News of the Weird

[Lemur]

Big stories I somehow missed in 2008(I'm sure at least one of these will be reposts, but with any luck quantity will overcome quality):

Greatest Police Car Escape Ever Made by Gay Porn Star

Police arrested Taleon for possessing about a half-ounce of crack cocaine and a loaded .25-caliber automatic handgun. While handcuffed in the back of the moving car, Taleon smashed out the rear window by head-butting it, police said. He then dove through the window and its steel frame, causing $1,800 in damage, Kunkel said. After landing on his face, Taleon rose to his feet and, while still handcuffed, fled on foot and into a nearby pond, police said. “He swam across like Flipper, taunting the officers shouting, ‘You’ll never catch me,’ ” Kunkel said.

Man Has Sex With 1,000 Cars

Smith, a self-professed "romantic," writes poems about his cars, and says he first had sex with a car at the age of 15. Since then, he says he's only been attracted to autos, not humans. Smith has several other cars besides Vanilla -- including a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger -- but he says "his most intense sexual experience was 'making love' to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf."

Fake Cop Arrested for Pulling Over Real Cop

Police say a Connecticut man playing police officer picked the wrong person to pull over. Israel Gomez was arrested Tuesday after pulling over an off-duty Hartford police lieutenant. Police say 20-year-old Gomez turned on flashing lights and used a siren and loudspeaker to coax police Lt. Ronald Bair off the road.

Anti-Emo Riots Break Out in Mexico

A series of attacks on dyed-hair, eye-makeup-wearing emo kids began in early March when several hundred people went on an emo-beating rampage in Querétaro, a town of 1.5 million about 160 miles north of Mexico City. The next week, shaggy-haired emo teenagers were harassed again by punks and rockabillys in the capital, prompting police protection and a segment on the TV news. Most recently, a Mexican newspaper reported that metal heads and gangsters have warned Tijuana's emo kids to stay away from the town's fair next month.

Man Charged for Having Sex with Patio Table

Police in Ohio say that a married father of three has confessed to repeatedly having sex with his patio picnic table. Art Price, Jr., 40, has been charged with four counts of public indecency after a neighbor videotaped him getting all nasty with the umbrella hole in the middle of his plastic picnic table. Apparently preferring the table's legs in the air, Price reportedly flipped the table over before forcing himself inside of it.

British Farmer Conceals Illegal Castle Behind Giant Hay Bales

Robert Fidler kept something much bigger concealed among the piles of straw down on his farm... a castle. Over the course of two years, he managed to secretly -- and unlawfully -- build the imposing mock Tudor structure in one of his fields, shielded behind a 40ft stack of hay bales covered by a huge tarpaulins. Once it was finished, he and his family moved in and lived there for four years before finally revealing the development -- complete with battlements and cannons -- in August 2006.

[Lemur]

Surgeon Finds Foot in Baby's Brain. Aieeee!

Dr Paul Grabb, a paediatric neurosurgeon, said he operated on Sam Esquibel at Memorial Hospital for Children, Colorado Springs, after an MRI scan showed a microscopic tumour on the newborn's brain. Sam was three days old and otherwise healthy.

Grabb said that while removing the growth he discovered it contained a nearly perfect foot and the formation of another foot, a hand and a thigh.

"It looked like the breach delivery of a baby coming out of the brain," Grabb said. "To find a perfectly formed structure (like this) is extremely unique, unusual, borderline unheard of."

[Crazed Rabbit]

Anti-Emo Riots Break Out in Mexico

A series of attacks on dyed-hair, eye-makeup-wearing emo kids began in early March when several hundred people went on an emo-beating rampage in Querétaro, a town of 1.5 million about 160 miles north of Mexico City. The next week, shaggy-haired emo teenagers were harassed again by punks and rockabillys in the capital, prompting police protection and a segment on the TV news. Most recently, a Mexican newspaper reported that metal heads and gangsters have warned Tijuana's emo kids to stay away from the town's fair next month.

Huh. That's weird. I really like the photo at the top of the page of the emos 'demonstrating' - standing still and looking sullen, just like at their concerts. And then the guys looking like old school rock n rollers in the video, with the greased hair and everything. How fascinating!
CR

[InsaneApache]

I used to think that the UK was going potty, now I know we are....

