News of the Weird

[Lemur]

The Bookseller magazine's shortlist for 2008's Oddest Book Title is out:

• Baboon Metaphysics by Dorothy Dorothy L Cheney and Robert M Seyfarth (University of Chicago Press)
• Curbside Consultation of the Colon by Brooks D Cash (SLACK Incorporated)
• The Large Sieve and its Applications by Emmanuel Kowalski (Cambridge University Press)
• Strip and Knit with Style by Mark Hordyszynski (C&T)
• Techniques for Corrosion Monitoring by Lietai Yang (Woodhead)
• The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-milligram Containers of Fromage Frais by Professor Philip M Parker (Icon Group International)

Sales Analyst at The Bookseller, Philip Stone said: "We received a huge number of entries this year and the debate was furious as to which would be included on the shortlist. Six seems such a cruelly low number given titles such as Excrement in the Late Middle Ages and All Dogs Have ADHD were rejected.

[Crazed Rabbit]

[*]Techniques for Corrosion Monitoring by Lietai Yang (Woodhead)

That's not weird.

CR

[Lemur]

I know, CR, it's clearly an engineering book. What kinda idjit puts that on the shortlist but ignores Excrement in the Late Middle Ages? Meanwhile ...

[InsaneApache]

I bet that's the first pussy he's swallowed. Ever.

[Louis VI the Fat]

I bet that's the first pussy he's swallowed. Ever.

That's the bright side of it! Gender equality at last for the question 'do you swallow?'

The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-milligram Containers of Fromage Frais by Professor Philip M Parker

That's not weird.

[Lemur]

Feeling stressed? A television reporter has a unique solution to your problem:

A Hong Kong television reporter who quit his job after he was arrested for masturbating naked on a bus said he was only trying to 'ease his stress', reports said on Friday.

Chiu Yu kit, a former journalist at Asia Television (ATV), admitted in court to the act while he was alone on the top tier of a double-decker bus on July 31, The Standard and other newspapers reported.

An off-duty officer made the arrest after he jogged past the bus and saw Chiu standing on a seat naked and facing a window, the court was told.

Chiu, 31, pleaded guilty to one count of indecency in public, but added that he committed the offence only to release his stress. [...]

Last month, a 'lonely and disturbed' Hong Kong man became stuck and had to be freed by emergency services after attempting to have sex with a park bench.

[Conqueror]

I don't know what "maximum security" stands for in Greek prisons, but it seems that as long as you've got some buddies with a helicopter, you won't be staying for long.

Greece's most notorious prisoner and his accomplice escaped from a maximum-security prison in Athens on Sunday in a Hollywood-style helicopter getaway – for the second time.

[Lemur]

Couple who met playing Halo online have the world's first Halo-themed wedding. This has to be some kind of ultimate geek fantasy ...

"After the reception we had a bride-versus-groom Halo tournament in place of the first dance. To keep with the theme, I wanted to find a creative way to give away the bouquet and garter. So the guys and girls fought each other in a slayer match for them. I liked the idea of people having to earn the garter or bouquet instead of just reaching up and catching it. Who won? John did…by two kills."

[Fragony]

This has to be some kind of ultimate geek fantasy ...

well http://www.ukresistance.co.uk/2009/0...-halo-fan.html

[Papewaio]

Stingrays join the Octosquid Alliance.

The Alliance has a new line of heavy lifters to raise them from the sediment of the ocean all the way to the river banks as Stingrays now join the fray.

A BRITISH biologist on a working holiday in Thailand has captured a 55-stone (349kg) stingray - the biggest freshwater fish ever caught using a rod and line.

The Sun reports Ian Welch, 45, spent 90 minutes reeling in the giant stingray and it took 13 men to lift it out of the water.

The stingray measured 7ft (2.1m) long and 7ft (2.1m) wide, while its poisonous barbed tail measured 10ft (3m). The previous record was a 46-stone (292kg) catfish caught in 2005.

[Lemur]

The Alliance has a new line of heavy lifters to raise them from the sediment of the ocean all the way to the river banks as Stingrays now join the fray.

Those fools in the article will kill us all!

