When trading retinue characters you need to be aware that both the generals involved in the trade have to be in the same stack. So, you must move them to meet each other first. That could be the reason for your problem, alternatively it might be because the person you are trying to give the trait too already has one occupying that slot. You can't have two retinue characters occupying the same trait slot, so you might need to dump the one you don't want on a third character to free up the space.
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