“I showed them my policeclown identity card, which had my picture next to the my credentials as a member of the Criminal Insane Department, but I don’t think that really helped!

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle5380552.ece

[Papewaio]

Weird Internal News WIN: The News of the Weird thread is growing twice as fast as the Babe thread.

[Hosakawa Tito]

I used to think that the UK was going potty, now I know we are....





http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle5380552.ece

Where's Monty Python when you need them.
Strip searching clowns...a rookie cop's worst nightmare.

Weird Internal News WIN: The News of the Weird thread is growing twice as fast as the Babe thread.

A Babe is just a woman, but a cigar is a good smoke. what am i trying to say?

[Lemur]

Babes are great, but weird news is forever.

Man claims the ecstasy he was busted carrying was for his dog.

A NORTHERN Territory businessman who pleaded not guilty to possessing more than 70 ecstasy tablets told Darwin Magistrates Court he thought they were birth control pills for his dog.

Steven James Dwyer, 48, pleaded guilty to possessing a traffickable amount of methamphetamine, but contested the charge of possessing an amount of ecstasy tablets, saying he thought the pills would stop his pet shar-peis from breeding [...]

Dwyer told the court the ecstasy tablets - MDMA - had come into his hands when he was outside a Katherine laundromat, after he met a man with a female shar-pei dog.

"We chatted about them - where he got them ... we kept talking about dogs and how he bred her," Dwyer said.

"And then we talked about his female coming on heat."

Dwyer told the court the man had told him he used birth control tablets on the dogs, but he had since had his own dog desexed and had no use for the tablets he had in his car.

"I knew she was due to come on heat, I thought, 'That'll be very handy for her'," he said, claiming no money had changed hands.

[Lemur]

[InsaneApache]

What a dickhead!

[Boyar Son]

wtf?? killed by a condom DAMN..

[Louis VI the Fat]

Somebody please tell him that one doesn't need to put on a condom for giving head.

[naut]

Birth control for his dog. Hehehe. Sure.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Wrong head you idiot, though at least he "went down" laughing. Watch the condom company get sued for not posting explicit instructions on the package. man I shoulda been a tort lawyer.

[Gregoshi]

Must have been prophylactose intolerant.

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Wrong head you idiot, though at least he "went down" laughing. Watch the condom company get sued for not posting explicit instructions on the package. man I shoulda been a tort lawyer.

Do not put on head? Doesn't that defeat the purpose?

[Vladimir]

Not so much weird but it has international flair!

The only thing I despise more than a Frenchman someone pretending to be one.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[Banquo's Ghost]

Not so much weird but it has international flair!

The only thing I despise more than a Frenchman someone pretending to be one.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Sadly, Lemur's Disease is an international problem.

[Vladimir]

Indeed.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Actor David Spade buys 40 expensive modern rifles for the Phoenix Police.



CR

[Vladimir]

Actor David Spade buys 40 expensive modern rifles for the Phoenix Police.



CR

The AR-15 rifles the department is seeking cost over $2,000 each; Spade's gift will allow the purchase of more than 40 of the guns.

That's insane. The cops can't fight the gangs because they piss all their money away.

And "modern" rifles?!

[Crazed Rabbit]

And "modern" rifles?!

I just wanted to indicate they're not hunting rifles or whatever.

CR

[Lemur]

Cocaine turns bees into liars

According to the boffins, cocaine turns good bees - productive members of the hive - into untrustworthy scumbags. The cocaine-addled insects would routinely exaggerate the quality of sugar or pollen they had found, lying to their fellow hive members through the medium of "waggle dancing", the standard method of describing one's work among bees.

But the bees' dance remained accurate in terms of where the food was, according to Robinson. The insect drug-slaves maintained a certain level of dignity.

"It's not like they're gyrating wildly on the dance floor out of control," he said. "This is a patterned response. It gives distance information, location information. That information is intact."

[drone]

But the bees' dance remained accurate in terms of where the food was, according to Robinson. The insect drug-slaves maintained a certain level of dignity.

"It's not like they're gyrating wildly on the dance floor out of control," he said. "This is a patterned response. It gives distance information, location information. That information is intact."

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie...

[seireikhaan]

Cocaine turns bees into liars

According to the boffins, cocaine turns good bees - productive members of the hive - into untrustworthy scumbags. The cocaine-addled insects would routinely exaggerate the quality of sugar or pollen they had found, lying to their fellow hive members through the medium of "waggle dancing", the standard method of describing one's work among bees.

But the bees' dance remained accurate in terms of where the food was, according to Robinson. The insect drug-slaves maintained a certain level of dignity.

"It's not like they're gyrating wildly on the dance floor out of control," he said. "This is a patterned response. It gives distance information, location information. That information is intact."

Didn't they learn their lesson after experimenting on spiders?

[Lemur]

Giant sea woodlice invade Britain

"There are lots of them down at the bottom of the sea but because of the depths they live at, they rarely turn up in fishing nets or lobster pots.

"They are scavengers which feed on the carcasses of dead fish and other creatures. They are doing a very good clean-up job.

"When we flew our nine to the UK, we wrapped each one individually in wet hessian. We then covered them in wet newspaper and then encased them in ice for the journey.

"They live in the dark in temperatures as low as (39F) 4C - we are very excited.

"At the moment they are being kept in a large quarantine tank in a shaded and dark corner at the Sea Life Centre in Weymouth.

"The tank has special coolers that keeps the water at a chilly 4C. After quarantine they will be taken to the Sea Life Centre in Blackpool.

"The tank there has been fitted with reflective glass that keeps it dark inside but allows people to look in.

"It, too, is fitted with special coolers to keep the temperature at 4C (39F)."

[Conqueror]

Adorable critters. Maybe they can get 'em to reproduce in the tank, then every sea life centre could have it's own specimen

[Banquo's Ghost]

Absolutely potty.

Surely this darling $60 dumper is the apotheosis of a dream first dreamed by Charles Babbage as he painstakingly constructed his pioneering Difference Engine in the 1830s. "Today a machine can calculate," he may have dared imagine, "Tomorrow it may think. And some day - we can only hope! - mankind will create a machine that can poop!"

[Fisherking]

Absolutely potty.

Surely this darling $60 dumper is the apotheosis of a dream first dreamed by Charles Babbage as he painstakingly constructed his pioneering Difference Engine in the 1830s. "Today a machine can calculate," he may have dared imagine, "Tomorrow it may think. And some day - we can only hope! - mankind will create a machine that can poop!"

But how did you miss this gem from the same page!

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/12/04/toy_taliban/

A year of idiocy in toys…as elsewhere…

[Lemur]

A man who lives in a wooden house with vinyl siding decides to remove snow by hooking up a blowtorch to a 20-pond propane tank. Can you guess what happens?

Kruger says the man was using a torch hooked up to a 20-pound propane cylinder. He got too close to the building's wood frame and ignited the vinyl siding. The fire quickly spread into the building's second- and third-floor apartments.

It took 25 firefighters to subdue the blaze that damaged bedrooms in the upstairs units, and caused damage to the structure and wiring.

The homeowner will not be charged.

Meanwhile, I think we all should avoid traveling to Brighton City, MI.

Ticking someone off could get you a ticket in one Michigan city. The Brighton City Council on Thursday approved an ordinance allowing police in the Livingston County community to ticket and fine anyone who is annoying in public "by word of mouth, sign or motions."

[Lemur]

I just can't stop it. When the Backroom re-opens, maybe we can merge this in with the existing News of the Weird. Meanwhile ...

Mega-orgy in Tel Aviv cancelled due to public pressure

After weeks of preparations for the largest sex event of its kind in Israel, organizers were forced to cancel it this week due to public pressure and threats exerted on the owner of the venue where the sex fest was to take place.

The event in question, which was scheduled to take place on "International Orgasm Day," aimed to bring together some 250 participants seeking to promote world peace through multiple orgasms reached by masturbation or sex.

The orgy was organized by the Raelian movement, a UFO religion whose followers believe humankind was created by aliens.