Mr Welch and the team later released the stingray, which turned out to be a pregnant female.

Nooooooooo!

[Gregoshi]

Still going on about this crock-tosquid alliance? There's not one opposable thumb amongst them. I'm not worried. (note the thumb - they won't even be able to issue a thumbs-down-kill-him gesture should they ever enslave us - - and force us to fight in the arean of death)

[Lemur]

Oh, no opposable thumb, so I guess we've got nothing to worry about, since they'll never be able to ...

An octopus in Germany has learned how to open jars underwater. Frieda the four-month-old octopus demonstrates her special skill to stunned crowds at Hellabrunn Zoo in Munich every day. Keepers said Frieda puts her whole body over the jar and grips onto the lid with her suckers. She then quickly twists her body round to open the jar. And she's even figured out the difference between empty jars and ones which are filled with her fave snacks - crabs, clams and shrimps.

Aieeeeeee!

[Gregoshi]

So only our Marines should be concerned.

YES! A double pun! Lemur, you're the BEST!

[Vladimir]

So only our Marines should be concerned.

YES! A double pun! Lemur, you're the BEST!

The Marines should be fine. They leave the empty jars alone.

[InsaneApache]

You'd be buggered if you happened to disguise yourself as a pot of marmalade.

[Gregoshi]

The Marines should be fine. They leave the empty jars alone.

Awesome comeback Vlad. I hadn't considered the empty jar angle.

[Marshal Murat]

Man dies Happy

A Russian man died after guzzling a bottle of Viagra to keep him going for a 12-hour orgy with two female pals.

[naut]

[Gregoshi]

Man dies Happy

Two thoughts cross my mind reading this:

1) I was never offered such a bet.
2) Lucky stiff.

[seireikhaan]

Man dies Happy

Where's Strike, we found his role model...

[Strike For The South]

Epic Win.

[Major Robert Dump]

Somebody finally gave me a reason to have kids.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive...6091bird1.html

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Maybe so, but guys will do anything for a little tail.

[Vladimir]

Somebody finally gave me a reason to have kids.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive...6091bird1.html

I'm lost for words.

[Gregoshi]

I'm lost for words.

Not entirely.

[Lemur]

Man pleads no contest to sex with car wash vacuum.

[Lemur]

Balsamic Vinegar Thief: "We will get you."

A sign hangs amid the bottles of vinegar at Newport Avenue Market. It's simple, to the point: "Thanks to the Balsamic Vinegar Thief this area is now under surveillance. We will get you." The last sentence, it should be noted, is underlined. For about a year, a thief pinched bottle after bottle of balsamic vinegar from the store—and not the low-end stuff.

No, this thief was after bottles that go for $30 or $40 a pop. "Thieves with good taste." That's how owner Rudy Dory explains them. [...]

Steve Esselstyn, community liaison for the Bend Police Department, says the police don't get many calls from grocery stores, and when they do it's typically something along the lines of a kid trying to score beer.

But balsamic vinegar?

"Well," Esselstyn said, "they must be a vegetarian."

[Hosakawa Tito]

Balsamic Vinegar Thief: "We will get you."

A sign hangs amid the bottles of vinegar at Newport Avenue Market. It's simple, to the point: "Thanks to the Balsamic Vinegar Thief this area is now under surveillance. We will get you." The last sentence, it should be noted, is underlined. For about a year, a thief pinched bottle after bottle of balsamic vinegar from the store—and not the low-end stuff.

No, this thief was after bottles that go for $30 or $40 a pop. "Thieves with good taste." That's how owner Rudy Dory explains them. [...]

Steve Esselstyn, community liaison for the Bend Police Department, says the police don't get many calls from grocery stores, and when they do it's typically something along the lines of a kid trying to score beer.

But balsamic vinegar?

"Well," Esselstyn said, "they must be a vegetarian."

I use balsamic vinegar in place of salad dressing all the time and I'm not a vegetarian....er...I've never been to Oregon in my life, I swear...

[InsaneApache]

Aye with a bit of olive oil and fresh cracked blackpepper, who needs Heinz Salad Cream?