything
    blue and underlined is a link


  11. #11
    Standing Up For Rationality Senior Member Ronin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Lisbon,Portugal
    Posts
    4,952

    Default Re: News you don't need but may like

    Quote Originally Posted by luigi VI di Fatlington
    But I don't think I would have the cheek to press charges if I were caught watching smutty pron on sunday morning,
    what other kind is there?
    If your porn isn´t smutty then someone along the production line isn´t doing their job properly
    "If given the choice to be the shepherd or the sheep... be the wolf"
    -Josh Homme
    "That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!"
    - Calvin

  12. #12
    Hope guides me Senior Member Hosakawa Tito's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2000
    Location
    Western New Yuck
    Posts
    7,914

    Default Re: News you don't need but may like

    That guy acted in good faith, and should be hailed.
    That's the key right there. The dummy who couldn't turn the sound down or wear headphones so as not to disturb his neighbors is just embarrassed and acting like a jerk. Counter sue for disturbing the peace and ask the authorities to seach his movie collection for kiddie porn.
    "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." *Jim Elliot*

  13. #13

    Default AW: News you don't need but may like

    My favourite news of the day:
    A German mine hunting craft beached near Norway.

    For pictures look here:
    http://www.express.de/servlet/Satell...=1171013966827

    Seems like the navigator is to blame

    I found this totally hilarious because 9 years ago, when I was a conscript, I was serving as deputy navigator on a boat of the same type.

    Seems like the navy has been lowering her standards since I left.

  14. #14
    Standing Up For Rationality Senior Member Ronin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Lisbon,Portugal
    Posts
    4,952

    Default Re: News you don't need but may like

    "command,conn - be advised dept under keel is....zero"
    "If given the choice to be the shepherd or the sheep... be the wolf"
    -Josh Homme
    "That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!"
    - Calvin

  15. #15

    Default Re: News you don't need but may like

    Van Iveren, who lives with his mother in the downstairs apartment, said he did not call police when he heard the noises because he does not have a telephone. He said he barely knew the upstairs tenant.
    Lives with his mother, doesn't have a phone, busts in the neighbour's door with a cavalry sword to stop the man mid-rape. I'm willing to bet money that this guy loves to LARP.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO